I work in Korea, have been here several years. Was in a department store yesterday looking for a hat. Saw this other westerner with his wife, and something in my head just went, "beta". Most asian students and companies don't like westerners who dress or act too flamboyantly...but this guy had a leather jacket, hair too long for Korea, earring, beard...

He sees me in the checkout and his body language instantly changes. Starts talking too loud in English, drapes his arm over his wife (who seems okay but is nothing to write home about), starts kissing her cheek. (People don't normally do this in public in Korea.) Wife looks embarrassed and annoyed.

He's basically preening himself. Apparently showing off the wife/partner he could get here in Korea that he could never get back home.

I "drop" my hat on the floor and pretend to be engrossed in brushing the dust off it. But in the back of my mind I start to wonder what would happen if confronted him, verbally or nonverbally. A withering glare, for example, or if I started chatting up the wife in Korean (I speak it to an intermediate level) while ignoring him.

Just for the fun of it.

And I'm starting to notice more and more betas around me, all the time. They're everywhere. Maybe I'm changing...is this what "changing your frame" or "framing" means?