FR: Manipulative ex fails to reorbit me

TomDemian · 2015-08-01T16:50:14+00:00

Do you agree with my interpretation of her emails/behavior? I acutally regret not meeting her, it'd be fun to fuck with her mind with shit like above: "think", "we both know what that means", etc :D

I agree with your interpretation, but I don't think it'd be fun to fuck with her.

By continuing to fuck with someone you had beta feelings for, you're going to continue letting her reactions validate you. "You see? I'm cool now, I can ignore you!" is just looking for validation that you're cool now, you can ignore her.

Trolling is only healthy when you don't have any emotional attachment. Anything else moves you closer to oneitis obsessive beta behavior.

nmkam · 2015-08-01T14:13:42+00:00

Her: You should've told me you don't want to meet.

It blows my mind how crafty this is. She just can't handle a situation where she is the one constantly initating contact, so she tries to push me into a frame where I'm the one that did something wrong.

I hate when girls do this. A plate I span exactly once tried to pull this shit with me when I didn't reply directly to some soppy, lovey dovey bullshit she texted me (admittedly it made me very uncomfortable so I just side stepped it). Tried to guilt trip me, I told her off and she ended up apologizing. GJ OP, never enter her frame as the moment you do that, your balls are firmly in her grip until you can wrestle them loose.

santander26 · 2015-08-01T12:58:26+00:00

You failed too. Why did you WASTE your time with this idiot again? Even one sec. Mailing, texting. WASTE.

Relevantex · 2015-08-01T15:42:15+00:00

The only way I see this is she's the one fucking around with you. She has no idea what changes you've made since then - so the second you said "what's up?" she immediately remembers you as the beta were before, hence the Skype question. The frame was set the second you initiated the conversation, and her interpretation was you desired to fall back into your rightful place as a satellite.

You're fighting an uphill battle. She holds the power, in her mind, and uses it by 'punishing you' (waiting 2 weeks) and the 'I hope you don't mind' comment as salt in the wound by not being a good beta and complying with the Skype request.

Now, finally, you get a chance to fight back. You ignore all her bs, showing you DGAF 2 weeks later and confuse her. But you just started on the wrong foot and it took a month to even begin trying to change the Frame.

Lesson I got from this: Don't bother initiating conversation with girls we were beta with. You're so SO much better off starting fresh with a girl who you can hit on and make out with in 15 minutes or less.

Sdom1 · 2015-08-01T15:21:14+00:00

Dude, after months of no contact you email her again out of the blue? It's hard to maintain your power in that situation, as you started out with supplicating behavior. I don't think this was going to work out for you no matter what, but a big mistake was letting her pick the hour that you two would meet. You should have said, "X place at Y time." Then, if she's not there when Y time elapses, leave and go somewhere else.

You didn't get a reply to "think" because it made no sense. You lost, plain and simple.

AssedM · 2015-08-01T20:07:40+00:00

Bro, first of all.. you are calling your 'ex' but never fucked her, wtf. Second, YOU are the one that hit her up, she wasn't trying to do shit. Last, your title is completely wrong. She isn't orbiting you, you are orbiting her, meaning she send you into orbit. Her orbiting you would be you having her as a plate but unwilling to give commitment. Grow the fuck up scrub.

PantsonFire1234 · 2015-08-01T23:52:26+00:00

Me: what's up?

Eeeeeeeeeh, first mistake. You initiated contact after one month of trying to make her think you 'don't care'. You've been improving yourself and now you want validation for that improvement from your oneitis. This is a womans things to want, men don't go looking for validation, it's weak.

Me: I won't talk on skype. We can meet in person whenever you'll be in town.

She gave you the chance to skype after you reached out and you instantly shoot down her half asses lay-up. Then you tell her you want to meet her in person. This shows her your intent and validates her power over you, she knows you want to fuck her. You aren't coming across as dominant and/or aloof. The message is set and very clear to her, this reflects your obvious struggle to unplug.

I waited two weeks to reply with some nonsense, completely ignoring her question :D. I didn't get a reply, until...

Now you're getting passive aggressive and playing text mind games like a little girl. She waits two weeks, you wait two weeks. You're mimicking the enemy general, Sun Tzu is very ashamed of you. After two weeks you basically break your silent treatment by replying.

Me: at X. pick an hour.

She's in your city. She knows you want to meet. She doesn't necessarily care about seeing you, especially if you keep acting like this. Of course you do, you let her decide the hour while validating your desire to meet. The fact that you're going "any hour is fine by me" reveals the underlying truth.

You fucked up your frame when you initiated contact and worsened your position consequently after that. You showed your intent and validated her control over you.

My ex (I used to fuck mine) started initiating contact after two months of radio silence on my part after I initiated contact just like you did. In those two months I discovered TRP, hard nexted her (though no blocked phone messages) improved loads and found my old self again (when single I was mostly RP). This girl suddenly contacts me and tries the whole validation/control routine.

Her: Hey just a quick question, IS YOUR HAIR SHORT NOW?!!

Me: yes, cut it some time ago.

Her: Hahaha, let me see. Send a picture!

Me: have none

Her: Time to have a selfie-mentality

Me: nah, fuck selfies

Her: Mweh, that's lameee

Me: hmmm okay

Her: Hahahaha, thank you for your okay!

Me: yeah no problem

= Silence

I didn't care about catching up, meeting her or getting validation. Honestly I wanted the conversation to end as quickly as it could. Now she's 'ignoring' me. Probably will contact me again one day because I sure as hell won't. I'll continue deviating her while not giving an inch until she fizzles out. I want nothing from her, she holds zero power.

See how I'm not playing any games? Going my route logically reduces the chances you'd get to plate your ex or some shit. Which is pretty much the point because if that's your goal, then you need to rethink you're priorities.

You might not like the truth but you need to hear it. If you think this is tough on you then you aren't prepared for life. There are no more easy days.

Moolg86 · 2015-08-01T16:50:22+00:00

The general consensus of the comments so far seems to be a lot of admonishment of Op for reaching out to a former celestial body he used to orbit.

I don't think it's impossible to plate an old and powerful oneitis. (I've done it before, albeit accidentally and pre trp) it is however an uphill battle, and imho not worth the conscious effort, because you'll start from a place of outcome dependence, and it'll be easier to slip back into beta tendencies.

qdegtjulo · 2015-08-01T18:45:16+00:00

Oh god, you're overanalyzing this. This may be a story where you used some social skills but there are no lessons to be learned here.

Any if you want my advice, don't say one detail and ask her to decide on the rest (you pick the place, she picks the time) because all you'll get is silence. To think that's crafty is wrong because she was probably thinking about what time to pick when an orbiter interrupted her train of thought with a message and she forgot about you.

And don't message chicks like that out of the blue after some time away, that makes them think they are on your mind and you had to call.

3rt41 · 2015-08-02T09:37:36+00:00

I stopped reading on the "I decided to send her an email".

SgtDowns · 2015-08-01T18:24:15+00:00

You have no grasp on reality. Your ex isn't trying to "reorbit you". YOU contacted her out of the blue and continue to try to talk to her and when she expresses any interest you post this shit going "hur durr look at how cool I am".

Dude she's fucking ignoring you after your think message. Do yourself a favor and don't wait for her message and get this passive aggressive bullshit out of here.

Asoka11111 · 2015-08-02T17:19:25+00:00

You expected a girl to plan a rendezvous? That's not how this shit works. YOU get HER number. YOU pick something that works best for YOUR schedule at a venue YOU like. If she flakes, move on. If not, engage.

You over analyzed the shit out of her behavior. This was not a series of power plays. This was just a girl being a girl.

slcjosh · 2015-08-01T16:05:15+00:00

You could always just ignore her and move on with your life...

mrmeyhemn · 2015-08-01T22:58:01+00:00

i think you should cut contact with this crazy cumdumpster and find a different one to occupy the time that you keep letting this one suck out of your life.

SpongeCroft · 2015-08-02T02:56:25+00:00

could you clarify how much "some time" is?

Title	FR: Manipulative ex fails to reorbit me
Author	doremix
Upvotes	0
Comments	40
Date	August 1, 2015 12:42 PM UTC (11 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/TheRedPill
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/TheRedPill/comments/3fehp8/fr_manipulative_ex_fails_to_reorbit_me/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/TheRedPill/fr-manipulative-ex-fails-to-reorbit-me.35187 https://theredarchive.com/post/35187

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