I'm thankful I have found this important resource. I'm in a LTR: 4 years dating/living together and 7 years married. I'm 43 and she's 38. Focus on young kids and job over the past 6 years has left my fitness and game to decline. During this time I've seen an increase in shit-testing, bitchiness, and a general decline in intimacy. I didn't understand what was happening. Since I have come here, I can sense her appraisal of my SMV is declining. My confidence has been bled away and I've become headspun. The result is I'm in a constant state of barely controlled anger. I started practicing holding frame and I'm pleased to report it works. Yesterday she picked a fight with me - I held frame. She acted in a disrespectful way - I held my anger, sat her down, and told her what my expectations were. She agreed that she was out of line. She started acting in ways that were intended to make me suspicious - I ignored her. She confronted me about holding frame: "Are you mad at me?" - "Not at all. (smile)". Then the payoff: she admitted "she acts crazy sometimes" and gave me more attention that she has in months. This is abnormal. She never admits fault and holds herself to by hyper-rational.

Thanks for your support of this sub. It's been a big help thusfar. Looking forward to learning more and mastering techniques I need to be successful.