The twilight following a breakup, a divorce, even potentially after just dating a girl who left you is crucial to making progress and developing as a man. The toxic bluepill mindset becomes all too apparent that 'you'll prove her wrong' or 'show her what she's missing' and it drastically hinders your own development. This bitterness towards her, how she's made the wrong decision, and how you're going to change her mind, is futile.

Part of being Redpill is accepting reality for what it is, not what you want it to be. Understanding and accepting what you cannot control (i.e. the girl and her feelings) and realising the stuff you can control (i.e. your actions/reactions to her). This is arguably the important piece missing for a lot of guys who get caught up in the ‘mental masturbation’ of what ifs.

When you start losing the girl or losing in life generally, it's like losing your hand at the poker table – You don’t double down. I.e. you don’t try to challenge or convince a girl otherwise when she’s lost interest and then become bitter when it doesn't work out. You don’t stay and beg and try and win again. You walk. The better men run. Like the better racing drivers who always drive into a skid when the car starts losing control. There's no revenge, no winning, no proving them wrong. Its about accepting the situation to allow you to become better from it.

How do you do this you ask? How can you focus on being better when you still care about the girl? Well, you invest in yourself: lift weights, read, get back to that hobby you didn't have time for, laugh at the short 90 year existence we are all bound by. Getting stronger, mentally and physically, gaining experiences and feeling positive are all important aspects of being a better man. Even small steps every day, still make you better than the last. Over time this cumulative effect will become noticeable. Start focusing your energy aware from that creeping sense of bitterness or disappoint, it serves no function for us.