Dear friends who make me feel that I’m not alone, I want to share some suggestions that I’d made about not being a beta in a relationship. Lately I’ve been thinking that my girlfriend try to force me to be a beta, dominate and control me. Surprising part is that I could definitely stay strong and not let my frame break in real life, but my texting game was weak. This is a big threat, because most of the relationships have a digital part. I didn’t want to give up texting game, because it’s a super powerful thing if you know how to use it. Because of this, I have prepared a very brief to-do list focusing on texting, and want all of you to read and contribute. Any critiques, extras, counter-arguments are welcomed as it should be.

  • Keep It Short In Texting : I’ve figured out that I was sending a lot of messages with my girlfriend. When we talked about serious things or even daily ones, she usually responded with a couple of words squeezed in one message. But me, as an ex-Beta, was sending 5 or 6 messages as average which all included many words and information. More than that, I This kind of texting is not a friend of any of us, since it just gives the girl the signal that I was in need of attention, long messages, explanations and so on. She basically sees that I am a person who explains a lot, asks so many questions and wants answers. This is totally a submissive behaviour. Stop it. After realizing this I’ve added this to my rules file : Don’t send more than 2 messages, not more than 5 words in each.

  • Don’t Reply Instantly I was always available for my girl. Whenever she sends a message, I replied in a minute or less. To be accurate, I would say that my reply time was less than one minute on average. This behaviour seems like a good thing since it signals that you’re giving that attention to your girl, but she will only think that you’re a loser who is always available and in reach. Be a busy man, have some things to do and just postpone replying in a fucking minute. So the takeaway as you can all see is : Don’t be always available and reachable, reply a little bit later sometimes.

  • Be Dominant but Nice If you’re going to be dominant in any conversation you have with your girl, seem nice at the same time. If you look too harsh and aggressive, she will find lots of arguments to blame you and eventually start a fight. If you want to dominate her, do it sneakily. Do what you need to do, which I will explain in the latter section, but do it kindly and without waking up her demons. For example, if you reply a bit late and send short messages; you can squeeze some love words and nice things into it. It will definitely make her confused, which is a great thing to dominate someone. To keep it short, the rule is: Hide your domination with small things.

  • Control and Contribute to Your Behavior This is the most useful thing that I developed. While texting anything, question two things :

  1. Is it increasing my SMV?
  2. Is it good for our relationship? You have three answers for those : Yes, Neutral, No. If you have yes for the first, go for it no matter what you have for the second. But if you have no for the first question, don’t do it no matter what. As you can see, the second question is useless :D Always question the change in your SMV.

I’m not making this up, once my girlfriend admitted that she definitely thinks being alpha is more attractive to her, because a beta always run after her and why would she be nice to him.

I want to hear your responses!