Notes From the Matrix

Episode 1: Boomerang Babes

So I was having dinner with a fellow TRPer when I got a text from a buddy:

“I am absolutely sick of your being right about everything.”

This was followed by a text from his recent ex, to the effect of “I don’t want to get back to together but I really would like to have sex with you, tbh.”

I had predicted this, and, as often happens, I was right about it – I told him, right after the breakup, to expect it. She was getting a bit antsy, he’s a proven performer and, because she has already fucked him, he doesn’t raise her N-count. She could fuck him every day for 10 years straight and she’s still N+0.

Her: “I can come see you and I’ll leave tomorrow or even later tonight, it’s just that I’m really horny.”

He texts us back as to whether or not he should let her stay the night. My dinner companion: “That depends on how he feels about morning sex.”

Him: “Fair point.”

He let her stay over, and he tapped it again in the AM.

Takeaways: Girls are like boomerangs – they come back to you, for what a buddy of mine refers to as “The Good Part of the Relationship”, because all you do is meet for sex, no dating, no drama. Don’t do anything stupid, like catch feels, and expect it to last only a little while before the new rubs off and the old shines through, and whatever the problems were re-emerge. Enjoy it while it lasts, and then move on.

Episode 2: “Say you’ll suck my dick.”

So lately, I have noticed an uptick in girls qualifying themselves to me. One of my regulars was texting me and why there was an interruption in my response and I (truthfully) said, “I was loading the dishwasher.” Her: “That will be my work in the future.”

Me: “Well, really, you will be more in charge of making sure my dick is sucked. Loading the dishwasher I can handle. But performing light housework after that is certainly ok.”

Another girl I met while vacationing in Europe (she’s a Finn; we had a “meet cute” in Switzerland.) She’s straight out of Nordic/Scandinavian Central Casting: Tall, blonde and good-looking, with a ‘make-work’ job in HR that she’s not at all excited about, but hey, I don’t give a shit about her job, and…she’s hot.

I did a cold read on her (tall, feminine, introverted) and – SURPRISE! – (although not to me), she’s sexually submissive, so, after building rapport, I did my patented, “By the way, I know you’re secret” move. This played out over classic lines, her saying “What secret?” me saying, “You know, your secret. The one you’ve been hiding from since your teenage years.” I let her run for a bit and then let her “draw it out” of me. It’s better if they have to work a bit for it, then I fired the kill shot, and told her.

Pro Tip No. 1: They often won’t bother to deny it, at first. So I let them talk and then point out that they didn’t deny it. Boof!

Pro Tip No. 2: They will almost universally want to know how I knew. The response is: “I am a hunter, I know my prey.” This usually gives them a shiver of fear/anticipation, so I will sometimes provide comfort by pointing out that it is her nature and there is nothing to be ashamed of. In fact, she should be happy because now (finally!) she is in the hands of a Man Who Knows What To Do With Her.

Having gone through the above, she said, “Wow. That was a bold question.”

Me: “It wasn’t a question. It was a statement of fact.”

Her: [tingling!] “I love your confidence!”

Anyway, she is back in Finland, now, but she has family in the States and will be coming over soon, and has been texting me regularly since I got back because reasons. If it’s convenient, I will pick up her option, but we’ll see. At some point she asked me what time it was (near 5pm, as it turns out). Her: “If I was there, I would be cooking dinner for you right now.”

Me: “Yes, you would be. Naked.” Well, with an apron and heels, but you get the point.

So why the noticeable uptick? So the only thing I have been doing differently is hitting the gym more. It’s noticeable (to me, anyway) in my arms – the pipes are getting bigger – and chest. Other than that, nothing else is different, so “Calculatus Eliminatus” would dictate that’s it.

Takeaway: Fortune favors the bold.

Final Lessons:

-Enjoy the Boomerang Babe, but don’t catch feels.

-Fortune Favors the bold.

-Lift.