Summary:

Dating & plating in another language means I can’t rely on my articulate communication skills and natural wit. Confidence sees me through.

Body:

First off, I’m not peak Alpha, but I’m in the top 20% physically for my demographic (early 40s). And so let me preface all my observations here with the most important rules: 1. Be attractive 2. Don’t be unattractive. ...Which means, in essence, LIFT.

With that out of the way: I’ve recently started dating women in another language. Here in Canada, there’s the whole French / English thing, and I live in a pretty bilingual area. I’m an Anglophone, and only learned French late in life. So my French is, by any objective measure, terrible. I speak like a ten year old. I search for words, misunderstand when people talk too quickly, and when speaking I have to approach concepts in roundabout ways due to the limited vocabulary I have at my disposal.

(as an aside, dating chicks who speak another language is a great way to improve my language skills, so it’s productive, self-improving while dating and plating)

So on dating sites, I’ve seen women with French profiles, clearly identifying that they want a Francophone man (sometimes that’s the only English sentence in their profile's description). Of course to me, this is a challenge. Normally I’ve only dated English speaking women, and wouldn’t consider these chicks. With English women, it was supposedly easy – I have a very natural wit, I’m very articulate, and come off very well.

But this is a new kettle of fish. So to open these French women, I’ve written opening messages in terrible French. The content is such that I generally comment on one or two items in their profile (to demonstrate I read it) and then ask if they have the patience to tolerate my horrible French – but that I might just be worth it. For whatever reason, this confidence, despite my limited language ability, has been a fucking hit. I'm approaching an 80% response rate with this demographic, which to me is unbelievable. [edit: prob a 50% of those actually meet up. Fewer close the deal. But 80% email response is pretty unprecedented for me]

When we meet, I just ignore the conversational difficulties, and display confident body language and tone of voice. Errors I make speaking become inside jokes. For example, I told one I had to “se crosser la riviere” to get to see her at the meeting location. Apparently the correct verb to say I crossed the river is “traverser.” The phrase “se crosser” is a Quebecois euphemism for masturbating apparently. So in essence I told her that I had masturbated a river in order to see her.

Making a huge mistake like that would, in my own language, mark me as a creep. But in a second language, when I’m obviously clueless (yet still exuding confidence), it becomes funny, endearing, and even flirty. When I fuck up speaking, or misunderstand, it’s a chance to be playful and make fun of the miscommunication.

Bear in mind - my target is women at the cusp of the wall - 30s. They're still 8-12 years younger than me, and suit my tastes. No idea if this would work on younger girls, but I expect it would.

Lesson learned:

  1. Be attractive
  2. Don’t be unattractive
  3. Lift
  4. Wit is overrated. Confidence is more important.
  5. Dating in another language improves your language skills.