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[–]czmtzc points points points 9 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link
Well, you know what, you didn't REALLY get rejected, it was an excuse that keeps her options open.
You planted a seed.
[–]turn20left21 points22 points23 points 9 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Wait for a seed to grow into a plant, then fuck the plant.
[–]TRP VanguardHumanSockPuppet44 points45 points46 points 9 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
Exactly. She will remember the impression OP made on her. And the two of them will have many more opportunities to interact, which means many more opportunities for her to overcome her shyness and figure how to send him the "please proceed" signals.
[–]LilB2fast4u points points points 9 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link
exaclty this gut is setting himself short, his next move should be "for real, i give you my number and if you text me...you text me" after a lil conversation, then if she takes it....wait. the end.
[–]24357340980 points1 point2 points 9 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Why not just ask for her number instead? Don't give out your number ffs
[–][deleted] 27 points28 points29 points 9 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Plus, there is now no awkwardness. He made his intentions known and gave it a try, rather that pining away like a creeper. Even if they never hang out, this is a much better frame for being classmates and even friends. Women are way cooler with this vibe than wondering if someone is interacting with them from the (weak) frame of unrequited desire.
[–]V4PINDT199234 points35 points36 points 9 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I agree with the first comment. Seed planted. Continue to talk and flirt with said girl. If she is acting shy, or playing hard to get, that means you can continue to practice game.
[–]Senior EndorsedMattyAnon51 points52 points53 points 9 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
"You trying to get some food in the cafe right now then?" / "oh, I kinda gotta study with my friend"
How is this a rejection? You aren't leading and you aren't asking for something. You are asking what her plans are and she told you. That's not a rejection because you've not tried anything.
For all she knows you are literally just asking her what her plans are.
Women are extremely weirdly negatively conservative in what constitutes being asked out. It's like they'll look for every way possible that it's not being asked out - she really doesn't want to say "yes, I'd love to go on a date with you!" and have you turn around and say "oh, I didn't mean a DATE". To avoid this she treats your offer as the lowest/least meaningful it could be, which is to assume you're just asking her plans.
If she knows you like her, and she thinks you are being weak (ie rejection avoidant) in asking her out, she'll feel that you're putting responsibility onto her, and will lose attraction (because you've lost polarity).
Equally you shouldn't ask for too much, but should definitely be leading/asking for something. For example in this situation: "come have lunch with me".
She might still say "can't, busy", but she could well rearrange or make it clear she wants you to reschedule.
[–][deleted] 3 points4 points5 points 9 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
This is a good perspective. It is definitely best to get to that masculine/feminine polarity to leave no doubt in her mind as to the intent.
[–]sea_weasel73 points74 points75 points 9 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link
Well done brother. I suggest you start talking to other girls in the same class, make it abundantly clear she's an after thought.
[–]Trpidation14 points15 points16 points 9 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
This right here, 100% OP. You did your job with her, but you need to keep doing your job. What job is that, you ask?
The job all men share. Hunting for pussy.
[–][deleted] 47 points48 points49 points 9 years ago (8 children) | Copy Link
She didn't straight up say "No."
Don't push her, but you will get another chance.
[–]Troll_Name70 points71 points72 points 9 years ago (6 children) | Copy Link
Correction: SHE gets another chance, and so does the rest of the planet.
Saying the male has another chance is the path to genocidal oneitis and the downfall of civilization.
[–]DoubleT06 points points points 9 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link
Exactly! He is the prize, not her.
[+]slay_it_forward-12 points-11 points-10 points 9 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
No, really she is the prize. Young attractive women will always have the power in the smp. Sperm is cheap, eggs are expensive. Why be delusional about it? That's the definition of hamster. Acknowledging reality doesn't create oneitis, scarcity does. And when you're putting yourself out there consistently you shouldn't have to worry about that...unless you're ugly and fat.
she is the prize
women will always have the power
eggs are expensive
Do you carry your pedestals around in your backpack or use a wagon?
[–]Diarrhea_Van_Frank0 points1 point2 points 9 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Is that a pedestal though? That's just the biological reality. The entire thing that makes women attracted to men is subverting that and making them believe that you get to do the choosing, but that's really just elaborate self deception. The truth is the truth, it's just that if you want to be successful you have to deny the truth, create your own reality and reside in it wholly.
Great point, maintain your frame, YOU are the prize she should be fighting for, she is nothing to you but a wet hole.
[–]Budfox_923 points4 points5 points 9 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
"so you're saying there's a chance?"
[–][deleted] 15 points16 points17 points 9 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
i would have said.
"I'm about to head down the cafe and grab something to eat...wanna come and watch?" ha
[–]slay_it_forward8 points9 points10 points 9 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Or just be direct. He was beating around the bush too much. "Hey I'm gonna go grab a drink, wanna join?" would suffice.
[–]trippinallday0 points1 point2 points 9 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
At least in my area the way he phrased it is pretty acceptable. Generally when someone around here says "You tryna X" it basically means "I am going to go X and you can tag along if you want"
[–][deleted] 8 points9 points10 points 9 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
I wish I had TRP knowledge at your age. You should go about your life at University just as you did with her. It really is a numbers game and her rejection says nothing about you or your quality. You did the right thing and I urge you to keep it up. She will see you with other women and you will instantly be more attractive to her in that light. She might even put herself out there for you at that point, but it doesn't matter anyways because abundance is your permanent frame.
[–]Gman7771 point2 points3 points 9 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
Our dads should have taught us better. Unfortunately, their generation's knowledge on what it is to be a man, and how to act like one has been diluted and corrupted by well meaning (and plenty of not so well meaning) feminists and SJW's.
[–][deleted] 2 points3 points4 points 9 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I've spent a lot of time as an adult resenting my father. This is a fair point. But in hindsight, and as I approach 30 in the next 12 months, I can't blame him. My dad is a simple man and his dad grew up an orphan and worked 80 hours a week in a factory his whole life to provide for his family. These values were instilled in my father, and he lived his best and did his best with the toolkit he was provided. Do I wish that he had figured things out? Sure. But that's a lot of men. Naive. Working hard and living up to what they're "supposed" to be. Let's be grateful that we know better now.
My takeaway: AMEN for technology, the internet and the sharing economy. The ways in which we can share experiences and information is invaluable to all of us.
Feminists were well meaning in the second wave at first, but even that got spoiled by their nature. First wave feminists were brutally racist. Third wave feminists... I don't even pay any mind to this anymore. What's the point? Getting married is like walking into a casino, and there's a reason they keep building those damn things everywhere. I date a feminist. She thinks we're going to get married and have kids, even though I've told her numerous times I will never get married. You know they all want to change us to their heart's desire. Sad for her. I'd be willing to have children one day, just never would do it with a feminist. I'm just enjoying my turn. Keep lifting.
[–]anotherent1 point2 points3 points 9 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
So true. Would have made life just a little bit easier.
[–][deleted] 6 points7 points8 points 9 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Good work, those are the moments that make you an eventual success. Not necessarily a rejection. She knows what's up now and you can move on to the next one
[–]RedditAdminsSuck_885 points6 points7 points 9 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Good job on the approach. Also good on posting a negative field report. Wish we got more of those around here, they reflect reality more.
[–]bowie7476 points7 points8 points 9 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
Wednesday night. 3 cuties chatting on the other side of the bar. Walk over and make a little small talk. "Mind if I sit down?" - "Mm yeah we do mind actually we're in the middle of something". Ouch. Whole bar saw that. No matter.
Last night. Having a cigarette out front of pub. Group of girls walk past. "Hey, where are you girls going in such a hurry?" - "Away from you" all giggle. Ouch. A few strangers saw that. No matter.
Later last night. Two girls walk past, possible IOI from one. Go over and make small talk. "Umm can you just excuse us? We're trying to enjoy ourselves". Ouch. Whole pub saw that. No matter.
Later last night, in a different area of the pub. Two cute English girls sit near us, possible IOI from one. Walk over and sit near them, make small talk. Turns out we have mutual friends. Suddenly I'm a king smooth talker, they're both laughing. I'm composed and resilient to their shit tests. They come and sit back with my mate and I. Have a good time chatting a flirting for a couple of hours. They leave and give us numbers.
1/4 ain't bad! Rejection isn't as painful as you think it's going to be. The strangers that see you get rejected would admire your courage. Even the girls who rejected you would admire your courage. Besides, you'll never see any of them again.
[–]cnzs0 points1 point2 points 9 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
That's great man but it sounds like you might be doing something kinda wrong or not reading the situation well; those were very Curt ways of rejecting you(when seen on text format...). 3 seems more like a playful shit test; 2 sounds like one of them was a bit of bitch, if the one you thought IOI'd you was the one to shut you down then w/e but if not you should have tried again with her. 1 sounds like you were trying to entertain/not making intentions clear/not creating attraction.
[–]bowie7471 point2 points3 points 9 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I'm actually going to agree that these were not great approaches. The first was my first approach in weeks and was pretty beta.
I wasn't really trying to demonstrate skill with my post, only that persistence and practice are king. Sometimes you will come off like the beta bitch that you are. The best time to start approaching was 5 years ago, the next best time is now.
[–]Andgelyo3 points4 points5 points 9 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Keep doing it. Realize that nobody really gives a shit about all this in the end. You'll be okay kid.
[–]mismm7 points8 points9 points 9 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
"You trying to get some food in the cafe right now then?"
Can anyone translate to English?
[–]Viklove9 points10 points11 points 9 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Can anyone translate this to English?
[–]dantesrage131 point2 points3 points 9 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
This type of phrase is used where I live. I was actually surprised to read it here. Just slang for "would you like to..." or "do you want to...". For example "you tryin to smoke or what man?" would translate to "hey man, want to come (outside and) have a cigarette with me?".
[+]TheNoncaringMurse-10 points-9 points-8 points 9 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Yeah this part was questionable for me too. Why the slang when you are at university aren't you supposed to sound educated? That was probably a turnoff to the girl.
[–]Senior ContributorSkorchZang2 points3 points4 points 9 years ago* (0 children) | Copy Link
Game's definitely not over yet.
If you'd like a little bit of advice, next time you're around this girl, make her a lazy but overt kinda proposition. Something like (in the middle of a bs convo with her): "hey listen...no listen, stop giggling... ever since I saw you on day one here, I can't help myself thinkin you're kinda cute...and we should grab coffee together to see if you're as fun as you look...what say you"
It's this kind of "shocking" approach you need now, something that injects overt romance and puts your balls right on the line for her to say "NO" (if she wants). The magic is that, even if she says no, she will have witnessed first hand the full gloriousness of your balls o' steel, which never fails to make an impression on a girl.
Red Pill thinking opens your mind. It's your birthright to make girls awkward, shy, giggly, blushy and tingly. This is something to relish and enjoy throughout your whole life. It absolutely doesn't matter what the girls say back, even if they all reject you 100% of the time.
Keep working on other girls too, don't let this one eclipse your entire universe.
[–]TheNoncaringMurse0 points1 point2 points 9 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Good job, you'll learn to love that second or two before she says yes or not. Just curious what country are you in?
[–]Zrex900 points1 point2 points 9 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Try to word it better next time, like "hey im going to have lunch, I heard they have rly good "random dish", wanna come ?".
that way you're making it seem like you're going there anyway and she can either come along or not. but good job OP, and i wouldnt call this a rejection .
[–][deleted] 0 points1 point2 points 9 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
You will get another chance in all likelihood. Odds are she thought about it a lot afterwards.
[–]EmSeeElRoy0 points1 point2 points 9 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Should have tried to get her number OP.
Honestly though I agree with everyone here, I wouldn't take this as a rejection. I tend to give a girl 3 chances before I completely next her. If she rejects your advances after the 3rd time you ask her out then forget about it.
[–]greatslyfer0 points1 point2 points 9 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I approached a girl on a boat... yes a freaking boat haha.
It was a small ferry ride that lasted 1-2 hours. We were all taking our seats, not all at once of course so I sat down with my family spread around a few seats here and there while we waited for the expected departure in a few minutes. Yes, you read that right, my family was pretty much close to me at all times during the ferry ride. One might think "Dude, you actually approached EVEN WITH your family possibly watching you?" and yea, honestly idgaf, I thought a girl was hot and I went for it.
She was a Korean girl, real purty and shit yea, and I was just glossing over her for about a few minutes or so till I built up the courage to go ask her out on a date. I was getting VERY nervous as one would expect, and was basically forcing myself to go ask her out. How? I said to myself "I'm going to count down from 20. When I'm done with 1, I'm going." Notice how there weren't any more thoughts after the "I'm going." part. Basically to not let any negative thoughts have an opportunity to form in my brain and fuck up my action taking.
"5...4..." Oh shit. "3...2..." Umm.... "1" No thoughts here, I just fucking winged it mate haha.
Stood up, went towards her, bent down in a fucking awkward position, and tapped her shoulder.
The rest was her basically having a hard time talking English, so we pretty much just blanked it after a minute or so of talking.
But hey, at least I'm more confident now when approaching women :)
[–]LongSchlongAIDS0 points1 point2 points 9 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
In my old beta ways, I already know what I would have done. I would have simply sat behind the girl and fantasized about her the whole semester. The last day of class I would watch her walk out the classroom for the last time and think "What if I had asked her out?".
Haha, that hits home. One thing I've noticed by following the Red Pill's advice is that I don't have to fantasize because I am able to just ask and face rejection.
By the way, that wasn't a solid no because you didn't ask her directly. Ask her to go out for coffee or the park of something. You still got a chance.
This is what TRP is made for. Gold post, well written. Good for you mate. Now nail one of her friends!
[–]SeeThisThrough0 points1 point2 points 9 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
My first approach was on a girl who regularly came into the place I was working at. I eventually stopped asking for her number and just gave her mine and told her to call me sometime. She texted me that same day and I set up a time to meet up.
On our first date she told me that she had a crush on me after I had asked for her number the first time, but was too nervous to let me know. ALMOST A YEAR HAD PASSED and she never forgot that initial approach.
The time between I was working on game so the first date was just like any other, but hearing that she had been trying to figure out a way to ask me out for a year was kind of a surprise. After that reveal, closing the deal was a cakewalk
Just thought I'd share cause you never know what that first interaction will turn into later down the road
Highly suggest not having them make a decision on the spot, can be too much pressure.
Asking for a later meet up time will do better for you. Good luck!
[–]Zchavago-1 points0 points1 point 9 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
You gotta feel something, bro. I mean you're not like 40 years old.
[–]WadKnock-1 points0 points1 point 9 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
boi i can't wait to go to college and be able to meet new people that will hate me for being a self loathing asshole
[–]mrbluesdude0 points1 point2 points 9 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
With an attitude like that, you're on the right track.
[–]Gay4Pancakes points points points 9 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link
A couple things. One, this was cringey. Two, you didn't really ask her out. Three, you obviously did feel something. Don't lie to yourself. Four, just be cool around her and ask her out again if you like her. Wait until you know she's into you. If she ain't into you, you got bigger problems.
[–]gamermainer6 points7 points8 points 9 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
What the hell are you talking about? You should read more redpill before giving advice on here.
[–]cleanstreetwear3 points4 points5 points 9 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Its only cringey if you make it cringey. Its not what you say, it's how you say it.
He attempted to set up alone time with her, pretty much the same thing.
The only thing he should be feeling is the freedom of not feeling anything.
A girl that isn't into you isn't a problem at all. Move on to the next one.
[+]Djbbst-17 points-16 points-15 points 9 years ago (12 children) | Copy Link
No problem is a beta response. You are still thinking beta. Should have said your loss. Or just laugh and walk off.
[–][deleted] 13 points14 points15 points 9 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
ehh "your loss" sounds insecure and worse than no problem imo.
[–]Djbbst0 points1 point2 points 9 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Psychology. Learn it. No problem reinforces their frame. Your loss reinforces YOUR frame that you are the valuable one.
[–]gamermainer2 points3 points4 points 9 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
"Your loss" is a pouting beta bitch response. He did good with "no problem" because it isn't.
[–]Djbbst0 points1 point2 points 9 years ago* (0 children) | Copy Link
You are assuming it being said in a pouting tone. Read what I posted again, I said laughing tone.
Saying your loss in a laughing or happy way implies you are very high value and you are out of her league. Your value > her value.
Imagine you ask a stranger, do you want 1000 dollars no strings attached. Free.
They say, No, because blah blah excuse.
You say no problem. They think, oh good thing I declined because it was probably fake or something. You are reinforcing their decision to reject you.
Now, this time, you say Wow! Your loss haha! Or another witty response in a laughing/happy tone.
That reinforces the idea that the other person made a mistake in saying no. The other person is of lower value.
One main part of being a beta that will keep being rejected in life is your LANGUAGE and body language. Approaching is a tiny aspect of the whole pie. Keep improving!
[–][deleted] 5 points6 points7 points 9 years ago (5 children) | Copy Link
No problem implies he doesn't feel any sort of way about it because he has options and, as such, the outcome of this interaction is of little consequence, or of no problem, to him and his frame.
[–]Djbbst0 points1 point2 points 9 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link
No no no... wrong
Let's ask the Boss for a salary raise. Hey Boss, I work really hard, increased sales 50%, always on time. I deserve a raise. I got an offer for X, can you beat it?
Boss says, no raise. And actually we are going to cut your salary in half.
Your reply?
No problem. I'll keep working like a bitch for worse pay. No problem, I love being paid less for more work. No problem!
No problem is BETA. Lose that phrase from your vocabulary. Please.
[–][deleted] 1 point2 points3 points 9 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
you could just as easily say, "ok, ill go work for company X then" and walk away. the abundance gives you the option to choose your path
[–][deleted] 0 points1 point2 points 9 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
No, the point is you can go work somewhere else for more money because abundance. Hence, when your boss says no, you actually so "OK, no problem. But I have to leave now because my economic value in this market is higher than you can afford." It isn't personal. Maybe your boss can't afford the raise. Maybe the girl really is studying and can't get lunch. You don't take it personal because you have other options and/or productive things you can be doing.
Abundance. Read the side bar.
[–]Djbbst0 points1 point2 points 9 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Abundance of beta thinking.
I'm not arguing against abundance theory. I actually agree with it so I don't know why you are lecturing me on this.
My point is saying "no problem" is BETA.
You're a troll, clearly.
You give no reasoning for why no problem is a beta response. Meanwhile, "Your loss" is as blue pill nice guy as it gets, dude. Get a grip.
[–]Oz70NYC-4 points-3 points-2 points 9 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Agreed. The idea is to be bold and assertive. Laughing and walking off without any further acknowledgment plants the idea in her head that maybe she's not your only option. Couple that with openly chatting up other hotties and even some not so hotties around campus reinforces that notion. So now the next time she sees you, she's saying to herself "damn, maybe I shouldn't have said no".
BOOM! You're now the prize. She knows you have options of who to go balls deep in, and she'll go out of her way to insure she's at the top of the list. Abundance theory at it's finest. Pretty soon you'll have a harem of college cuties vying for your attention. Bare in mind you're not going to hit a home run everytime. But when word goes around the female social circles that you're one of the guys bold enough to make the first move, eventually they're going to start saying "yes" rather then timidly slinking away.
You're the hunter. They're the prey. Remember that, young wolf.
[–]Djbbst-1 points0 points1 point 9 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Agree 100% with everything you said. Looks like TRP is filled with betas saying no problem when being rejected. No problem, keep rejecting me. No problem, I'm a dumb beta not worth your time. Lol
No problem is a beta response. The meaning is the other person is in control of the situation. The alpha has people telling them no problem. Alphas don't tell other people no problem. So essentially saying no problem is putting her on a pedestal. Come on guys, horrible advice here in the comments.
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