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serb1991
[–]Endorsed ContributorRedPillDad 33 points34 points35 points 12 years ago (8 children) | Copy Link
The more successful you get, the less you'll have in common with average schlubs. Even those in your medical class will be mostly academic dweebs with no fitness regiment and a poor social life.
Friendships require maintenance. Better to travel light right now. You'll soon be in the winner's circle where everyone wants to be your friend.
[–][deleted] 4 points5 points6 points 12 years ago (7 children) | Copy Link
That's the thing though...I'm top 10% of my class. I study quite a lot and love what I do. The problem is that most people in my class don't care about academia or medicine (most people are here because mommy and daddy want a doc in the family).
[–]wait_for_ze_cream 3 points4 points5 points 12 years ago (5 children) | Copy Link
It could be that your sense of superiority is off-putting to them and they don't want a friend that is so belittling? I think most of us just want friends that make us feel happy y'know
[–][deleted] 12 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link
[permanently deleted]
[–]wait_for_ze_cream 5 points6 points7 points 12 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
I'm not offended at all though, I'm just trying to give a reason why he might have trouble making friends. I wouldn't feel like I wanted to hang around someone who spoke about me like that, would you?
[–][deleted] 12 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]wait_for_ze_cream 4 points5 points6 points 12 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
I think you know that's not what I was talking about. Who said anything about friends being bitchy behind your back, or about a friends' honesty? I'm just talking about people who have a very low opinion of you. It's not healthy to have people as 'friends' if they think you're beneath them.
Do you have any great friends that look down on you?
[–]happyhorse_g 6 points7 points8 points 12 years ago (5 children) | Copy Link
Eastern Europe can be extremely insular. I believe Poland is the least diverse nation in Europe. But take this as a life lesson. Enjoy the aloneness because in my experience your friends can't be relied upon. They are great and you love them, but your lives' will diverge leaving you to simple suck up your own problems.
I've not been stuck in a foreign land and been all alone for such a long time, and through tough study too, so I sympathies with your situation. But this is a harsh lesson that you'll learn sooner or later, faster or slower.
[–]1lucifa 2 points3 points4 points 12 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
The Polish I've met, which is distorted as they're immigrants not native, have been naturally more open and friendly than the natives here in the UK. They're also very blunt and direct with their views, which may come across as cold and insular to those unfamiliar with the culture.
[–]selfsufficientnigga 1 point2 points3 points 12 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
He's in Romania.
[–]papadop 0 points1 point2 points 12 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
Sounds like you don't have good friends man.....Good friends are basically brothers and ultimately worth more than any girlfriend. Its also great to have a group of male friends, you have more fun hanging out and joking around.
As for your lives diverging, that depends on where and when friends are from.
[–]happyhorse_g 0 points1 point2 points 12 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
And in this context, they aren't there. He'll see them when he returns, unless they visit. So he's getting on with it.
I have great friends, many for life. But they are not expected to move with my life, just to support my and guide me when I ask.
[–][deleted] 0 points1 point2 points 12 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I can also say I have great friends that I intend on keeping for life. However, I feel the need to have more "relevant" daily-basis friends with whom to share things. While my friends across the ocean are great, it's difficult to remain relevant to eachother as long as we're physically separated for this long.
[–]selfsufficientnigga6 points 12 years ago* [recovered] (4 children) | Copy Link
You are a foreigner (a Serbian in Romania, I guess?). You are there temporarily.
What do you offer to those 'exceptional people' that you want to have? I mean, on the surface. Maybe you are exceptional as well, but how do they see it? They just see an entitled exchange student who will be gone soon, why would they waste their time and effort?
[–][deleted] 1 point2 points3 points 12 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
No I'm Romania.
[–]meetmick 7 points8 points9 points 12 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
Answer the question you subject diverting elitist!
[–][deleted] 3 points4 points5 points 12 years ago* (1 child) | Copy Link
You make a good point. I would hope that someone that I consider valuable would see the value in me just through basic communication. It's quite evident within the first 5 minutes of meeting someone where they stand socially and emotionally (although exceptions do exist). At this point we come to a fork in the road; either I'm so valuable that those around me seem boring, or not valuable enough to entice those people of value to waste their breath.
As far as what I offer, others in the past have noted that they appreciate my sense of humor and how I analyze the world. I enjoy friendships where we can sit for hours and discuss the finer points of a random aspect of society, or whatever really. Otherwise I like traveling and adventure, willing to try new things, etc.. This is starting to sound like an OKCupid profile.
[–]meetmick 2 points3 points4 points 12 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Sounds like you want to be valued over being considered a friend. Friends value what's there, and drive each other to becoming more of something; what you seem to be doing is seeking power-partnerships which is never as fulfilling.
I also have the same problem, so just read this as my personal lesson/viewpoint insofar.. I may be off
[–]riverraider69 2 points3 points4 points 12 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Back home, I had a small but tight group of friends, all of whom are passionate, driven to succeed, and very intelligent.
Might want to consider the possibility that what you're looking for is a rare thing. And doubly rare in Eastern Europe, where such people either emigrated or went into entrepreneurship.
[–][deleted] 1 point2 points3 points 12 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I really hope you're wrong.
[–]papadop 1 point2 points3 points 12 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
A quick suggestion is to try joining a team sport, (Youre a Serb so try basketball, its in your DNA)--- you create bonds with people by playing together on a team.
Also try to initiate contact more to hang out. Throw a party. It sucks because there will be dissapointments, but gradually it comes together.
RP does not stress the benefits of comraderie enough in my opinion.
Lol Im not a Serb. And I'm of average height, like 5'10. Also I have attended many parties and gatherings. Just havent connected. I'm not timid either.
Read the 48 laws of power
[–]foutight 1 point2 points3 points 12 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
Call your close friends from back home and reconnect with them. Losing touch isnt a excuse in todays world (fb, skype, etc)
[–][deleted] 1 point2 points3 points 12 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
The unfortunate reality is that connections break over long distances. I'm very busy most of the time, and so are my good friends. Add on differences in time zones, and we're basically always unavailable to eachother.
[–]foutight 1 point2 points3 points 12 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Thats weak. Time zones dont matter for emails and you can answer them when u have time.
Have u told them how you feel? Or do u just assime they dont want to hear from you cause you havent talked in a while?
[–][deleted] 4 points5 points6 points 12 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
E-mails just aren't the same. The vibe you get being around that person matters a lot. There's only so much feeling you can get out of text.
[–]RPModulator2 points 12 years ago* [recovered] (3 children) | Copy Link
I noticed that you mentioned music. My experience in this regard is completely US based, and as such may not translate. However, depending on the genre of music you are into, one possibility is to hit up Craigslist, or Meetup, or the equivalent there, and look for people to jam with (CL) or meetups, which can be discussions/presentations, or just an organized night out to drink and hear some live music.
This is a great idea. But I mostly work with electroncic music. I can definitely try to find others who do the same here. However, given that Romania is a poor country, only the richest can afford even small studios. From my experience so far, rich kids here are not very pleasant to be around. But who knows, I'm definitely going to give it a shot!
[–][deleted] 12 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
I've tried this. Haven't felt the chemistry. I had small groups of friends for the past two years but they all drifted away.
[–]otiswild 1 point2 points3 points 12 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
You think it's bad now, just wait until your crew starts getting hitched and having kids.
OTOH, being free of attachments, and thus free to break away and take risks, is a benefit. It's hard to follow your dream away from your comfortable circle of friends, but not being able to hang (and commiserate as you no longer share life experience) reduces the pain of that quite a bit.
[–]889889771 1 point2 points3 points 12 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I can't seem to find people whose company I deeply enjoy for the life of me. I just can't connect with others... I can't unsee dispassionate men as being weak.
I feel you. It's good for you to be physically and mentally fit. One aspect of being mentally fit is tolerance for difference. I wouldn't say "lower your expectations" - instead, try and see the people you're around in different positive ways. You probably have characteristics to offer them that they don't have, and they probably have some to offer in return.
Yeah, it's slow going to turn acquaintances to friends... but keep on chipping away. Good luck!
[–]jakethesnake76 0 points1 point2 points 12 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
http://www.returnofkings.com/32710/men-must-find-their-own-male-space
i would like to help develop these type places for men to meet in, i develop friends with men and it takes time, i drop RP hints and see who sees it, and develop from there.
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[–]Endorsed ContributorRedPillDad 33 points34 points35 points (8 children) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] 4 points5 points6 points (7 children) | Copy Link
[–]wait_for_ze_cream 3 points4 points5 points (5 children) | Copy Link
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[–]wait_for_ze_cream 5 points6 points7 points (3 children) | Copy Link
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[–]1lucifa 2 points3 points4 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]selfsufficientnigga 1 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]papadop 0 points1 point2 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]happyhorse_g 0 points1 point2 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]selfsufficientnigga6 points [recovered] (4 children) | Copy Link
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[–]meetmick 7 points8 points9 points (2 children) | Copy Link
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[–]riverraider69 2 points3 points4 points (1 child) | Copy Link
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[–]foutight 1 point2 points3 points (3 children) | Copy Link
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[–]foutight 1 point2 points3 points (1 child) | Copy Link
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[–]RPModulator2 points [recovered] (3 children) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] 1 point2 points3 points (2 children) | Copy Link
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[–]jakethesnake76 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link