I still feel beta...

asdfghjkltyu · 2014-10-30T08:12:31+00:00

All a lot of the members here will take from this sub is maybe a 25% attitude change. Maybe they won't give her free attention, maybe they'll stick up for themselves more, maybe they won't try and nice guy their way into a relationship, maybe they'll put themselves first in situations they otherwise wouldn't.

I will probably get attacked for it, but reading what a lot of the guys on here write you can tell they're not being completely honest about their circumstance of spinning 5 plates and banging endless women. But if you take the overall message and apply it to your day to day life you will notice improvements by not being a pushover.

bigchiefmsu · 2014-10-30T04:01:48+00:00

How do I put down the phone and stop worrying about what girls think and how best to appease them?

A lot of that stems from instant gratification vs longterm gratification. Your brain just wants to get laid NOW, so it steers you towards these "shortcut" behaviors that don't usually work anyway (like being nice and super-attentive in exchange for sex) instead of using your time to put in the work that gets you pussy/female validation in the long run (being a genuinely desirable, high SMV guy).

Those of us who grew up alongside video games and the mass consumer media have all been really fucked up in this department, myself included. I literally just started it, but this book The Marshmallow Test: Mastering Self-Control is making some tall promises on how to correct that within the first few pages. Might check it out OP.

wisdom_is · 2014-10-30T07:14:34+00:00

Dont expect a total transformation overnight! The proces of reprogramming yourself takes time. Sometimes years. You went from unaware incompetent, to aware incompetent. Gradually you will become aware competent. Dont be to hard on yourself. If you see yourself slipping in your old behavior take note and adjust yourself. Its a lifetime proces. Patience my boy!

Dr_Wally · 2014-10-30T13:00:49+00:00

How many guy pals do you have? Get more. How many hobbies do you have? Get more. Have you learned and understood as much as you can about the world so that no conversation/debate is a discussion you aren't prepared for? If you spend your time looking outside for validation, you won't have a life, instead someone else will rule your life. If this seems appealing to you then join the bluepill folks. If not, then start with the basics; learn a new skill, read about all positions and view points in politics and economics. Learn about as many religions as you can and learn about the world around you. Volunteer and help others or animals, be a better person, a value giver, a leader.

Don't do this in hopes that you will achieve that validation you seek from others. Do it for yourself, be proud of yourself, make your family proud and inspire others while being humble. Once this mindset is achieved, nothing anybody says will have any merit because you call the shots and they want validation from you.

[deleted] · 2014-10-30T13:57:58+00:00

Go lift.

But seriously, I get the feeling all the time. It's hard changing your lifestyle.

Whenever I find myself about to dip back into that comfortable, destructive, familiar blue-pill pattern of behavior I purposely and immediately Take A Pause^TM and intentionally do something that improves myself like reading, running, lifting, mediating, or even (as a last resort) over exaggerating red-pill behavior.

The trick isn't to be moving forward at a breakneck pace, but to never move backwards. Over time, these blue-pill habits will seem foreign and you won't have the urge to engage in them.

So when you're getting that urge, pause and intentionally do something that beta bigchiefmsu wouldn't do.

RedPillSafe · 2014-10-30T14:13:08+00:00

<<< MGTOW >>>

Think of yourself as a black box:

Input - The Matrix defined thoughts from tv, internet and music.
Output - The Alpha core thoughts that are generated internally by your animal instincts.

Your goal is to increase your "Output" and decrease your "Input".

That's really all there is, but if you are just starting out you might be saying:

"What animal instincts are you talking about?"

Stormhammer · 2014-10-30T10:40:47+00:00

How old are you? How long have your longest relationships been, and from there, how long have the breaks in between been?

Motherfucker, James Bond never worried what some girl thought about him. Study James Bond. Be James Bond. Hold frame like James Bond. Slay like James Bond.

sir_wankalot_here · 2014-10-30T11:18:37+00:00

This is an internal struggle you are facing.

I'm having trouble shaking these feelings of want and desire.

Society places a lot of pressure on people to conform and it is part of human nature. Start doing shit by yourself. Go do something like have a meal in a resturant by yourself. If anyone looks at you funny, give them a fuck you look, and if they ask where your date is, tell them you are content with your own company.

It becomes rather liberating. That is why I say bro groups are a sign of weakness and beta mentality.

bigchiefmsu · 2014-10-30T13:49:03+00:00

I want to thank everyone for the input and sage advice during this god damn frustrating time. As my impatience builds I have to remind myself to put SMV in the equation rather than forgo it.

stillnoturday · 2014-10-30T16:43:40+00:00

You here to bust through mountains or kick rocks, everything takes time but you will get to the point where you don't need others validation.

Jessie_James · 2014-10-30T18:11:45+00:00

You have to be single, and act it, and you have to raise your standards for the women you want to date.

If you are not single, or act like you're stuck on some chick you cannot get, other women won't be into you - they'll sense it. Be single by choice.

Then make a list of what you want, and then date to disqualify until you meet a woman that hits all those standards.

When I first started out, my list was something like "cute, has tits and pussy, and will fuck me." Maybe not even that.

After I wised up, my list was long as fuck. It was like this:

Single
Clinically sane
Chemistry together (sexual [read: flirts, she's into you] and friendly)
Funny, likes being teased, likes my sense of humor
No crazy ex, in fact no talking about her ex at all.
Skinny
Brunette
Non-smoker, non-drug user
Trustworthy beyond reproach (no shady behavior at all)
Caring and giving (did things for me)
Goes out of her way for me
Comes to my place as often as I go to hers
Good in bed AND has a high libido
Doesn't have tons of "guy friends"
Has good quality female friends (not the drama kind)
College educated
Enjoys cooking, and is good at cooking GOOD meals.
Enjoys drinking
Likes the same type of movies/TV shows I like

And on and on.

Now, when you first meet a woman, you can take a few minutes to talk to her before you even ask for her number. You know, introduce yourself, and then be sure she's single. Talk about a favorite movie and see how she reacts. Does she like it or hate it? See if she seems to be on the same page and is both into YOU and the things YOU like.

If all signs point to yes, then get her number. Then go on a date a week later and see if she qualifies herself to you and she meets your standards! Does she seem like someone you'd have a good time with? Is there a sexual chemistry there? If so, escalate and keep making her qualify herself to you.

Remember, you need to date to disqualify women who are gold diggers, emotional leaches, can't contribute, who lie, are lazy, or whatever else your ex's were like.

If you don't disqualify the shitty women, and you are not single, you will never get a chance to meet a better woman.

PrinceBarrington · 2014-10-30T15:20:12+00:00

What's the difference between a 30 year old guy and an 18 year old guy? The 18 year old is trying, the 30 year old is more rehearsed, he isn't trying. He did all that, he grew wise to it. He knows a pussy is a just another pussy. When you try in vain, you grow desperate. Women can smell desperation and it's often tied with immaturity, the only woman interested in a desperate man is a skank.

This comes with time. Part of the folly of youth is in thinking that at your age, this is all that matters. How many of us, at that youthful time in our lives (late teens, early twenties) have shuddered in horror at the thought of growing older? And how many older guys have looked back at those times and cringed? I would never want to be early twenties again, hell fucking no. What has changed in the last 10 years for me? I stopped giving a fuck, stopped trying to fit in with other's expectations, stopped buying into fashions and trends and concentrated on me!

When I was 18, I was another spotty, hormonal mess that reeked of desperation and Lynx (Axe in other parts of the world). I tried so hard to be liked, to define myself by others' opinions, to get laid because it would make me a man. Now I'm 31, I simply stopped caring about external influences and learned to grow from within. Late teens was a tough time, the hot girls wouldn't look twice at me, so I was left to bang the fatties. Now I'm turning down slutty offers from 18 year olds. Why? Because they are hormonal messes stinking of desperation. What you have to offer is a commodity; start believing it!

Title	I still feel beta...
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	17
Comments	21
Date	October 30, 2014 3:47 AM UTC (11 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/TheRedPill
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/TheRedPill/comments/2kr04g/i_still_feel_beta/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/TheRedPill/i-still-feel-beta.23879 https://theredarchive.com/post/23879

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