Guide for better 1-on-1 conversations - begginner/intermediate

drallcom3 · 2017-03-13T17:42:51+00:00

For opening a conversation: Pretend you've already been talking for hours and she's an old friend anyway. Women are very good at picking up a conversation, even if you start right in the middle.

richpanda1 · 2017-03-13T16:24:45+00:00

Great write up. This shit is really obvious but it's clear TRP attracts a lot of men who have very little/zero social skills, so great idea.

EveryoneIsGod · 2017-03-13T14:51:36+00:00

This RP shit is straight up gold! It's great to learn new stuff everyday and it's also great to realise how much you already know and have been doing forever without knowing about "game" and RP.

10/10 post.

yayaja67 · 2017-03-13T13:30:42+00:00

This was useful and helpful, thank you.

phareux · 2017-03-13T17:20:32+00:00

Can you write one up about how to interact with guy friends and girl friends and just people in general.

abc69 · 2017-03-14T23:01:12+00:00

Why the fuck do mods keep deleting content here, anyways here is the removed comment backup copy mirror:

I’ve seen a lot of posts on here regarding this or that interaction and how it played out and, for better or worse outcome from OP, there are a lot of people in the comments section asking about the best way to get a good conversation going with women they’re interested in.

This isn’t a difficult question in and of itself but giving it a decent answer relies heavily on context, so rather than give specifics I’ve compiled some bullet points that I personally believe are really valuable – they’re not all specifically about speaking - if you agree with these then that’s great and if not then drop a comment and I’ll try to reply.

So….

1.- If it’s you opening the interaction, do not appear apologetic. Most men focus overmuch on not being shy or on seeming confident but can sometimes veer into excited waffling, or excusing themselves or, worse, over-qualifying the reason they initiated the conversation and trying to compensate by doing it in a manly voice with a disinterested expression and their legs spread out so wide it looks like they’re doing yoga.

2.- Do not focus at all on your appearance when you are speaking to someone, if you’re thinking “Jesus, she’s so hot and I look like this then you’re done for.” Get out of your own head when speaking to other people, period.

3.- If you happen to be holding something, like a drink, hold it at your waist and not up to your chest – this is a psychological indicator of tension and a physical barrier.

4.- You’re opener should be context specific, I can’t really give an example here but whilst you shouldn’t be fawning or overly-polite you should aim for civility or for playful banter/flirting.

5.- When she’s speaking to you don’t nod your head like a dog at everything she says.

6.- Stand still; stationary but not stiff, loose but not slouching – I’ve seen men burning more calories because they were jumping around excitedly whilst talking to a hot girl than I’ve managed to burn off myself at the gym. Seriously it’s really annoying, makes you look nervous and just rips you open for people wanting to muscle in on the interaction and tool you.

7.- Maintain intense eye contact when she’s speaking, glancing away occasionally so that you don’t end up staring. When you’re speaking punctuate it with sweeping gazes around the room or the area you’re in.

8.- Mind your facial expressions whilst she’s speaking – you don’t want to be broadly smiling like a simple asshole and you don’t want to be crushing your brow with intensity as she tells you what her favourite brand of shampoo is. Slight smile, brow slightly furrowed/raised depending on what she’s saying, slow nods or ‘mmms’ to acknowledge that you’re listening.

9.- Speak slowly and in a deep voice. We all should know this one by now and we all know someone that can’t do this and ends up sounding like he’s going to go blasting through the ceiling any moment now.

10.- Talking of speech and facial expressions; make sure you transition slowly from expression to expression as well. It can seem incongruent with the rest of your demeanour if you’re face looks ‘set’ and not relaxed or you’re contorting your face too quickly.

11.- Now for the deeper stuff – generally speaking you should start off a conversation in a light-hearted and fun way, teasing her, letting her probe and ask you questions. But you should always keep your answers shorter than hers and always turn the conversation back onto her. LAME example: HER: ‘Yeah I try to exercise as much as I can, I see you’re in great shape from doing boxing, is it really difficult?’ YOU: ‘Yeah, you know it’s tough but really rewarding too. So which gym do you go to?’

12.- When discussing interests if she happens to mention an activity that you too enjoy, like say “I enjoy writing fiction and really want to create my own novel one day.” Don’t just jump in and be like “No way! Me too!” just make a mental note and tie it into how you’re developing yourself later on. Don’t just constantly affirm what she says, flirting/seduction isn’t a box ticking exercise or a constant path of affirmation.

13.- It’s fine to compliment her but don’t overdo it and keep it simple yet poignant and don’t double-down on it; Nice necklace – I really like how it matches your eyes – It’s just really elegant and cool – You’re so fashionable! (Just ONE will do!)

14.- Do not under any circumstances, no matter how busy the environment you are in, keep diverting your attention from her to other things and other people. Maintain ‘circle’ with her and don’t let anyone interrupt, just because someone wants to come and stand near you doesn’t mean they’ve got a right to your attention and you shouldn’t be shifting about trying to get out of everyone else’s way (if you’re somewhere busy) and if you can’t manage that then suggest moving – which you totally should do anyway because to lead her is a very powerful tool in seduction.

15.- Once you’ve established familiarity with her you should start asking more probing questions, without putting her on the spot, so things like “What are your passions?” or questions about travel, favourite novels, people she finds inspiring etc – those should all be cool for most people. You might know this as “deep diving”

16.- If all is going well from the above then you should escalate constantly: a. Let’s grab another drink b. Let’s go sit over here out of the way c. I know another bar we can go to where you get more space d. Why don’t you come back to mine? It’s only down the road and I’ve got some drinks in.

17.- Finally and most importantly – talk to as many women as you can, today, no excuses, go do it. The more you normalise it the easier and less daunting it becomes. No man that is successful with women is anxious about speaking to women.

This may well be me re-inventing the wheel but it isn’t common knowledge in the real world and even though TRP is golden there are some new guys who might benefit from my post.

FlucKk · 2017-03-13T18:52:45+00:00

I am annoyed as i can't think about all this while talking. Is it just me or do you guys feel the same way ? If not, how do you manage keeping track of a conversation and still take the time to think about all this ?

Gemlee · 2017-03-13T23:16:04+00:00

The way I internalized this when I had zero social skills was to imagine myself doing it, and then emulating it irl. For me keeping track of all these tips at the moment was confusing and tiring, so yeah I just made this mental image of me doing this stuff ("How would I look like holding a drink at my waist while keeping eye contant?") and then just copying that imaginary "model" later. I know this is borderline autistic but it helped a lot. That's my 5 cents.

Babak245 · 2017-03-13T17:27:03+00:00

For point 11, what would be a good example of keeping the conversation going?

kutie-pie · 2017-03-13T18:38:42+00:00

great post, thanks for sharing! to clarify point 14..could you subtly look around for other prospects in case the one you're opening doesnt work out?

ep1939 · 2017-03-13T21:22:27+00:00

This feels more like pua stuff than red pill.

Anyway, there's one important thing missing here: physical escalation.

It's what makes you different than a friend.

Zoad22 · 2017-03-13T23:31:05+00:00

This is exactly something I needed. Thanks for posting!

ndrew47 · 2017-03-14T00:14:00+00:00

A write up for group settings would be equally as helpful.

BlueCollarAsshole · 2017-03-14T00:42:03+00:00

I'm actually fine one-on-one. It's group dynamics that can throw me for a loop sometimes. Like a complex puzzle.

wow_wow01 · 2017-03-14T02:36:21+00:00

what if you're awkward af and can never think of things to say or questions to ask?

2017-03-13T19:04:33+00:00

[permanently deleted]

juunnioorrr · 2017-03-13T19:34:33+00:00

This is great!! One thing I've run into is sounding like you are interviewing the person. And that's usually a good sign that there's no interest from the other end. So if you keep asking different questions during the interaction without her asking something in return, it's a pretty good sign that she is not interested.

yenmeng · 2017-03-14T00:59:56+00:00

Quality post, really puts into perspective what I was already doing that worked and what didn't. Much appreciated.

Ismoketomuch · 2017-03-14T02:10:21+00:00

Best thing I ever read on this damn sub, dont know where or when, was to just treat all women your interested in like your own daughter/niece.

Bear with me here, girls want a daddy figure in a general sense, so just talk to women like they are a 10 year old. Not in the sense they are ignorant but that their wants for approval and desire to be taken care of and cared about are things you tend and acknowledge when things are going well.

Tease them like a little kid, pat their heads when they are cute and tell them they are cute. Scold them when they get out of line. Put them in their place if needed, but generally just be nice and interested.

You dont expect your 10 year old niece or nephew to engage with your as an adult at a family gathering do you? No you just walk up to them and start talking to them, get on their level and hit up some subjects they look like they might be into.

"Hey Jenny, how are you doing? I like your pretty dress, did you pick that out?, oops, looks like you got some food on it."

A woman pretty much masters her game at 10 years old and it rarely evolves past that. How can you lose a game of chess to a 10 year old?

drawingroomgentleman · 2017-03-14T14:06:55+00:00

In case anyone else is wondering, this appears to have been removed due to OP editing in an internal site link to his next post "How To Build Lasting Confidence and Change Your Life For the Better."

armadyllll · 2017-03-15T14:42:20+00:00

WTF why did this get removed. Please repost it

celloist · 2017-03-17T21:44:13+00:00

Hey it got deleted can you maybe copy paste it for me?

Title	Guide for better 1-on-1 conversations - begginner/intermediate
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	601
Comments	69
Date	March 13, 2017 8:08 AM UTC (9 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/TheRedPill
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/TheRedPill/comments/5z3v11/guide_for_better_1on1_conversations/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/TheRedPill/guide-for-better-1-on-1-conversations.41702 https://theredarchive.com/post/41702

Comments