I was the bad boy and what you’re trying to make is a mistake.

Let me explain why.

Most girls in their 20s and even 30s have some kind of masculine ideal. This ideal is anything but healthy. They want the sociopath or the aggressive jerk or whatever is considered nowadays a good representation of masculinity.

The definition of a “good masculine sexual partner” is more of what you’d find in “Fight Club” than “Breakfast At Tiffany”. And yes, I was one of them. I acted as a jerk, I was emotionally imbalanced, I got into a lot of arguments and fights and I was emotionally and physically violent.

And this got me laid. A lot. The fact that my life was chaotic and broken, ironically, made a lot of very beautiful woman want to save me.

And here’s the thing …

If you want to screw your emotional balance, make your life a mess and be in that position for the sake of getting laid you are an idiot. This is because the “bad boy” image that works to get women turned on is kind of the opposite of what works in every other area of life.

Everywhere else consistency, maturity, dignity, integrity are rewarded. In the business world nobody will put up with the “bad boy” bullshit. In the academic world the same. Most realms of life are a meritocracy where your hard work and effort are going to get you what you deserve. Dating is one of the few fields in which the least you care and the more counter-intuitive you act, the better results you’re going to get.

But it is not worth it.

This is because while being a bad boy may get you female attention, being a bad boy is generally not a good life strategy and there is a LOT MORE to life than getting laid. I remember how at some point in my life I was an emotional mess, smoking, drinking, going in bars each night, sleeping with two girls at the same time (not in the same bed) and many people were “admiring me”.

In reality, I was crying out of frustration and desperation often because I was in a hole and no one was pulling me out. While I was getting girls to take off their panties, I had no money, my business partners wanted nothing to do with me, my friends who showed integrity and character have been replaced by superficial relationships and the future looked really bleak.

So honestly, what you want is the most immature thing you can do.

Trust me, treating life as a bad-boy (and I’m not talking about buying a leather jacket but actually being a “I-Don’t-Give-A-Damn” type of person) has a far higher downside than upside. While there are always going to be ladies who will (1) want to save you from yourself (2) think they can change you (3) be attracted because you’re different, the people who don’t want to have sex with you won’t really be impressed by what you’re doing.

So here’s my advice.

Act as a man and stop trying to emulate the dysfunctional bad-boy image. The rogue, the sociopath, the psychopath, the out of control wreck are and were always female fantasies for better or for worse but actually being one sucks.

Instead simply focus on acting as a man. The same traits that you consider boring nice, as a nice guy, are exactly the traits required to succeed in most fields. I’m not saying to be a wimp but I’m saying that being dysfunctional for the sake of mediocre sex (because deep inside you’ll always know that that’s not love but rather fascination) is a very bad trade-off.