This is my first contribution (or so I hope at the very least) to TRP.

There is the probability that his will go unread for the most part; no big deal, just having a chance to share is enough for me.

Please don't be too kind, if you read some BS call it and we'll talk it through, I greatly appreciate constructive criticism and other points of view.

It has probably been explained already in another thread, but I wanted to give something back to this awesome community so bad after months (years?) of lurking. So here I am typing.

Also, despite the title, this is not a OnePlus One ad.

Summary: never settle for anything lower than your SMV.

Body: damn ,this is going to be long. Wall of text incoming. Apologies.

Anyway, let's try and give a quick background on how and why I got this thing going on.

It started when I got mildly drunk on Jack Daniels this last weekend (kudos to me having light dinner before going for drinks), and I managed to brilliantly fuck up but also put an end to a weird situation I had with a girl.

Allow me to explain.

She's the kind of girl that drowned me with a nice dose of good signals, that I'm not going to fully write here, and yet I wasn't completely sure if I truly wanted to go forward with her for several reasons.

Sure I kinda liked her to the point that I enjoyed spending more and more time with her, but it felt always "weird" to progress and I couldn't explain that to myself at that point in time.

I mean, she has a good personality, but not necessarily my fav body type - IOW she's ok looking but not exactly fit and sometimes she behave like a fucking dumbass anyway AWALT .

Add moar problems regarding her "job" situation, and her still doing roomsharing in an apartment where she's been with no internet for over 2 months (and still counting) with other 5 or 6 weird-as-fuck people, all because she can't afford her own place, and you should have a clear picture on why I never decided to do anything serious with her.

Despite me showing barely any interest and disappearing for long periods of time (from a week to 2 months) while ignoring her, she would constantly ask me out every weekend for drinks and shit. Sometimes, out of wanting to do something new, I decided to accept.

During the night she would eye-fuck me and admire me accidentally flexing my biceps while having nice interesting conversations and clearly showing interest.

Then out of nowhere she would pointlessly chicken-out at some point near the end of our "dates" suddenly making it harder for me to close, as I immediately lost interest.

Inconclusive bullshit, and a complete waste of my precious time. I hate when this happens

Still, she asked me out again and again, both alone or with her friends; and then sometimes I accepted, and the story repeats itself over and over. Fuck me, right?

"But then why were you still attracted to her, bro?"

Long ass boring story, let's just say we knew each other for a looong time and I liked her overall personality.

Or so I thought, until we hang out with some of her friends last Saturday night.

But first, let me take a sel we need to do a very quick background check on me /bragging intensifies:

Italian, 26, career in Finance (Project Finance Analyst at the moment), make enough cash to have my own place in Rome with enough left for clothes/gym/tech/fun + a healthy fat backup-stash of savings, good looking, gym-rat bro #TeamSwole, first to graduate of my whole Uni Economics course, been playing guitar for +10 years and make music when I can, speak 4-5 languages, traveled through whole West and Central Europe, lots of hobbies and shit, blablablajuststopbragginglikealittledouche.

Let's just say that on paper, I might be an 8 on average, no more than 8.5 right now.

Now, if this girl and I were to be weighted based on our value and you put us on a scale, it would fucking crush under my weight and she would rocket out in the sky orbiting near Ur-anus.

You should see now where I'm going with this: I inadvertently took the bait on a girl that has lower SM value than me.

This is bad, toxic for you and for everyone else too; that's the whole point of this post.

Disclaimer: don't consider this some Anger Phase stuff now, I'm still putting my thoughts in context for you to better understand the process I went through. I still laugh at this shit daily with good heart and couldn't care less.

Back on point.

After somehow getting drunk on JD (dumb) I somehow ended up alone with her and somehow confronted her (dumb2 ) about the mixed signals she was somehow giving me (dumb3 ), as I had enough of this inconclusive bullshit (finally) and wanted to end this, be it in a good or bad way.

Here comes the super funny hamstering part, aka the bullshit she threw at me when I confronted her with the issue at hand:

  • she wanted it to be "just friends" from the very beginning, and she put lot of effort and attention in making this clear (Error 404 not found)
  • she doesn't want anything from me (see next point)
  • she always asked me out only out of pity (!) as she thought me being new in town and by myself, I would've liked to hang out with her and her friends to do something different and new and fun.
  • (I assume) she doesn't like me / doesn't see me in a sexual way (her vagina would disagree)
  • miscellaneous nonsense explanations including why the earth is round, how oxygen is bad for our health because it rusts iron and jet fuel can't melt steel beams.

TL;DR: a giant silo full of smelly BULLSHIT2 rated 0.5 greasy dog kebabs out of 10.

MRW I had to literally stand there for minutes and hear this shit?

Laughed right in her face while she was still unsure at dafuq was happening or how to react, call her bullshit as complete nonsense, hugged + kissed her and said goodbye, went home, and after a good 4.5h of sleep and taking a glorious crap, I decided to delete her number and never ever contact her again.

It all made sense, at last, while sitting on the toilet and staring at a white wall of eternal nothingness listening to BMTH - That's The Spirit in background.

The question I asked myself right there was: how and why would you dare to settle for something clearly lower than your mark?

Being a TRP member/lurker, and knowing self-improvement is key to be a better fully functional man in this messy society, you must have your mentality wired to strive constantly for the best you can get, meaning >= your SMV (applies to other stuff too, like career options etc.).

But most importantly: realizing that she is only using you and your SMV to get herself a higher SMV.

Assuming she's a 6 and you're an 8, the mean value between you is 7.

She gets a free +1 SMV while you have a -1 decrease.

She gets instantly a better opportunity at the CC, while you see your value diminished.

Well, how hard did you work on your SMV?

How many days have you spent reading, studying, traveling, hitting steel at the gym, improving your self in every possible aspect or discipline?

Can you feel and/or quantify the effort you put in since the day you started?

If yes, ask yourself: do you owe it to anyone else besides you?

Maybe your mentor, a particular close friend, brother or your RP parents, yeah sure thing. But everyone else?

They did nothing, or perhaps the only real thing they did was talking crap in order to slow you down and make you fail.

You had to work hard, avoid this stuff, put the sweat and blood and tears and use the limited time at your disposal to improve.

And you eventually did it, bravo. You made it to the top XYZ%.

And now you waste it on some random girl that sees your SMV and randomly decides she hasn't hit the wall (yet), the CC is still spinning fast, and she can get an upgrade to business class from her shitty economy ticket just by simply appearing on your side when she's out.

And there goes your effort. To the shitter. Or more precisely, straight to her.

Let's face it: you owe her nothing. And here is the fun part: she knows it, too.

She knows so damn well that you're better at most stuff, that SMV is strong in you.

And she almost fears you, cause now you're the prize.

She means shit to you, you could have a 8 or a 9 as that's what matches you in terms of value and what you sould naturally look for.

BUT, stupid you, you give her a 0.000000001 of attention and she's done.

You lower your standards, she automatically feels enabled to impose her self over you.

Now she can have anything that's better than you because, even if unwilling, you indirectly told her: you're at my level!

She's a 7 and you're an 8? If you give her enough attention, she will instantly achieve a SMV >= 8 for no reason.

This is bad for you, but it is for others too.

You just turned a lower 7 to a higher 8.5/9 without her actually being it. There is collateral damage.

You gave her the validation she craves, her favourite dogfood, and you made her more valuable, and guess what, she didn't have to work for it. She didn't earn it. You made her earn it for free. You made her feel entitled, and reverting the process is a mess.

All the 6/7 dudes who could approach her and get laid, are now automatically less valuable then her.

There goes your effort + their effort too, you created a monstrous warpig that will probably end up still single at 35, will then proceed to hit the wall and marry out of desperation the first BB she sees down the road.

This happened to me, and I had the luck to eject asap before going even deeper with this endless/useless situation.

Don't make my mistake.

Lesson(s) learned:

  • don't settle for anything that's lower than your SMV, you have little to no use for it.
  • always aspire for the best you can get. There's always something better: go and find a way to get it.
  • while you go for the better, always be grateful for what you have and never underestimate yourself or your achievements. You have more value than you think.
  • don't let other people strip you of your SMV. You earned it, protect it.
  • respect your Mr.Schlong, he has feelings too.
  • "LOLOL FUCK FATTIES WHILE I WAIT FOR MY UNICORN YOLO" is bad. Don't do that, have respect for yourself (see point above).