How NEXTs work: A user friendly guide.

Robster25 · 2019-02-10T09:51:24+00:00

As much as I agree with you on the definitions of hard/soft next, I have to disagree with you on the purpose of nexting. You don't next girls as a punishment, but more out of respect for yourself. She should not matter. Let's take your example and say that she called the cops on you for no reason: You hard next her, because you don't want to stay in contact with someone who tries to ruin your life, not as a punishment for her behaviour. Your focus should lie on you: Shall I waste my time with someone who tries to ruin my life? Of course not. Why bother with her behaviour, it is your life.

Thus I have to disagree with your second point, too: You don't need to fuck a girl/have her emotionally invested in you, to next her. Again, the focus lies on you. Do you want to tolerate bad behaviour? No. What she thinks does not matter.

SeasonedRP · 2019-02-09T23:02:44+00:00

These are good observations. One thing I'd add to the hard nexting section (or maybe there is another term for what I'm talking about). A key part of RP is learning to recognize IOIs and, as a corollary, learning to recognize when a woman isn't interested. I keep seeing posts on ATRP where guys repeatedly pester girls who clearly aren't interested. A girl cancels a date because she has to wash her hair and doesn't give an alternative, and the guy will ask something like "gee, her workplace has a lot of dust so her hair probably really did need to be washed, and she must be interested because she smiled and told me I was funny, so what should I say in the next 10 texts I plan to send begging for a date?" Or similar questions when the girl has shown extreme disrespect and the guy asks how best to fix things by contacting her.

For guys like this who are tempted to keep contacting girls after they have shown clear disinterest or disrespect, delete their numbers and remove them from social media so that you eliminate the temptation to embarrass yourself and learn to move on to better prospects. I don't know if it's called hard nexting or something else, but a number of people would be wise to follow this practice.

omega_dawg93 · 2019-02-10T23:18:03+00:00

when you next her, don't get mad/upset/jealous if the #1 orbiter finally gets to fuck her.

and sometimes, girls intentionally act-up so you can next her... to give her the chance to fuck orbiter #1 (best branch swing candidate) and not feel guilty about it as she satisfies her curiosity. "you drove me to him," is what you'll hear IF...IF YOU EVER FIND OUT.

orbiters love the word, "next." it has dual meaning to them... the first is, she's being 'handled' and/or punished, and it also means, he's next in line to finally cash-in.

when you pull your TAR (time, attention, resources) away from a woman by nexting her, it needs to be something she values... bc she does value that more than your dick. the thought of you fucking another woman might make her jealous, but the thought of another woman getting your TAR will make her furious.

boy_named_su · 2019-02-10T02:51:52+00:00

Thank you. I usually recommend this sort of stuff in my comments, but some of the dummies here just don't get it

Synthetic_Citizen · 2019-02-11T10:10:25+00:00

One well known characteristic of people who suffer from narcissistic personality disorder is the tendency to create their own reality with words. They believe that they can talk anything into existence, and rewrite the past simply by asserting it with their words.

However, in order to solidify their fabricated reality they need an audience to convince and manipulate, the more impressionable the audience the better. The audience can be one person or many, and the audience does not neccesarily need to buy into the lies, as long as the audience is engaged and/or negotiating the narcissist can shout and scream their faux reality into existence and believe their own lies. They are not trying to convince the audience, they are trying to convince themselves, the audience is simply a catalyst.

IF THE AUDIENCE DOES NOT ENGAGE THE NARCISSITS CAN NOT CREATE THEIR OWN REALITY

Like a writers pen and parchment, if there is no pen the writer has no means to solidify his creation. This is why so called soft nexting is so effective, when you withdraw attention as punishment you deprive them of the opportunity to rationalize their innocence with their words. Some will commit an offense blatantly and wait for you to confront them about it, to manipulate you into engaging them they will use any means. If you ignore their baiting and withdraw your attention as punishment they are left with nothing but their own thoughts and will eventually have no choice but to accept the reality of their offenses.

The narc will of course try to convince others of their fabricated reality but they will know that they can not fool you and will have to comply with your version of reality if they want to continue association with you.

Narcissism is basically adults who are children mentally, they have an extremely low self esteem and are dependant on others to maintain their self image. They need constant validation and will do anything for attention, the result of either receiving to much or too little attention when the were young. The bad news is they will never grow up.

Everybody has the ability to rationalize, but women being far more verbal than men are more inclined to do so. It is called hamstering in this sub, but it is one and the same.

In this day and age of feelings over facts, victimhood glorification and safe space politics men are becoming more and more feminine. As such more men are starting to develop their hamster.

AshyLarry27 · 2019-02-11T12:23:31+00:00

Well done.

I had a plate break after about 4 years of fucking maybe only 3-4x a year (busy with grad school, and grad girls). I could sense it was dwindling down, probably found a guy that would settle for her. Would setup logistics, very strait forward, and she would respond to that. I started noticing a different demeanor in her texts last year, like telling me how she's busy that night, but not the usual "sorry can't" or an attempt to reschedule. In the past, she would respond to soft nexting. When I waited out a month to try again, got the same general response. She types a lot, detail, implying maybe there was something still there, but the lack of an apology for being too busy along with no attempt to reschedule was all I needed to be realistic about where she stood. SN'ing was obviously no longer a punishment and that is where you bow out. She still watches my snap chat stories every once in a blue moon when I post them, still posted me a happy birthday, and I could reach for this before I found this place. I know better now though.

New guys tend to read bits and pieces of the sidebar, develop a big ego from the new "edgy shit" they read here, and all of a sudden go out talking to girls like their shit doesn't stink, not realizing you can't SN what was never interested in you in the first place. Hopefully those at askTRP are reading this guide.

SmamelessMe · 2019-02-10T13:33:11+00:00

Nexting is moving your attention onto the next. Full stop.

The other arbitrary rules and requirements you invented in your post are useless at best, and pedantic semantics at worst.

Infla-mood · 2019-02-10T11:46:07+00:00

You define next however you want. Next to me means "on to the next girl." As in, I will let this one go and focus on the next one. This isn't working? Next!

oooKenshiooo · 2019-02-10T16:47:14+00:00

There is no soft nexting.

Either you next, or you don't.

"Soft nexting" is behavior modification training and should be the counterbalance to positve reinforcement (that is: giving her attention).

Title	How NEXTs work: A user friendly guide.
Author	AloofusMaximus
Upvotes	73
Comments	18
Date	February 9, 2019 5:09 PM UTC (7 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/TheRedPill
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/TheRedPill/comments/aou7jj/how_nexts_work_a_user_friendly_guide/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/TheRedPill/how-nexts-work-a-user-friendly-guide.218395 https://theredarchive.com/post/218395

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