Dealing with strong emotions

SKapper · 2014-03-23T14:06:22+00:00

I was very recently in a meeting that challenged me. It was emotional because it was associated with my son. It was challenging because it was me, three women and a loud mouthed white knight beta who had arrived at the meeting with a preconceived outcome.

I've been in some pretty wild shit fights in my life, I like to think I have this licked. My angle is to strip all emotion. Nothing. Zip. No jokes, no smiles, no playing along to their small talk. Absolutely nothing. I keep the conversation on track, I talk clearly, firmly and I hold eye contact with whomever I'm talking to. I refuse to let myself be talked over. I raise a hand and say very clearly "I have not finished", pause and continue.

The loud mouth betas protests were met with calm but firm voice that may have had a hint if a growl behind it. This clown swore A LOT throughout the meeting, made quite a fuss. DONT EVER DO THIS. I do not swear. Your language should be adaptive, fluid and well thought out but don't ever drop to a level where you're hurling insults or foul language - THIS is what they want you to do.

My body language is always neutral, straight back but relaxed with my hand set on my upper thigh and my shoulder set to exaggerate my size but without looking like a douche bag. I turn my head but not my body to address those to my side, and quickly return to eyes front once I've said what I had to say.

Pure facts make it easy. Not letting them distract you with emotional tangents is key though.

I couldn't walk away in this instance, but I avoid it at all costs anyway. If somebody is trying to make you do something stupid, chances are if you give them enough rope they'll hang themselves anyway. If it evolves into a fist fight, you just have to fight in my opinion.

When it comes time to close, or leave, I give off of sense of mild annoyance and show little faith in their suggested alternatives, but not in a dick way. A single nod with a set jaw, good eye contact but followed by a slow shake of the head as you stand. I always shake hands as I leave but my one dick move is to catch them before they can stand - I never shake hands while I'm sitting down, I know that the dynamics of a handshake can send powerful messages. To me (and this could be wrong) but if I'm standing over you when I shake your hand I'm telling you that you're MY bitch now.

In my example I was labelled a sociopath, intimidating and an unfit parent. But, of course, despite these labels they haven't actioned them.

My release at the end of this is to shout "fuck" as loud as I can three times, in my car. Just to purge the negative energy. Feels good and nobody gets hurt.

MetacognitiveMan · 2014-03-23T12:40:56+00:00

That is one huge benefit from being in the Marine Infantry. When somebody hurls emotion at me, I've developed an ability to react with no emotion back. Sometimes I'll smirk. Inside I may be screaming, but I mostly only yell when I choose to.

I've found the following helps;

Keep shoulders relaxed.
Take deep breaths.
Slow down your talking.
Pause longer before talking.
Talk to yourself about how you recognize that you could show emotion right now but you won't because you are in control.
Remember to reflect emotion and not to absorb emotion. Recognize emotion in others but don't take on that emotion for yourself.
Never argue when not sober.

stemgang · 2014-03-23T18:58:27+00:00

Try CBT. Thought-blocking, I/e, HALT, identifying your own triggers, and channeling negative emotions through healthy outlets can be really helpful tools in managing your emotional frame.

loin_fruit · 2014-03-23T15:54:21+00:00

I was walking up the stairs and a group of girls were in the way. I put my hand on the girls ribs and moved her out of the way. She said "don't touch me" so I yelled back down the stairs "then get the fuck out of the way". Oh man it was funny watching their hamster wheels turning not realizing that I told them to fuck off. Something not many guys do. I kept my frame by just thinking about how funny and stupid they were.

Movonnow · 2014-03-23T15:08:41+00:00

Relax. Open. Accept.

Relax your body : your shoulders, your elbows, declenched your fist.

Open your body : stand up tall, hands out of your pocket, arms widely spread.

Accept : feel the emotion, recognize it is there and accept it. Don't fight it.

[deleted] · 2014-03-23T23:44:31+00:00

Yoga and meditation really help me, they might help you.

TheStoneyVibes · 2014-03-23T12:13:52+00:00

I mean id step outside and smoke a butt/ get some air and see how i felt after a minute. Then go back in and talk to a different group of people if it was a singular person/group that pissed you off. Its a party bro you can switch up who youre socializing with thats the point. Networking, yo. Thats also an easy way to make plates. Friend of a friend has a hot friend you may like type deal

BluepillProfessor · 2014-03-23T21:46:16+00:00

My mommy told me very, very little that was helpful except this: When you are about to explode count to 20 very slowly as you leave the room. Actually it is better to count your breaths. Deep cleansing breath...1. Next Breath...heading for the door 2....

When you can stand there and control your rage that is when you begin to achieve mastery- something that is very, very rare in this society.

Overzealous_BlackGuy · 2014-03-23T16:30:07+00:00

i tell myself a relationship is a gamble. you put in what your not afraid to lose. if you cant handle it, then stick to gaming.

Title	Dealing with strong emotions
Author	a_nus
Upvotes	18
Comments	25
Date	March 23, 2014 11:33 AM UTC (12 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/TheRedPill
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/TheRedPill/comments/2154l5/dealing_with_strong_emotions/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/TheRedPill/dealing-with-strong-emotions.12961 https://theredarchive.com/post/12961

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