Friendzone, explained from a female perspective, on Quora

Saturnalia93 · 2014-09-07T02:23:59+00:00

The "1.) Heartache" section should in theory be enough to shut the mouth of anyone who spouts bullshit about "men objectifying women". I've never read anyone so carelessly describe the process of turning someone into a commodity and not giving a fuck.

Don't be Fred, guys.

Silverbacked · 2014-09-07T04:24:02+00:00

Fingers crossed for Fred finding TRP before it's too late.

raceAround126 · 2014-09-07T08:20:31+00:00

Damn. That story was brutal. Especially the last line:

"He goes home and watches porn and imagines making a woman do whatever he tells her to do sexually and there's nothing she can do about it."

LOL. I bet Fred didn't even know such a thing would be possible. But the girl who wrote this knows.

AWALT!

HAMMURABl · 2014-09-07T06:44:25+00:00

don't you sometimes feel glad you know TRP?

you can sit back and laugh at fred's stupidity, knowing that this won't ever occur to you (again).

-Tyler_Durden- · 2014-09-13T08:38:00+00:00

Here's the post in question if you don't want to click the link:

Have you ever fallen in love with your one best friend at any point in time? You must have fallen in love with your best friend once (not mandatory that all would have) and realized later that it won't work and left that love there and continued with your friendship.

I just want to know ""What character/personality in her/him or any incident made you to love her/him for an instant?"

Later both of you might have become lovers and then husband/wife :). That's a different Happy story. If you are willing to share that also, please go ahead! Comments3

Becky's AnswerView All 97 Answers Becky LeeBecky Lee, Second rate broad, bartender, ... (more) 16 upvotes by Chris Bish, Chrys Jordan, Jason Nordberg, (more) Actually, you CAN develop feelings of love for someone who was previously a close friend.

Let's just call this guy "Friendzone Fred"

However, these feelings are often tied into the following motivating factors, in a percentage of these situations.

1) HEARTACHE

Your self esteem has taken a major blow. You've been rejected, or cheated, or called names by someone you cared for...

You crave reassurance, comfort, and safety.

Friendzone Fred would appreciate you, because he knows you so well and still wants you... He thinks everything you do is awesome... He brings over stuff to cook dinner together and watch movies and play scrabble....

His heart beats fast when you sit next to him, and yet he never tries to get sexual because he respects your wishes...

You recognize the sexual tension, and harmlessly flirt with him because he loves feeding your ego and it's innocent fun.

2)LONELINESS

You haven't met anyone cool in a while... You are getting lonely... You start spending more time with Friendzone Fred because Friendzone Fred is always messaging you first, and coming round to ask you to go fun places or spend time together.

The time you spend with Fred is easy... Laid back.... You don't feel nervous around him and you don't care if he see you looking like complete and utter shit in your sweatpants because it's "just Fred"

You can be yourself around Friendzone Fred, and you never fight because you never cared. You never worry that he may not like you anymore... You don't worry if he doesn't text back immediately... You don't feel jealous if you talk about exes and crushes and sex with Freddy... Because he isn't your BF.

You start to think that dating is too much work... Heartache sucks and isn't worth the risk... And maybe you DO want a guy that you can be yourself around, like Friendzone Fred.

Maybe Fred has been the guy for you all along!!

3) Thirst for ROMANCE

Friendzone Fred has loved you from the sidelines, through countless shitty relationships.

Freddy is madly in love with you. All Freddy's friends and family know you, and know that you are his dream girl...

You get caught up in the Romantic situation of bestowing your love upon him, after all this time.... You have the power to completely make or break Fred.

You love the adorable story factor of "realizing I loved my best friend" And the romance in feeling that he is your true destiny--

After all, he KNEW you were meant for eachother and he loved you so much he WAITED for you to realize it...

You imagine chasing after his motorcycle in the rain.. "Come back! Freddy! It's you! It's always been you"(kiss-kiss-kiss)

4) YOU WANT TO BE A QUEEN

Friendzone Fred has wiped away your tears for years, and told you how you deserve the best out of life....

Freddy is so sweet and and such a nice guy.... You think, "I want to find a nice guy like Fred"

Fred would drop everything an be there for me, Fred pampers me, Fred opens the door for me and pays the tab because he is a gentleman, even though we are just friends....

My parents Love Fred! He fixed my grandmas garbage disposal before he took me to that out of town alcohol free wedding I asked him to go to since my boyfriend didn't feel like going...

He checked my tire pressure, changed my oil, and bought all the gas just to be nice!

Fred is Husband material!!

In fact, I'm kinda ready to settle down with a guy who will treat me the way I deserve! That guy should be Fred!

Sadly, in many many cases, the woman realizes shortly after entering into a relationship with Fred that she jumped too soon.

She tries to force feelings that she WISHES were there, because they just aren't.

She feels that she sacrificed love for comfort. She goes from a desperation to be LOVED to having a desperation to BE IN LOVE.

She can't help it that while she loves Freddy, it just isn't there.....

Often times it takes just a few short months or meeting a guy who takes her breath away, before she tells Fred she made a mistake.

But she knows Freindzone Fred will understand and forgive- he just wants her to be happy, and like he always says, the friendship means more to him than anything.

Friendzone Freddy takes the rejection like a gentleman.

He goes home and watches porn and imagines making a woman do whatever he tells her to do sexually and there's nothing she can do about it.

PersianDj · 2014-09-07T05:12:12+00:00

Fred is a stupid motherfucker. If she will just string you along , detach yourself from her.Its that simple.

Guys put themselves in this situation, its not the girl's fault.

trudatness · 2014-09-07T13:43:24+00:00

They absolutely know.

All this static on reddit about how the FZ doesn't real is total manipulative lying female bullshit.

ShinyBrah · 2014-09-07T10:17:51+00:00

I was like Fred once upon a time. It got to the point where one of our friends straight up told me I was her bitch. I know not to repeat this mistake again though, NEVER "friend" your way into a relationship/sex.

Luckily it makes sense now thanks to you all.

jakethesnake76 · 2014-09-07T03:45:10+00:00

So how long before Friendzone Fred is a regular in the Dead Bedroom forum?? After the Alphas are through with her what scraps does Leftovers Fred get??

SariaLystra · 2014-09-07T04:50:37+00:00

This post is amazing. It literally admits that women are actually stupid selfish hypocrites. And I say that literally and not as a diatribe.

The woman is "stupid" because her actions are characterized by a lack of thinking. She relies entirely on feelings and not her brain.

"She can't help it that while she loves Freddy, it just isn't there....." (she acts on feelings even though every thing she wants is right in front of her) "She tries to force feelings that she WISHES were there, because they just aren't." (again feelings dictate her action)

The woman is "selfish" because she only is concerned about herself and thinks of Fred as a prop.

"Fred would drop everything an be there for me, Fred pampers me, Fred opens the door for me and pays the tab because he is a gentleman, even though we are just friends...."

"In fact, I'm kinda ready to settle down with a guy who will treat me the way I deserve! That guy should be Fred! "(She recognizes that Fred should be the man but instead ignores him)

The woman is a hypocrite in that the woman says one thing but does another.

Remember your AF/BB and you'll be golden.

TheOpposingView · 2014-09-07T16:57:11+00:00

...can we sidebar this?

I never even considered how a girl could perceive the friendzone as her exerting a positive feeling on the guy. That line "he loves to boost your ego"...

Holy shit. The way she talks about him...this is so much uglier and more objectifying than almost anything I have ever read a man say about a woman.

We may objectify women's bodies, but women objectify our souls.

ShagggyDog · 2014-09-07T05:39:58+00:00

It was good to hear the truth from the blue side. The sad truth is that I think reading it would actually make the poor Fred happy and hopeful with tears of joy in his beta eyes that he has a chance to be chosen someday! Even for a minute, before "the love of his life" gathers her confidence for her next alpha... I felt sad for all the poor Freds out there.

cagethepepper · 2014-09-07T10:33:15+00:00

Damn, Fred's got some blue balls.

Amorevolous · 2014-09-07T15:41:13+00:00

There is no better glass to help you choke down TRP than this fucking article. It's painful to read, but it really opens your eyes and makes you realize that you need to have some God damn self respect.

riding_stoned · 2014-09-07T16:21:44+00:00

Damn, that was a brutal read. I wanted to hate her for writing all that, but I kept telling myself "don't shoot the messenger": it's all true.

There's a line in WC's song, the streets, that goes "I don't conversate with chicks I aint gonna hit". Mike Tyson once expressed the same sentiment to a female reporter.

Although they're both expressing the concept crudely, there's truth in those statements.

I see men lavishing attention on women who give nothing in return and it seems pathetic and weak-headed to me. You're a man! Be strong, you call the shots!

I'm married now. The only women I give time and attention to are my wife, my mother, and my daughters. So satisfying.

The next woman I spend any time, attention, and women on will be my second wife.

[deleted] · 2014-09-07T16:26:11+00:00

Painful. Just painful.

"Often times it takes just a few short months or meeting a guy who takes her breath away, before she tells Fred she made a mistake."

j-pHil · 2014-09-07T16:29:07+00:00

So basically out if desperation.

ferrum_cadmiae · 2014-09-07T16:23:05+00:00

Is there a linking/archive service for Quora? Because, fuck Quora, that's why.

Rogerdodger1985 · 2014-09-07T04:57:27+00:00

I got to the second point (to be honest that Shit was so bad I don't even remember what that particular point was) and I stopped reading this fucking drivel.

The bestoy your love on him bit...wow pure unadulterated arrogance. Fucking self centered egotistical princess arrogance.

This author needs to get checked (as in I hope life levels you down a few pegs because if you think so highly of yourself for no other reason then your main job is to write on the internet.) Fuck. You.

ShinyBrah · 2014-09-07T06:38:37+00:00

Proof that assholes may have fun with her now, but the nice guy wins her in the end.

Title	Friendzone, explained from a female perspective, on Quora
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	67
Comments	54
Date	September 7, 2014 2:16 AM UTC (11 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/TheRedPill
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/TheRedPill/comments/2foqv7/friendzone_explained_from_a_female_perspective_on/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/TheRedPill/friendzone-explained-from-a-female-perspective-on.228302 https://theredarchive.com/post/228302