I've been reading TRP for quite a months, been posting a bit as well. It's been quite an eye opener, went through denial, grief, anger, etc.

Thing is, I've never been "alpha". I have never been full beta either, but whenever I fell for a girl I'd turn into a complete beta pussy who hardly got any action. I fell into the old trap of thinking that doing everything for a chick would make her open her legs for me (it didn't work the first 4 times, what was I thinking?). Basically, Michael's Story in the side bar seemed like a more detailed, yet eerily similar version of my experience. My experience had gotten me to the point where I resented and greatly mistrusted chicks before I even found TRP. My (single)mother even mentioned to me a few times that she hopes the woman I will marry won't have me under her thumb. Thanks to TRP, I can't see it happening anymore, not even marriage.

Thing is, in the past year, everything has changed for us. We got a pretty decent inheritance with more money than I could hope to make in my lifetime. We're investing that money into property in order to create a continuous flow of income and hopefully live with less worries than ever before. I am very grateful for it. However, it has also caused me to panic about women a bit.

Like I said, I'm not alpha. I am not in the top 10%-20% banging most of the chicks. I'd say I'm decent looking but terrible with women. I've been trying to change that, of course, but I have a lot less experience with women than my peers. You can probably guess what I'm getting at: I'm terrified that women will notice that I have money and will fake interest in me for a meal ticket for life. This begs the question: can women truly love a man, or are we just disposable ATM machines? I think I know the answer, and it's depressing.

Hypergamy is very real. I've seen it. I have a family member who was raised by a true gold digger. She's the kind of girl who will buy designer sweaters for several hundred dollars. She's not even that good looking. She snagged a guy from a rich family. Of course, much richer than I could be, his family own a big company and he often goes to different countries due to his work. I met him once, and although I didn't have long conversations with him, he came off as a total beta. And from what I hear, she wears the pants all. The. Time.

I don't want to be a fraction of that excuse of a man.

Because of TRP and my situation, I'm considering two options: either become alpha, or go MGTOW. I find the latter easy enough as I can't trust women, but the former quite challenging. I accept that I may never be alpha until I'm in my mid to late 30s.

TRP, what would you recommend? What can I expect to happen? What should I be wary of?