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Marriage Isn’t For You

Human_v2
November 3, 2013
40 upvotes
/r/TheRedPill
Archived from /r/TheRedPill

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Post Information
Title Marriage Isn’t For You
Author

Human_v2
Upvotes 40
Comments 38
Date November 3, 2013 8:55 PM UTC
(12 years ago)
Subreddit Posted in /r/TheRedPill
Original Link https://old.reddit.com/r/TheRedPill/comments/1ptve5/marriage_isnt_for_you/
Archive Link https://theredarchive.com/r/TheRedPill/marriage-isnt-for-you.232627
https://theredarchive.com/post/232627
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Comments

[–]BoyMeetsHarem 73 points74 points75 points 12 years ago (24 children) | Copy Link

I went into my relationship and resulting marriage to a 30 year old single mom with this sort of attitude, like I was Mr. Standup Guy who was going to save her from all the bad mistakes she had made in the past and craft a fairy tale life for all of us. Of course, her marriage to me was more about me being an unpaid babysitter who stayed home with her child while she went out 3 nights a week and banged random guys she met at the bar while I slept for 2 years in my own guest room.

I pay child support now for a daughter who isn't mine and I will likely never be able to afford having children or a family of my own blood.

If you're considering getting married, please come to Denver and look me up so I can slap you full on in the fucking mouth, because you are a goddamned idiot.

[–]elheretic 26 points27 points28 points 12 years ago (19 children) | Copy Link

Damn it hurts to read that shit.

Go work in the Oil sands up in Alberta I heard dudes are making good bank up there if you're not geographically stranded already.

[–]BoyMeetsHarem 8 points9 points10 points 12 years ago (18 children) | Copy Link

Thanks for the support.

I'm stranded until she turns 19, otherwise I would have to pay even more each month. Besides, she is a good kid and none of this shit is her fault. I made a commitment to be a good father for her and I'm sticking to it.

Her mom and I actually are very civil and cooperative with each other at this point, and I manage to keep my bitterness and anger to myself. I have a decent corporate job and it's not like I'm struggling to buy food, but I'm sure as hell not going to be building any real wealth or retirement savings for the next 8 years.

Then again, TRP has started to motivate me to find side income, get my discipline in line, get in shape, etc...so maybe I'll be able to pull myself out of the hole sooner. It's really all about staying focused and making the most of the 24 hours we have each day.

[–]elheretic 5 points6 points7 points 12 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

All the best brother.

I know it seems strange in this atomized society it is hard to generate a feeling of camaraderie but having experienced hardship myself I really hope you turn this situation into a success.

[–]redpillhead 2 points3 points4 points 12 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link

How did you get stuck with child support? How old was the kid when you got married?

[–]BoyMeetsHarem 7 points8 points9 points 12 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

I legally adopted a little over a year before she and I split up, we had been married about 3 years at that point. Yes, I was that big of a dumb ass. At the time, my beta brain thought she would see it as a sign of how committed I was to trying to fix our marriage. Those last two years I was living in our guest room and getting laid about once every 2 months. Lol. Beta bux indeed.

You really cannot fathom that someone can be so deceitful and selfish, with so little regard for what she is doing to your life, until it happens to you. (Or you get enough exposure to people's sob stories like mine through friends or online.)

[–]redpillhead 2 points3 points4 points 12 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

damn that is rough man. Thanks for sharing your story.

[–]2 Senior Endorsed Contributorvengefully_yours 1 point2 points3 points 12 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link

I'm at the end of the ex wife gravy train 8 years goes fast. You can get still build your life again, if I can anyone can. It is rough and its completely fucked up, but its only temporary.

[–]BoyMeetsHarem 0 points1 point2 points 12 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link

That is awesome man, glad you made it through with your skin intact. What a world we live in, eh?

[–]2 Senior Endorsed Contributorvengefully_yours 0 points1 point2 points 12 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link

Wasnt easy, first two years was homeless while in the military, living out of my car and on friends couches. Managed to have her to agree to a lower support payment, and got promoted, which allowed me to live indoors again. Got fucked up in my last deployment and medically discharged, unable to work, I got $36k in debt before the VA and Social Security started paying me.

The state calls disabled dads deadbeats, they see no difference. They took my entire compensation twice while I was paying the bitch, simply because I was behind. Then when the payment didnt go through, they charged me extra and made it so I couldnt use the online payment method. They made it as difficult as possible, because a cripple can get out and do so much to get money to pay a lazy fat cunt who is abusing/molesting my kids with her new husband.

I am just 8 months from being done with that twat, then I get my full check again and I can actually live for the first time in 20 years.

[–]BoyMeetsHarem 0 points1 point2 points 12 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

I'm really sorry you had to go through that. I hope in a few years you have saved and rebuilt and are living your dreams. <brohug>

[–]2 Senior Endorsed Contributorvengefully_yours 0 points1 point2 points 12 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

The second one is trying to ruin me now, mostly because nobody likes her boyfriend. She has framed me for criminal shit, and is accusing others of hrassment filing lawsuits to get them fired.

So still have shit in my life due to women acting like the spoiled brats they are. Soon itwill be behind me again.

[–]raloa -1 points0 points1 point 12 years ago (8 children) | Copy Link

Fuck that bro, don't pay or move to a different country. If you go to jail you go to jail, fuck her.

[–]BoyMeetsHarem 5 points6 points7 points 12 years ago (7 children) | Copy Link

I don't think it's that simple. I've been the only father to my daughter since she was 3 years old (she's 11 now) and although that bond will never feel the same as my own blood would, it's certainly not nothing to me.

To her, it's everything and she would be devastated if I just walked away. I get the red pill view that self-respecting men should not volunteer to raise someone else's children, but that perspective came way too late for me. I would never do it again, but I made this choice long before I realized how badly I was screwing myself and I'm not about to further screw up the life of someone who loves and depends on me at this point.

Child support sucks, and I will do whatever I can to make sure the amount I pay is minimzed. Luckily, despite my ex's self-centered, deceitful and slutty behavior, she does not seem to be one of the horrible bitches willing to lie and accuse and take full custody in order to raise her her monthly check. (I have a friend whose ex wife put him in jail for the night while she cleaned out the bank accounts, changed the locks, got a restraining order and almost took his kids away from him permanently. She deserves to be in the fucking ground for that shit.)

I'm 38 now, and I'm not about to risk jail time and permanent financial ruin when I've probably only got another 5-10 years of decent SMV left. What happened, happened. All I can do now is keep putting one foot in front of the other until I climb out.

[–]raloa -2 points-1 points0 points 12 years ago (6 children) | Copy Link

I get that, but at the same time you're feeding a very bad system that you can help take down by not taking apart of.

Imagine if every man, if they get extorted decides "fuck this, prison is a better alternative".

[–]BoyMeetsHarem 4 points5 points6 points 12 years ago (5 children) | Copy Link

I'm not going to let our shitty legal system become the sole focus of the rest of my life. That kind of nobility and martyrdom is the same type of shit that makes betas act the way I acted for years.

I agree, it is a terrible system and needs to be changed, but I'm not about to fall on the sword to get it done. I've got money to try and make and bitches to try and learn how to fuck. Time's a wastin.

[–]raloa -2 points-1 points0 points 12 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link

Well you're knowingly allowing yourself to pay for a child you aren't related to. When there are plenty of ways you can just disappear or do stuff in that regard to bypass the system (under the table?).

Think outside of the box please.

[–]BoyMeetsHarem 4 points5 points6 points 12 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link

Thanks for your perspective bro, I do appreciate it. You do you. I'm gonna do me.

[–]raloa 1 point2 points3 points 12 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link

No problem. I'm different, I would willingly screw myself over if it means getting revenge/justice (if it came to that). I have very little regard for my well being so long as I accomplish an objective.

[–]BoyMeetsHarem1 point 12 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

Well, I used to think that way too, but something my dad has been telling me my whole life finally sunk in over the past few years - "Look out for number 1."

Also, in a country of 300 million people where the broadcast media is controlled by corporations and politicians you are never going to get critical mass and have enough men take a stand to make a difference. Reminds me of the prisoner's dilemma - everyone will adopt a strategy of avoiding catastrophe even though a unified stand would create a better outcome.

[–]raloa3 points 12 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

Mission objective is more important than me.

I set my own missions and I will do anything to see it accomplished.

I'm not sure if that's looking out for number 1 or not, but again in my opinion you're not looking out for yourself if you're not looking for ways out even "illegal" should be considered.

[–]Mengs87 7 points8 points9 points 12 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

Lesson noted: Never, ever, ever date a single mom.

[–]kudosxv 10 points11 points12 points 12 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

Wish I could buy you a beer.

[–]BoyMeetsHarem 0 points1 point2 points 12 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

Thanks man, appreciate it.

[–]otiswild 2 points3 points4 points 12 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

Captain Saveaho, I feel for ya, a friend of mine did similar but the problem was the larcenous druggie son that stole his stuff to sell for his habits. The mom wouldn't discipline the kid, and the eventual divorce fucked him over.

[–]thebigspooner19 points 12 years ago [recovered] (2 children) | Copy Link

Someone remind me to reach out to this guy in 5 years and see how he's doing

[–]Memento_Mori_Comitis 11 points12 points13 points 12 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

Give it 10. In most states the wife will then be eligible for lifelong support on his higher salary. He'll lose his house, his kids, most of his retirement savings, and be put into a situation where he will never be able to retire. He'll also be so god damned pussy whipped at that stage that he won't be able to find his balls (which have long been sitting in a jar collecting dust in his wife's vanity drawer) to put up much of a fight (not that it matters given the joke of a court system most states have in place for divorce settlements anyway).

[–]thebigspooner2 points 12 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

is Canada worse?

[–]TRP VanguardVZPurp 17 points18 points19 points 12 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

Hahaha. That guy should let women know what the deal is, because they're the ones causing divorce.

[–][deleted] 3 points4 points5 points 12 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

Seriously. Guys who are hoping to get married need to stop. If I were to find a high smv woman and she seemed like good ltr material then maybe. Even after all those requirements I would have to have kept a good relationship with the woman for at least 5 years. There are too many negatives today to get married so easily. I feel for BMH though.

[–]I_BRING_THE_STORM 6 points7 points8 points 12 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

This makes me want to puke. Maybe she is the one, but think of all the poor beta (for lack of better term) men who will read this and be inspired to do the same thing.

[–]redbluepilling 4 points5 points6 points 12 years ago* (0 children) | Copy Link

Ah yes, I saw this on facebook. It's absolutely incredible how much this guy is putting into the relationship--the selflessness and sacrifice as he even says. But what of her? There's no mention or expectation of her sacrifice. Read it. It's all about her. She's the only important one in this marriage, and she should be showered with grand gifts and supplicated affection.

...but remember, marriage is a 50/50 partnership. Ha!

[–][deleted] 6 points7 points8 points 12 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

This nigga be trippin. Let me break it down for you all.

Nevertheless, falling in love with my best friend did not prevent me from having certain fears and anxieties about getting married.

Yet you still went through with it? Too much of a pussy to stop it and cause you and her a world of regret?

The nearer Kim and I approached the decision to marry, the more I was filled with a paralyzing fear.

Fear of what? Spending your life with your "best friend". OMG that's something to be sooo afraid of.

Was I ready? Was I making the right choice? Was Kim the right person to marry? Would she make me happy?

These are all things women worry about. First of all, you're putting WAY too much importance on marriage and giving it way more credence than it deserves. Second, "Would she make me happy?". Repeat that 10x and slap yourself for such a ridiculous premise. As if, anyone, ever, could ever, be responsible for your happiness but yourself.

[–]musicvita25 2 points3 points4 points 12 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

He's only been with one girl and his dad calls him "selfish."

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points4 points 12 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

All the chicks on my Facebook are sharing this fucking article. What a bunch of bullshit. This dude is King Beta.

[–]bedfordfalls 2 points3 points4 points 12 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

I think he's sped past the Beta zone into uncharted schmuck territory. He sounds like the kind of fucker who brings an acoustic guitar to a party.

[–]bedfordfalls 0 points1 point2 points 12 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

Just read this whole thing in full. Man oh man. It's like one of those Onion parody op-ed pieces, but horribly horribly real.

[–]littleangrylotus 0 points1 point2 points 12 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

Wow, This makes me rethink the way i act towards my bf. Thank you OP

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