Summary: Confidence is not a "special" state of being. For the self-respecting man, confidence is the DEFAULT state of being. Let's talk about all the ways we can channel & focus the innate confidence that flows through all self-respecting men. Let's talk about how to become relaxed and comfortable.

How to Focus your Innate Confidence

The "Alpha" of any situation is always the person who is the most relaxed and comfortable: The person who needs the other people the least. The person who is the MOST skilled at focusing their innate confidence.

To become the "Alpha" of any situation, you only need to ask yourself one question:

How can I become the most relaxed and comfortable person in this situation?

Obviously the biggest thing you can do is to lift. If you're comfortable in your own skin, you are already probably the most comfortable person in any situation, because most people don't excercise and thus don't feel comfortable in their own skin.

Another thing is breathing. Try the 478 technique. I use it to go to sleep every night, it works like a fucking charm. I also use it any time I want to be extra relaxed and comfortable (about four or five times a day).

You always wanna wear comfortable, well-fitting clothes. I don't care too much about how my clothes look, because that does not really help me feel comfortable and relaxed. I only care about how my clothes FEEL on my body. I also hate wearing excess layers, I pretty much wanna be as close to naked as possible at all times. I enjoy the sensations of wind & sun. (I've found its always the Betas who "layer up" with a shirt + flannel + jacket. It's like they live in a little protective shell of hipster clothing. Personally, I don't require any protective shell.)

You always want to be mindful of your body language. Try to bare your chest 100% of the time. Never put your arms in front of your chest. If you are wondering what to do with your arms, simply cross them behind you in a military-esque pose. This will keep you totally relaxed and other people will subconsciously become aware that you are comfortable/relaxed enough to bare your chest without a second thought (thus being physically vulnerable to attack). In this way, vulnerability can be alpha as fuck. Baring your chest is the simplest and subtlest way to non-verbally communicate the fact that you are confident you can handle any attack.

You always want to stretch. If you feel limber and flexible, you feel comfortable. If you feel tight and stiff, you don't.

You always want to speak from your balls. Most people make the erroneous assumption that the brain and the body are separate things. Thus, when they speak, they are speaking from the perspective of their BRAINS, and they completely neglect to give their testicles what their testicles crave. You know better: the mind and the body are one and the same. Don't pretend they're not. Speak from the perspective of your balls.

You always want to allow yourself to be REactive at times. Being proactive with your career and shit is good, but being reactive within social situations (at certain times) is also essential. In any interaction, there will be one person who is spending more energy than the other. You want to be the guy who is spending the LEAST amount of energy. An "amused mastery" attitude creates a vacuum of energy because it's a REACTIVE state, and nature abhors a vacuum... When you adopt "amused mastery" and start REACTING instead of being 100% proactive, people instinctively fill the energy void that your behavior creates, and they start proactively seeking your approval.

A big part of being relaxed is knowing your environment. If you are the guy who simply knows the most people in the environment you're in, you often find that you're the Alpha (aka "the most relaxed guy in the situation") without even trying. The best advice here is simple: "Open all." Instead of approaching and opening JUST the women you wanna fuck, approach and open EVERYONE, and then let the women FRANTICALLY TRY TO FIGURE OUT which of them you want to fuck. By opening everyone, you make yourself a complete mystery, because people instinctively assume a few things:

  • you have higher social proof than them, and are thus more valuable than they are
  • your agenda is simply HAVING FUN, and you are really good at it.

Lessons learned:

  • Alpha means being confident, and being confident means being relaxed and comfortable.
  • Lifting is the best way to be relaxed and comfortable.
  • There are also many ways to be relaxed and comfortable that go beyond lifting.

What methods do you guys use to feel relaxed and comfortable?