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How to Maintain Frame and Avoid Beta Bait

Doomsday_
August 22, 2014
55 upvotes
/r/TheRedPill
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Post Information
Title How to Maintain Frame and Avoid Beta Bait
Author

Doomsday_
Upvotes 55
Comments 19
Date August 22, 2014 2:54 PM UTC
(11 years ago)
Subreddit Posted in /r/TheRedPill
Original Link https://old.reddit.com/r/TheRedPill/comments/2ea5j5/how_to_maintain_frame_and_avoid_beta_bait/
Archive Link https://theredarchive.com/r/TheRedPill/how-to-maintain-frame-and-avoid-beta-bait.228542
https://theredarchive.com/post/228542
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Comments

[–]Endorsed Contributorgekkozorz 16 points17 points18 points 11 years ago (6 children) | Copy Link

It's the classic "does this dress make me look fat" sitcom trope.

  • Woman asks unanswerable question where you lose no matter how you respond
  • Man answers question in an honest and logical fashion
  • Woman gets PO'd and man doesn't know what he did

When a woman sets you up for a shit test, she's inviting you to enter a frame that you lose by default by entering. Weak men oblige, enter the frame, and don't understand how to play in there, alpha men don't even enter the frame to begin with.

That's a big factor which separates the losers from the winners.

[–]ModMachiavellianRed 1 point2 points3 points 11 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

Woman asks unanswerable question where you lose no matter how you respond

Between a rock and a hard place

That's a big factor which separates the losers from the winners.

Morton's fork is what this bullshit is called. Her ass is fat, you're obviously an asshole who doesn't appreciate her beauty. Her ass isn't fat? You're obviously an asshole who doesn't respect her enough to not lie to her. Morton's fork is the name of the reasoning for "you're wrong whether you go with yes or no." In these scenarios the only way to win is not to play. Reject the premise/frame entirely.

Women are always looking for strong men. They can't stop, they can't help themselves, they're utterly obsessed with finding the best man that they can and if they get him, to then keep testing him to see if he really is the shit. They're relentless. Feminine nature to a T.

[–]Nieben 1 point2 points3 points 11 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

I'd love to respond: "You're the only fatass I like fucking."

[–]Doomsday_[S] 1 point2 points3 points 11 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

Indeed. Every shit test is designed to force you into a frame where you depend on her for validation. You reject the frame by showing that you don't give a fuck. The best way to do this is often by not treating the test seriously: hence, A&A.

[–]wheyapartment 0 points1 point2 points 11 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link

Nah. If your girl asks you a question like that, there's nothing wrong with saying she looks good.

But if she responds negatively to your compliment, that's when you put your foot down.

[–]Endorsed Contributorgekkozorz 3 points4 points5 points 11 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

Not necessarily. If you say "of course not, you look beautiful" then it just sounds like appeasement, which she can shoot down with "don't humor me, how come you don't respect me enough to give me your honest opinion?"

On the other hand, "yeah, it does make your hips a little big" could always be shot down with "you're supposed to make me feel beautiful, now you're just making me feel like crap."

That's the point of a shit test. It has no correct answer.

[–]wheyapartment 7 points8 points9 points 11 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

If she says "don't humour me" just tell her to shut the fuck up and accept the compliment. That's the correct answer. You make sure she knows that your compliments are valid and that you won't accept her negative response to it.

[–]mavrich 2 points3 points4 points 11 years ago (10 children) | Copy Link

I had a girl who had a chronic condition that caused her to have fatigue and some lower back pain. She would often say things like "I wish I was as healthy as normal people" or "I wish I could get by on less sleep like other people". How would have you handled this?

[–]MetacognitiveMan 13 points14 points15 points 11 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

Neither of those require a response.

[–][deleted] 11 years ago* (1 child) | Copy Link

[permanently deleted]

[–]mavrich 0 points1 point2 points 11 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

The way I tried to handle it is to state slide. First I would agree, yeah your condition sucks but imagine (insert something happier). Good?

[–]Rumble_in_the_Jungle 5 points6 points7 points 11 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

Legitimate complains from women you care about are handled in one of two ways:

  1. If she can't fix it and you can, then just fix it and move on. Don't ask or offer, just fix it. Unless of course you don't want to.

  2. If neither of you can fix it, then just acknowledge it and let her know you empathize with her (she knows that you understand what she's feeling). This is part of being her "rock."

[–]thebears1986 2 points3 points4 points 11 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

just acknowledge it and let her know you empathize with her

Very true. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-4EDhdAHrOg

[–][deleted] 3 points4 points5 points 11 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

The fact is that long-term disability will, at some point, cause you to feel miserable and helpless. Unless you've experienced this personally, it's very difficult to understand. The helplessness is the most crushing part. Very rarely are people fishing for sympathy in this situation and it's not a shit test, either. They simply want to feel better, but don't know how. The best things to do are to encourage and be positively empathic. Anything along the lines of, "You'll be okay," is fine. Talking positively about the future is good, too. Like, "Imagine you're well enough to travel. Where will you go first? Why?" This gets them motivated and flips their feelings from negative to positive. That's all they need. At some point most humans need a bit of a push in this direction. It's not weak to help people who need that.

[–]elevul 1 point2 points3 points 11 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

Can't physical therapy, foam rolling and weight training help with that?

[–]1CaptainFalconer 0 points1 point2 points 11 years ago* (1 child) | Copy Link

For sleep supplement Melatonin and ZMA.

For fatigue, drink more water. The number 1 cause of fatigue is either lack of sleep or dehydration.

Or a Ketogenic diet does a lot to fix adenosine regulation (i.e. the receptor caffeine interacts with), and is more efficient at providing the brain with ATP energy.
http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC2769009/#__sec4title

Another cause of lack of restful sleep is sleep apnea. Testing for this is expensive. Especially since, your only alternatives if you test positive are either an oxygen filed face mask while you sleep, OR lose weight. (Ketogenic diets are extremely helpful with the later issue)

The lower back pain, probably need to do some exercises. No idea which, but I'd guess some form of weight lifting.

[–]nugget359 1 point2 points3 points 11 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

Haha I do this without even realizing it because it annoys the hell out of me when I hear shit like that. My ex used to tell me how she was getting so fat when she was actually in very good shape. I would give her a big sarcastic look and say, "Yeah, about that...." And she would hit me on the arm, tell me I'm an ass, and then we would have sex.

[–]wheyapartment 1 point2 points3 points 11 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

There's nothing wrong with reassuring your girlfriend when she feels insecure and this doesn't mean you're a beta. There are SO many other factors at play.

[–]Science_isthenewcool1 point 11 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

This is an important category of shit test and increasing awareness of how to handle it is beneficial. Keep up the good work. I like to mix up the Agree and Amplify with the Dismissive Provocation (didn't know there was a term for it :). Both are good for all levels and types of shit test.

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