Do Not Be Blinded And Ignore Red Flags

chazthundergut · 2019-11-13T20:16:49+00:00

I like how you handled the handshake guy

Imperator_Red · 2019-11-14T17:38:57+00:00

So what were the red flags? Fuck, why can’t anyone write a coherent story

Theblackmistro · 2019-11-13T21:47:16+00:00

You have been played like the other 2 dudes who slept on the sofa. You should work on your abundance mate. If a girl cheated on you once then you still didn't cut her off completely then it's your fault.

anicebigrodforyou · 2019-11-14T05:03:32+00:00

[removed]

gsp9511 · 2019-11-14T19:06:05+00:00

Let me see if I got this:

She brought up "The Talk" and you overtly told her you're not commiting to her unless she proves to be girlfriend material. It happens she didn't prove worthy of you because she was dating other men while you were drooling on your ONEitis for her.

Also, you didn't mention any red flags. What were they, exactly?

Whatever is the point of this post, here's my advice to you:

Spin more plates.

Veritantum · 2019-11-16T21:18:31+00:00

....so what were the specific red flags?

ArdAtak · 2019-11-14T17:15:30+00:00

What's impressive, and difficult for me to understand, is how you can go from having oneitis to plating her and not having any emotions and being OK with her hooking up with other dudes. I wish I could do that. Not strong enough I guess.

RockSexton · 2019-11-13T18:52:23+00:00

This girl and I stopped dating a couple months ago.

I still struggle with acknowledging the red flags that manifested vs. being understanding of the horrific relationship trauma she had been through in the 2-3 years prior to us dating. It then further complicates whether my foot dragging was because of those things or because of old non-committal issues (distancer, fear of abandonment) showed up again.

It's confusing times. I've been trying to reconcile and it's not really going anywhere even though the breadcrumbing was increasing signifcantly. She's now portraying this whole other person that wasn't there when we dated. How did I miss it? We're also co-workers, she has a history of serial work dating, and the orbiting is getting out control. Male validation (even if she's not romantically interested) is too important in her life, which is bizarre given that her central thesis is "all guys screw her over". The irony is when we dated, I didn't care because I had all the power at the time.

SaucyAndroid · 2019-11-17T15:46:57+00:00

Reading this is such a mind fuck, it's literally the exact same scenario over and over for me and so relatable beyond words. I wanted to make this reply longer and more worthy but I have nothing else to say - it's near exact even with the running into her with you as the "ex" xx months later.

That being said, do you find yourself conceptualizing the future and how many more times you'll end up in this same scenario? I find myself in consecutive relationships this very same way, but now I (and you for that matter) have our standards set to a point where we won't let it get serious enough to become an actual LTR with all the red flags. For me, nearly every single time it's that she's relentlessly insistent upon keeping her ex around as a close friend - and she, over and over, whoever it is, plate after plate, will do this - always through her actions, and most definitely not through her words.

There's so many more details to dive in to on your topics but what matters is ultimately whether or not you cave into breaking your own standards for someone. And staying true to this is the most genuine thing you'll ever do. I also find myself comparing all these situations to my beta (engaged & married) male friends, and find myself cringing when we're all out to dinner and one of my guys soon-to-be wife will drop some worthless fact about her ex-boyfriend from college right in front of the entire friend group. No thanks.

NightwingTRP · 2019-11-20T15:08:06+00:00

and squeeze this guy's hand harder than any hand I had ever squeezed in a handshake before.

And you think he's the beta. He provoked an irrational reaction out of you. Weaklings are not worthy of your wrath. Believe me, I know, because I did similar sorts of things to the end of your story in the past. It's just childish behaviour. The beta guy is no competition, why even behave like he matters? Beta guys are stupid and irritating at times, but beating them in the sexual game is like beating up a toddler. They had no chance to begin with and your victory is hollow.

I remember a great story from about 5 years ago by scottishredpill who was chatting up a lass with a boyfriend and had his head slammed into a wall by a beta orbiter. No reaction from him to this. Chick reacted poorly to the beta's violence, told him off, told him to go sit in the corner. Took scotty outside and blew him and gave him her phone number or something like that. It made me laugh how unequal the competition is. He literally didn't need to bother doing anything.

An additional point that should be made on this FR - it's a good example of female solipsism. They evaluate men more positively by the amount of interest men can get from other women. (Social proof.) They assume that by showing they have men interested in them, that this somehow makes them more attractive to us when in fact the opposite is true. Women can't get out of their own little heads.

2019-11-27T16:10:47+00:00

Lmao, my ltr went behind my back to meet this guy and I buster her arse,

She told me same, "I wouldn't have done that if you'd have married me. "

AWALT

Title	Do Not Be Blinded And Ignore Red Flags
Author	anicebigrodforyou
Upvotes	66
Comments	25
Date	November 13, 2019 5:14 PM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/TheRedPill
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/TheRedPill/comments/dvuuba/do_not_be_blinded_and_ignore_red_flags/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/TheRedPill/do-not-be-blinded-and-ignore-red-flags.295729 https://theredarchive.com/post/295729

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