Marriage Struggles

kidbagz · 2017-07-29T17:47:53+00:00

I would advise you to find some hobbies / activities that you like to do with other people that do not involve her. The idea here is to spend less time with her and more time focusing on yourself.

From reading your posts it seems to me that you are WAY to focused on her, her feelings, her wants and her needs...

YOU come first. Your goals come first, your needs come first. Focus on yourself and increase your self esteem. DO NOT measure you self worth against your marriage, or whatever you think will make her come back to you.

Yes, it sounds selfish.... But you said it yourself "selfishness and masculinity is what made her attracted to me...."

Do not do things to try and save the marriage. Do things to advance yourself and the rest will follow.

You have to stop giving a fuck about "if I do X maybe she will react in Y manner and improve our relationship"

Realize that change is the only constant and use thia to better yourself.

TRP will NOT help you save your marriage... It is not what TRP is about. TRP and all its teachings will help you become a better man, realize yourself and live a life that makes you (not others) fulfilled... happy side effects will come from that. It could be your marriage becomes more fulfilling, or that you realize you want something / someone else.

Do not try to use TRP to solve your problems. TRP is here to show you that there is more to life than relationships and fake achievements...

mytrpname · 2017-07-29T17:51:29+00:00

180s for both good reason make me think she's the one cheating.

Reading your description the advice "would you fuck you?" Is what comes to mind.

I know I wouldn't fuck me. So off to the gym I go. Maybe to get some nice clothes too.

GrandpaLeiho · 2017-07-29T15:16:30+00:00

Your smv increased, Competition will set into your wife just make sure the law of state transference applies to her. Court her and date her without outcome dependence. Look into other natural T boosters also.

Dnice413 · 2017-07-30T01:59:16+00:00

A women should never be the focus of a man's life, they should only be a compliment

The Rationale Male

KyfhoMyoba · 2017-07-29T20:58:51+00:00

It's important for your wife to know that you could cheat, not that you have* cheated. And the way you do this is by showing, not telling. Let her see with her own eyes the waitress flirting with you.

Beta males mate guard, alpha males disregard.

OracleofFl · 2017-07-29T20:18:13+00:00

I have a slightly different take on this: OK, you SMV plummeted and she lost interest. Now your SMV is up and she will fuck you again (daily). AWALT!

First of all, there is no "love of your life". That is oneitus thinking and we don't engage in that here.

Second of all, your saying that she is only turned on when she is accusing you of fucking other chicks may just be her fetish. Maybe she is signalling you that she wants you to give her hot dirty talk about fucking other chicks, maybe she has a fantasy about watching you fuck another chick. Maybe she wants you to tell her about the cute chick in the gym who you want to fuck because you know she likes you and likes it in the ass. It could mean a lot of things.

Third, you aren't a kid anymore. What you are doing in the gym is working on your wife and you are getting gains, cut the bullshit about juicing.

Fourth and finally, TRP is about you. Not about getting your oneitus in line.

0signal0 · 2017-07-29T15:06:51+00:00

Your marriage is over the moment you think that doing something like cheating is going to save it.

Yes, you are retarded. Lifting and taking care of yourself and your image is not TRP, it is common sense.

AideDou · 2017-07-29T19:25:02+00:00

Start working out again, use dread game. Maybe even tell her that you know shes shit-testing you and demand that she stops if it gets bad enough.

Hope you got a prenup.

Thotwrecker · 2017-07-30T01:33:08+00:00

The end goal of TRP has to be something you produce, we cannot define it for you. What do you want? Stop with the "how will my wife react to me doing X, will it get a good TRP response?"

Do you want to be fucking other girls? Fuck other girls. Weigh up the consequences and risks - divorce, etc - with the potential rewards, make a decision, and be a man and accept the risk / rewards as they come.

Quit being a permission boy. Do what you want to do deep down, and if you don't know what that is, we can't help you.

Your woman doesn't respect you because you don't have life purpose and you aren't on track to achieving success. That is the bottom line - if you are going to the top, she will be adoring regardless of what you do. If you fuck another girl because you want to get her approval because we told you it will make her see you as more alpha, you won't win her respect long term.

If your end goal is to save your marriage, she will eventually pick up on the fact that you need something from her - you are still dependent upon a positive reaction from her, and she can always withhold that to get what she wants.

Don't run dread game; actually do what you want and prepare for both outcomes. Prepare yourself mentally and financially for a divorce, and prepare yourself for the marriage to improve.

Then you gain real dread game - also known as outcome independence. This is the key. Not needing it to work because you are mentally set either way.

"Use that boost to keep our marriage lit" - that is one of the most hamstery things I've read on here. You don't fuck a side bitch because you want a gamified boost to your wife dread statistic; you fuck a side bitch because you want to enjoy some side pussy. You're goal can't be to keep your marriage "lit" - it has to be for your life to actually transform into something that will satisfy you, and as a result, be a life that drags in women. Building a strategy around gaming your marriage / wife is like a company building it's entire strategy around one key client. No matter how RP that company might be, the client knows damn well the company is dependent upon the client, and the client has all the power.

The goal of TRP is not to make your wife forget that she holds your balls, it's for her to actually not hold your balls.

You're on the right track. Despite the criticism, it's 100% better to do something than to do nothing, and you did something and got a good result after years of shit.

MistahGustitues · 2017-07-29T15:42:34+00:00

Yes, you are retarded.

Honor your fucking commitment and don't cheat on your wife. Idiot.
The "side piece" is going to be your one-way ticket to a family law court and sending alimony checks. Even if you don't really care about your wife, think about your own wellbeing. Don't fucking do that shit.
You'll get plenty of T from the gym.
Probably try to increase your income.

edit: formatting

MattyAnon · 2017-07-29T17:47:56+00:00

Personal questions belong on asktrp
You're an idiot if you stay married to this woman who shows you no loyalty and requires dread to stay interested in you. Actually all women require dread to stay interested, it's fucking dumb to be married or stay married and spend the rest of your life in "trying to make it work" mode (which she senses).
Asking strangers on the internet whether or not to do steroids is stupid and pointless - make your own decisions.

astepcloser101 · 2017-07-29T15:27:26+00:00

Typical marriage advice : Never get married.

shakespeareSMG · 2017-07-29T23:00:25+00:00

Chateau Heartiste:

Always have two in the kitty

IlIlIlIl1Il · 2017-07-30T11:42:22+00:00

Some thoughts:

Anyone over the age of 30 should not be saying shit like "cuz swole" Sit on that for a while. Your woman sees this part of you and this may be a part of your problem.
She married you and you changed...for the worse. Wouldn't you feel contempt for her if she gained a lot of weight and got lazy?
Cheating is wrong when you are married. Not because of the sex but because of the lie. Men do not need to lie. If you want to fuck someone else, you tell her you are fucking someone else and let the chips fall as they will. Lying is normal, but mainly for pussies in all but a few select situations.
Your selfishness is not what she wanted. It is your masculinity. You are confused and this is a huge problem. Do you not see this? Being focused on oneself and being selfish are two different things.
Taking steroids is not a good idea unless you have a very good reason for doing so. Your reason is lame. Strength does not come from a bottle, it comes from within.
You have not mentioned children. If you have them, you need to rethink things a bit. It is no longer about you and your woman. It is about your children and setting a good example for them - especially if you have a boy(s). Think about that, and the rest should follow.
This sub is not for married people. There are other subs for that and you know this. Go there and get off here. This is also a part of your problem.
You are online instead of being out and about IRL. There are outdoor hikes, mountains, beaches, backyard, parks, carnivals, concerts/live music, and thousands of other things to see (assuming you live in the US in a populated area). Be a fun man, be an active man, be a man who cares more about living than pursuing bigger biceps and getting laid. Be a better person and the rest should follow.
If you are married and your woman disrespects you in this way, it will be very hard for her to go back. Losing respect is hard to bounce back from. Getting "swole" is a temporary boost, but does not garner respect. Respect and trust are key to a LTR. If this does not work in your relationship, then you married the wrong woman.
Shit test stop (or at least slow down) when you shut them down. Constant shit tests are a symptom in a relationship, but they are also a feature of a woman. Women who respect their man do not shit test nearly as much as those who do not. Treat the underlying condition, and the shit tests will ease up (they never really go away).

Final thought: Going to the gym is a tactic - not a strategy. The tenets of TRP are the strategy. You cannot just pick a technique and cross your fingers. Adopt the whole thing. Embrace it and inculcate it into every fiber of your being. That will get you ready for the divorce that is clearly ahead of you.

Analgruppenfuher · 2017-07-30T21:53:44+00:00

set up a situation where you buttslam her, then immediately after you jizz say you are going to the bathroom to clean up but actually, lock the bathroom door from the inside and crawl out of the bathroom window, delete and block on everything and ghost.

DentyneWhite · 2017-07-30T04:18:11+00:00

First of all, this belongs on AskMrp.

2nd, your problem relates to frame. You are in her frame and that isnt gonna work whether you lift or get a side piece or not.

When you fix that, it wont be necessary to fuck other women to keep her inline. It may be fun though but if you cant manage your wife than adding more unmanaged women isnt gonna be pretty

stompie5 · 2017-07-30T09:48:05+00:00

There is a redpill sub for married men you should check out.

redpillrobby · 2017-07-31T04:26:47+00:00

She literally looks down on me unless she thinks I'm sleeping with other women or some other chick shows interest in me. Then it's a 180 degree turn where I'm getting nice dinners, back rubs, and bjs.

Ha! Did you come here just to vindicate my other post??? I love it!!!

Pplegault · 2017-08-03T16:43:00+00:00

This happened to me. Wife gets most turned on when she thinks I've got side-plates. When I have oneitis for her and lack abundance, she loses respect for me. (1) get yourself in shape - not for her, but for yourself; (2) Do your best at work, but DGAF if market forces beyond your control knock your income down - adjust your expenses and carry on; (3) game other women; she wants to feel that you're a prize. If no one else wants you, she doesn't get the social validation of being with you.

Title	Marriage Struggles
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	20
Comments	52
Date	July 29, 2017 2:39 PM UTC (8 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/TheRedPill
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/TheRedPill/comments/6qbad3/marriage_struggles/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/TheRedPill/marriage-struggles.44985 https://theredarchive.com/post/44985

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