Summary:

This is intended to be a Field Report which will be updated as further communications, if any, are received. I am following advice here, which says to not give closure after a breakup. It appears the result will be predictable.

Full disclosure: I mentioned ending my LTR here once before, but I went back to the well. I just can't lie to you all.

I have been seeing a girl who I thought would make a good mother. She is 25 and a teacher. She is full of liberal propaganda, but can think relatively straight if it isn't being spoon fed to her by her liberal family on a constant basis. The long distance stuff probably didn't help with this, considering the lack of influence I can have on her from afar.

She called me tonight to argue about how hate speech should be a crime and about how she was upset that I was defending neo nazis. I wasn't, and I haven't, but I spoke with her on a couple occasions recently on how free speech needs to remain unrestricted in case these same neo nazis came into power: they would be able to suppress dissent with violence.

After that discussion (stupid of me to have with her, I know), she wanted to discuss the nature of our long distance relationship. Previously, she didn't want me to have sex with other women while we were away from eachother for months at a time. I explained to her how that, if we were married and we didn't have sex for months on end, we would get a divorce, so the same goes for long distance: sex is non-negotiable.

She began to differ on the subject and said she would never want to move to where I live and work now. I stated that I was giving up a lot to wait for years to have children, since she would want to wait until she was 30.

Conversation then goes like this:

Her: I don't want to get in the way of something real you could have there...

Me: Ok, well you have a good night. click

She calls back asking about what I was doing with the girls down here, and then reiterates that she doesn't see herself having kids with me if I moved back to her area anyway.

So I responded with:

"That's really too bad. I liked talking with you. You have a good night."

She replies "wait! what are you thinking!"

click

At this point, I see no reason for her to continue talking to me other than for emotional validation.

No kids: dealbreaker

No sex: dealbreaker

Not ever going to move here, where she could easily find well paying teaching work: dealbreaker

It looks like Valhalla_Man is ready to begin plate spinning again after nearly 2 years off.

And TRP, you have my word on this, I will never, ever stop.

Thanks for all of your wisdom. Your advice is the only reason I was able to not beta-fy this relationship and have it work as well as possible for as long as it did, and you are the reason I was spinning 4 plates before I met my new ex-girlfriend.

I am looking forward to the years to come. I am only 30 and have just made the biggest financial gains thus far in my life.

I'll provide updates if anyone is interested in how not providing the sought after emotional closure affects things.

TLDR: Long distance LTR who lets me spin plates while she is away breaks up with me. No closure will be given. Updates to follow if any drama occurs.

Edit: I would like to point out that, while I am not in as good of shape as I should be, the ability to still have sex while she was gone really helped motivate my workouts and keep in practice with game all the time. I need to thank TRP for that as well.

Update:

Received about 20 phone calls and roughly the same number of texts since Saturday night.

I am unwilling to engage in the emotional closure dance.

I can't think of a more sincere way to end things with a man than:

  1. I am never moving to where you are.

  2. You should move back here (even though I could move to you easily and keep my career, while you could not)

  3. Even if you move here, I don't see myself having children with you.

It seems that she knows it's over, but that she just wants to verify that I am not worth her time before she gives up on me "for real."

I will not give her that satisfaction. It's over.