Shit test or not?

dropit_sphere · 2013-06-12T20:20:05+00:00

It's not so much a shit test (though it is) as a basic lack of respect. The specific response will vary depending on the situation (for instance, your wife's parents are not responsible for what your wife did, so kicking them out wasn't an option), but what should be constant is the clarity that that doesn't fly. An intense conversation after her parents left, perhaps, and (most importantly) a reduced amount of trust on your end.

thebears1986 · 2013-06-12T20:24:22+00:00

I wouldn't classify this as a shit test. Shit tests are used to see if you are dominant enough for her.

I would say this is her showing she doesn't think you are dominant, she is in charge, and can do what she wants whenever she wants.

You are probably missing shit tests elsewhere in the relationship. You need to learn how to identify and deal with those. You also need to work on re-establishing your frame as person in charge, or at a minimum, person whose input must be consulted and taken into account before acting.

From your short description, this is how I interpret what she was thinking: "Why should I drive 2 hours to drop the kids off and waste my day? I will need to go pick them up tomorrow and waste another 2 hours. Instead I can get my parents to drive here and watch the kids while I got to Starbucks and spend money at Home Depot, then a short trip to Target."

Nutz76 · 2013-06-12T20:26:45+00:00

Not a shit test, just a general lack of good sense on her part. I suppose on a meta level it could be considered a failed shit test if you didn't make your displeasure known and advise her she fucked up. Consider this an opportunity to lead. Let her know what she did wrong and what you expect in the future.

I'm a huge fan of the captain/first officer relationship model, and if you followed it this wouldn't have happened. At a minimum she should have ran the idea by you of her parents coming down for the weekend and you'd get veto power. That's how that sort of thing works, generally speaking. You make a bunch of decisions, she makes a bunch of decisions, but with things that affect the family, even weekend logistics, both parties need to be involved in that decision.

How old is your wife and how long have you been married? Her doing this seems like a very airhead type of thing to do, so I'm guessing she's pretty young.

fauxmosexual · 2013-06-12T22:05:23+00:00

She ended up in tears after recognizing my intolerance to her lack of respect.

It looks like you did the right thing here. This wasn't a shit test, it was her exerting actual dominance over you. From the sounds of this I'd say your wife has become so accustomed to walking all over you she thinks she's the boss. Not only is putting a woman with childlike maturity in charge of your household dangerous for the wellbeing of your whole family, but she won't be happy without you dominating her and taking the burden of independance and decison making off her shoulders.

You've clearly given her far too much leeway in the past, which is why this sudden yanking her back to reality has caused her to cry. These transition periods between being beta and alpha are difficult, but for her sake and your family's sake you need to keep putting your foot down.

DaddyMonster · 2013-06-12T21:09:14+00:00

Dude, you can't pick on every little thing.

So she changed the plan. What you do instead of saying "WHAT U DONT RSPECT THE BOSSSSS?"

You say: "You know, I was looking forward to spending this weekend with you. I've had a very long week so I'm going to go spend Saturday night at <my bachelor friend's house> so I can unwind. Maybe we can do brunch on Sunday."

She will apologize to you on Sunday and give you the best blowjob you ever got Sunday night. Bitches love brunch.

Remember, you are dealing with a child. She is proud of herself that she saved herself a 2 hour trip. And you got mad at her for it.

Red pill isn't about ordering around your woman. If you're ordering her around, she doesn't want to do what you're asking her to do and will eventually resent you. It's about the woman doing what you want her to do because she shares your vision.

favours_of_the_moon · 2013-06-12T21:02:25+00:00

Tears=being manipulative.

A woman will ALWAYS ALWAYS ALWAYS tell you the shit is all just in your head. She is lying to you, straight to your face.

KetoJennic · 2013-06-12T20:40:15+00:00

I don't know if it's a shit test, but she is definitely de-prioritizing your time with her, and that's not okay. I highly doubt she genuinely thought you would be delighted by the change in plans, she was just using that to cover for her selfishness.

You should have been gracious to your guests, but definitely let her know this is not okay, and is not to happen again. Before the family's plans change drastically, you need to be consulted.

thereisnosuchthing · 2013-06-13T03:15:49+00:00

Taking your TRP mentality way too far dude.

Sometimes you need to take into account the fact that other people are just stupid. Sounds like your wife isn't the smartest person in the world and maybe was overcome with her attention being focused on a. your kids, b. her family. It happens. Don't think of it as a shit-test, if you're pathetic then you're going to get treated like it by the girl in your life, and if you're not and you're the man then your opinion is going to get treated with the respect it deserves, people are still stupid sometimes though.

Crazyjanda · 2013-06-13T18:28:38+00:00

Where the fuck do you find these women ?? Lack of the basic respect and doing the thing behind my back and not as agreed to. GTFO.

robot_army_mutiny · 2013-06-13T00:29:04+00:00

She was a bad girl. Scold her and move on.

DesiAntiFeminist · 2013-06-12T20:37:18+00:00

It's a shit test if it's uncharacteristic, unusual. If she normally doesn't bother with checking with you on small details, maybe it is not. But if she does check things with you, and calls you at work a few times a week to get agreement on decisions or help with decisionmaking, then this was effectively a shit test.

Title	Shit test or not?
Author	Boss_Monkey
Upvotes	14
Comments	48
Date	June 12, 2013 8:13 PM UTC (13 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/TheRedPill
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/TheRedPill/comments/1g7w1o/shit_test_or_not/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/TheRedPill/shit-test-or-not.4827 https://theredarchive.com/post/4827

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