I found TRP a few weeks ago, and I'm grateful. I also feel overwhelmed.

My initial reaction to TRP was elation. Finally, there existed a community able to explain why dating/sex life seemed so screwed up. I had tools and people to empower me to understand and grow.

I began applying what I read on TRP, and it worked. It worked amazingly well. My girl at first said I was being a "jerk" or an "asshole" or whatever, but she started fucking me more. She touched me more, hanging on me in public. She fawned over me like a little girl over her hero.

But now I've realized a greater reality: this woman, whom I thought I loved and would love me, is essentially a psycho who will never love me in the way I want. And the likelihood of another woman doing so is very small, too. Beyond that, my blissful ignorance has been shattered in that I now cannot help but think she's cheated on me. This doesn't have anything to do with her individually but that women in general seem to feed without end on attention. I cannot trust her to be my wife, have my children, and be a loyal, loving wife who will help me raise our children and live together to old age.

I also realized the past 5 years I've spent on the LTR likely have been a waste of so much time, energy, and money.

This feels to me like a sort of nihilism. I can't figure out how to cope with it all. Can you all help a brother out?

Thanks for reading.

TL;DR - I can't cope with reality, just like Neo. I need help with it.

EDIT: This post, as a rant, skews my relationship. This is likely due in part to some reading I did tonight, particularly on a book written about keylogging women and how women are so addicted to attention. My girl is actually probably much better than most and close to a red pill woman, and I want to be the man a red pill woman wants. There's still some BS that after reading the theory and other things on here I realized is the typical female stuff that is so confusing and frustrating. I appreciate the comments and upvotes. Thanks all.