I just can't internalize TRP mentality

NO_LAH_WHERE_GOT · 2015-11-18T13:20:29+00:00

The first thing I would say is, if you don't already see it, it's unlikely that anybody else can make you see it. But I'll give it a shot.

How do you guys do it? To always "hold the frame" and to always be thinking about all the power plays going on, defending yourself, etc.

I can't speak for everyone, but in my case it goes like this: When I was a teenager, I was naive, didn't care about frame, didn't pay attention to power players around me, and didn't bother defending myself.

It led to a lot of unnecessary pain, frustration and suffering. I kept finding myself in shitty situations with people who would take advantage of my kindness, and when I tried to request the same of others, I'd be denied. It was a shitty life.

It's so tiring and unnatural

If it's tiring and unnatural, you're doing it wrong. Applied properly, it should be energizing and it should feed back on itself.

trust me I tried

I trust that you tried, but trying isn't enough.

I'm not a manipulator

Everybody is, whether you realize it or not. "I don't care about fashion" is still a fashion statement.

I hate to make other people suffer

Me too.

Why would you purposely shut down the "goodness" in you PERMANENTLY out of your life?

Whoa there, slow down a little. Who said anything about shutting down goodness permanently? TRP is, in a sense, about introducing rigor and discipline into your life. We don't do that because we're pain-loving masochists who want to suffer until we die. (Well, I can't speak for everyone.) We do it because we want to grow and nourish the things that matter to us.

Imagine your life is a rose garden, and there are a bunch of weeds in it. The point is to kill the weeds so that the roses can flourish.

Fake it till you become a sociopath? I just don't get it. Why would you want to do that?

I'm not sure where the "faking" comes in. I think you're associating the internalization of a way of thinking with the wearing of an artificial mask of sorts. I'm not faking. In fact, I'm more honest now than I was when I was younger.

Why become something that you know cannot possibly give you peace

I am much more at peace now than I was before. It's kinda Zen, actually. When you recognize that nothing is perfect, nothing is permanent, and that in a moment, everything can change, you don't need to worry. In the past, I made all sorts of naive assumptions about how other people would behave. I make no such assumptions any more, and I am calmer and more peaceful for it.

There are a lot of things in here that I don't think are correct action as well as gross generalizations that can permanently fuck anyone's world view up.

This is true. But you can also die from drinking too much water. Consider adding a "don't be a moron" note to anything you read, whether in or out of TRP.

Some of the stuff I read here just makes me want to give up on the whole fucking human race.

Pet peeve here. The "whole fucking human race" is far worse than anything a bunch of guys post on the Internet. The "whole fucking human race" has a long history of genocide, slaughter, murder, rape, pillaging, abuse, exploitation. And it's a bunch of pixels on a screen that make you want to give up? Lmao.

Is AWALT really true or did I just get these outliers (specially my last relationship) that don't fuck around?"

AWALT is shorthand. Personally, I'm not a fan of the phrasing, but I'm able to appreciate the utility of the concept. I personally prefer to use the phrase "All Guns Are Loaded", which is a simple rule-of-thumb that responsible gun owners use. It doesn't matter how many times you check that you've unloaded your gun– assume that it's loaded anyway. Don't point it at anybody. Don't put your finger on the trigger. All guns are loaded.

We could use that last phrase to troubleshoot your entire passage, actually. How do I always assume that all guns are loaded? Why do I always reflexively get out of the way when somebody points a gun at me, even if it's not loaded? Isn't it so tiring, so unnatural?

Think about it.

DarkuSchneider · 2015-11-18T12:49:01+00:00

This is something I struggled with too but less and less as time goes by. I did not have to become a callous sociopath to cure involuntary celibacy (InCel) and white knighting. AWALT does not mean women are evil in general. It simply means her biological imperative to reproduce (like a man) if unchecked has the potential capacity for them to do counter-productive things given the right conditions and varies by upbringing for how easy it is to happen. Western women typically(not exclusively) have the poorest self discipline because of a hyper liberal society that instills entitlement and the destruction of the traditional family unit. There are fewer good fathers to teach discipline, stoicism, and good character (The fathers role is not only about punishment). All humans are potentially very dangerous creatures given the right stimulus so think of women that way if that helps; do not hate them for their programming. Respect the risks when dealing with them like any other human. People are out to survive and take care of #1; it's not personal or a conspiracy, just the business of nature. Once you realize that holding frame is easier.

Go read the adultery forums and you will see countless women lament something along the lines of: "I love my husband, he works hard/good provider/sexy/ has money, loyal, good father, treats me well...BUT... I just am not attracted to him/can't fuck him anymore and I don't know why but this guy I ran into/know suddenly made me feel something I have not in a long time..". Then the hamster rolls until she finds the justification to trade-up usually. There are countless articles around here that discuss the mechanisms of gaining/losing attraction. The details will vary by person but there is definitely a common theme. I have seen it in my 40 years but it didn't start to click until my 30s and came into sharp focus after discovering TRP/PUA/MGTOW theory a couple years ago.

When learning TRP there are phases you will pass through as your belief system and core paradigm are being challenged with new but conflicting information. Depression then anger is not uncommon but once you get past that the clarity will start to unfold as you internalize things and your paradigm changes after seeing the truth in action enough times. It sounds like you are still clinging to your original paradigm and that is perfectly natural but you need to scrutinize that paradigm as much as new information almost like a scientist. If a woman has ever said you were nice/too nice for them then you need to read a book called "No More Mr. Nice Guy". It has nothing to do with being mean but just explains why you are too nice/timid in certain situations and helps break the dysfunctional mental habits that will make you happier, and as a side effect attract others as no one likes a sad person faking happiness/placating them to get a mate.

Remember you are solely responsible for fulfilling your own needs and finding happiness, no one will do it for you. You can not 'make' a woman happy, that is her choice to make. You do not need to manipulate them or tick them. You only need to do what enriches your life for yourself whatever that goal is to you specifically. If someone wants to come along for the ride of your life they are either on board with you as-is or they are not. No hard feelings either way because you are happy and fulfilled on your own and self-reliant. If I meet a few good women this week, cool, new experiences to learn from. If I meet 0 this week, cool, I have more time and money to further improve my own awesome life. That is true IDGAF IMHO. Sorry random ramblings TLDR been on shift 14 hours making the Internet, my favorite job...

MachiavellianRed · 2015-11-18T14:34:46+00:00

/r/asktrp

Moolg86 · 2015-11-18T11:58:00+00:00

Its so tiring and so unnatural. I know you have to "fake it till you make" trust me I tried but there always come a time that I go back to being my normal self.

kind of like when you first start lifting weights after not doing so for a long time. TRP isn't a lightswitch that you can just flip and suddenly all is well.

Why would you purposely shut down the "goodness" in you PERMANENTLY out of your life? Fake it till you become a sociopath? I just don't get it. Why would you want to do that? Why become something that you know cannot possibly give you peace (at least from my perspective of course).

This "Goodness" isn't permanently shutdown, if anything it's metered and controlled. dispensed in response to behavior and outcomes you find favorable. Too much of anything is fatal.

Why oh WHY would you want to have an LTR "on TRP mentality" when you have to constantly be on your toes and never have a moment's rest because you can't break frame?? Its like you are purposely fucking yourself up, destroy your freedom and be generally unhappy. It just makes no sense (to me at least) to have a relationship in which I am always on TRP mentality.

Frame isn't a wall that you're constantly building up, it's more of a mindset or state of being by which you define yourself. there is no walking on eggshells, and honestly if you feel that way, those feelings may be indicative of an underlying problem.

you're in denial. it's not a bad thing, you're making progress.

Dustin_Bromain · 2015-11-18T12:12:57+00:00

From what i've been through so far since finding the Red Pill, internalizing it takes a long, looooooooooong time. I've been here for six months and I still have huge issues with holding frame and i'm currently stuck in the depression phase. I'd suggest that you give it some more time.

Code_Bordeauxx · 2015-11-18T12:24:25+00:00

You need to read more of the quality material my friend. You've misinterpreted key elements and failed to see the nuances. The goal isn't to become a sociopath, AWALT doesn't mean suitable LTR women don't exist, maintaining frame doesn't mean you need to be on edge all the time and you don't need to give up on 'goodness' altogether.

Instead, don't only acknowledge that Dark Triad traits work, but understand WHY they work (confidence, DGAF mentality, instilling excitement, etc.) and use this to your advantage without actually becoming DT. Know that AWALT is true, but only in a strict selection of aspects and that all these aspects reflect tendencies that can be suppressed or overcome. Know that maintaining frame means you can't break down crying and can't have people taking advantage of you, but that it doesn't have to stop you from cuddling with your girlfriend if you so desire. And lastly, know that showing 'goodness' only gains you appreciation and respect if people know you act that way out of choice, not necessity. You can be good, you can be kind, but only with those that deserve it, and not unconditionally so.

If you have questions, feel free to ask them. I've known this sub and its writings for a very long time, and have been in a very successful, mutually happy RP LTR because of it.

CuntyMcFagNuts69 · 2015-11-18T12:39:38+00:00

The moment you finally stop being angry and accepting this as nature it becomes easier. I was pissed for a few months, couldn't focus, had to monk it out. Once you see clearly, it isn't exhausting, it comes naturally

Gotyouyo · 2015-11-18T14:36:37+00:00

Yes you can internalize it . Once you do , it will make your life way easier. I think you are a little scared to really try . I would suggest reading some of the stories guys post here ( just type in " awalt " in the search bar and see if you have had similar problems, most likely you have). It's certainly a tough pill to swallow but once you do. It makes life easier. Once you do understand it you'll see how predictable women / people are in general and it will help you operate more efficiently. It gives you the tools you should of gotten as a child to become the man . It's certainly depressing once you really get it but after you'll rise more powerful.

overreactor · 2015-11-18T13:38:20+00:00

You are confused about a lot of the core principles. It's not about turning into anyone else, it's about knowing the truth of what makes a successful sexual strategy. The Red Pill, and this had been said multiple times, is NOT a strict cookbook recipe, where you mess one ingredient and the whole thing falls apart. It's more of a buffet restaurant, where you check out every option and take what you feel works for you and your situation. The important part is to understand and internalize the concepts. To be aware of what's going on when you talk to a girl, and the way your relationships work.

Title	I just can't internalize TRP mentality
Author	dagadbm
Upvotes	2
Comments	14
Date	November 18, 2015 11:32 AM UTC (10 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/TheRedPill
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/TheRedPill/comments/3ta7o1/i_just_cant_internalize_trp_mentality/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/TheRedPill/i-just-cant-internalize-trp-mentality.38229 https://theredarchive.com/post/38229

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