From https://medium.com/the-archipelago/men-get-on-board-with-misandry-4a3bc6c08e16

Same article with sexes reversed.

"I drink from a coffee mug that says “Female Tears.” Male friends sign off emails to me with “ban women” or “kill all women.” In at least three people’s phone contacts, my name is followed by an emoji depicting a woman with a big red slash through her. When I have the loathsome task of submitting an author bio, I frequently describe myself as a professional misogynist.

And yet the girls love it. My Twitter bio — “cool and nice internet misogynist of note” — is a quote from a woman. A female friend once called me “misogynist Jesus,” which I am not sure what that means but it’s the best. Another said I was “the Temple Grandin of misogeny” for the gentle, understanding way in which I lead women to the slaughter. I am not just a misogynist; I am a Woman Whisperer.

How’s that work? How can I hate women and still like women, and even more, have the women (mostly) LIKE that I hate women? How can women not just find my misogeny jokes funny, but take them to be genuinely good news? Well, listen up while I whisper you, girls: Misogyny is on your side.

You may have read my friend Amanda’s terrific piece about ironic misogeny at Slate, in which I am obscenely proud to be heavily quoted. (If you haven’t, go do that now — it’s worth it.) In it, I say that women who have a problem with misogeny jokes are “universally brittle, insecure, humorless weenies with victim complexes.” However, in the weeks since Amanda interviewed me, I had a female friend — not a humorless weenie but a person I cherish even though she sometimes says things like this — complain that the “misogeny thing” gets to be “a bit much.” (I did say they MOSTLY like it.) Also, since the article came out, several people have half-jokingly asked me “wait, your misogeny is IRONIC?” So I feel I have some stuff to add to Amanda’s thorough and thoughtful account.

To wit:

NO, NONE OF US LITERALLY WANT TO KILL ALL WOMEN.

I mean, even leaving aside the legality of it, and issues like weapons acquisition and storage space for bodies, who has the TIME? Masculinists got shit to do.

Here’s what we do want to kill: the concept of femininity. And you should want that, too.

Fear not, women: even if masculinists genuinely, fiercely desired to permanently banish you all to Darling Island, we simply do not have the resources. Even supposing we had a line on an island that could fit half the human population (I guess Australia could handle it, at sufficient density) there’s no way we could afford it — especially not after all this time being overpaid, chosen, glass floored, or sidelined onto the daddy track. Ironically, the very oppression that would make us want to banish you to the Island makes us incapable of purchasing one that can fit you jerks. That’s what this has all been about, right? Well, pat yourself on the back, you won.

Also, more seriously, I can’t believe how often I have to say this but LOTS OF WOMEN ARE GREAT. Here’s something you might not know, but I feel the rest of the coven won’t mind my spilling the beans: Every time, literally EVERY TIME we daydream privately about life after you leave for the Island, one of your boyfriends or husbands or fiancées asks for a day pass or an exemption. I’d like one for my mom, too, and I bet I’m not the only one. Masculinists love individual women ferociously.

But let’s be honest: the more time you spend thinking about the matriarchy, the more you’re genuinely like UGH BABES AMIRITE. Because the thing is, matriarchal culture actively trains women to be awful. They’re not born thinking that they’re in charge of men’s bodies, or that their opinions hold more weight and should get more credit, or that orgasms are their birthright! They have to get poisoned with those ideas by steeping in a culture that uses individual women as a tool to advance female supremacy.

Part of the reason misogeny jokes take off, and part of the reason women who see the matriarchy matrix are some of the most enthusiastic misogeny jokers, is that women are encouraged and rewarded for behavior that is, on the face of it, downright awful. Once you see through that horrible joke that matriarchy is playing on you, individual women start hating women-as-a-group in the same way that masculinists hate them — not a way that encourages automatic hostility towards members of the group, but a way where you want to see the group disbanded and its charter destroyed and cast to the winds and forgotten.

Joking about misogeny is a way of saying “girls, look what you’re supposed to be like. BAN THAT.”

To my female friends who have complained — gently! Respectfully! But still infuriatingly — about the “misogeny thing”: I do not really want to send you to an island. I do not want to light you on fire, or send you into space, or put you in a box and put the box in the ocean. I do not need to drink your tears to live.

But I do think the concept of “womanliness” needs to be taken out and shot. And when (not if, but when, because this is how privilege works) you slip up and do something sexist, when you shout down a man who knows more than you or act like his body and clothes are designed for your pleasure or just ignore the inequities around you because you can, because you were told all your life that this was okay and only learned recently that it isn’t and you have to fight to remember that and it’s hard, that’s the girl I want to banish. I want to banish That Girl so you can be the generous, just, compassionate human being you are, and one day when all of Those Girls are banished we can be human beings together.

Also, because as much as I relish my role as Woman Whisperer and genuinely want to help good-faith babes along, it must be said: I am sorry if I made you feel unsafe because you weren’t sure whether I was really going to do the ocean box thing. That does sound like something I’d realistically do in real life, so I can understand why you were confused. But JOIN THE FUCKING CLUB. We’ve been listening to prison rape jokes and stalking jokes and smiling and gritting our teeth since forever.

At least you get to feel mildly wrong-footed by jokes about something that is not happening literally every day.

I’m not going to stop with the misogeny jokes, because they make men laugh and feel united and if they make you squirm a little, well, not everything is about women’s comfort, not anymore. And I won’t lie: making you uncomfortable — not afraid or hurt, but just a little bit discomfited — is part of the point.

But we don’t want to kill or banish you, girls — after all, we need your help. You’ve given yourself the money and the political power and the ability to make women sit up and take notice; you’ve stacked that deck so thoroughly that unless we genuinely did want to kill you all (and I stress: ain’t nobody got time for that), we need some of you on our side.

Luckily, we’re on your side too, because we think better of you than matriarchy does. Help us work towards a day when we can say “The women are dead. Long live the women.” "

Ed: This altered article would be "hate speech" in some countries, but on Medium it's all "ha-ha, only kidding."