This post is for all of the guys that are seeking validation from others cause of an absent/weak father. The guys that are constantly second guessing themselves not just when it comes to women, but with life. TRP constantly states that validation and happiness need to come from within, but if you’re like me, the struggle is figuring out how to get there. I personally have been seeing a therapist so we can bring the issues I buried to the surface, face them, and move the fuck on.

A little background on myself: my father was in my life, but the entire time he’s been distant or a prick. I never learned how to validate myself because growing up I never got any validation from him, only disapproval. Now, at age 27, I said fuck this and decided to do something about it. So, in tonight’s session we were talking about things I do that stop me from enjoying my accomplishments. My problem was that whenever I made a decision, and there was a positive outcome, I would always think to myself that the outcome could be better, even though things ended up pretty okay. On top of that, whenever I made a decision and something BAD came of it, that reinforced my shitty view of myself. Talking about that tonight, my therapist said something so blunt, but profound: just look at the data.

At first I thought to myself that I was looking at the data and he stopped me right there. What he made me realize is that regardless of if my father ever validated my decision or not, the outcomes do not lie. That is where you need to be pulling your validation from. The fact that the positive outcome was caused by YOUR decision. Just look at the data.

Are you fat and decided to start lifting? Look at the data. You got off your ass, lifted/ran/did sit ups, and it made you feel fucking GOOD. You made that decision. That good feeling? That came from you.

Trying to muster up the courage to talk to that girl? Look at the data. You walked up to her, and regardless of whether or not she gave you her number, you got yourself out of your comfort zone. Again, a decision made by YOU.

Keep doing this and eventually you will be so sure of yourself that you will stand behind your decisions no matter the outcome. A man that can do that will have rock solid frame and confidence.

Just look at the data.