Suicidal thoughts and intent

Triadis3 · Sat Feb 17 13:46:09 2018 UTC

You're a child.

I don't know nor care how old you are, you're still a child. Completely dependent on mommy and daddy up until a year ago, but you obviously didn't take advantage of the fact that the basics of life were being covered for you, so you were provided more free than most to figure out what you want out of life, or even make some forays into different areas to see. What did you do while having all lifes' needs taken care of?

Now here you are, taking your first tentative steps toward becoming an adult, and you are not liking the taste of personal responsibility. It's new territory. Don't like your job? Too fucking bad. Nobody liked the shitty jobs we got when first starting out...but all we're qualified for are shit jobs. It's a start, a beginning. Notice front line food service people are virtually all young? It's the first rung in the ladder. You need this job to get the money to continue to live as an adult, so you suck it up and use the knowledge that yes, it's a shit job to drive your desire to find a less-shit job. Step up to the next rung.

What did you think like would be like? Would you even want a life where everything was provided for you in perpetuity? I think you can see how that scenario creates a weak soft man...

You thought of suicide as a child because your mind was free to explore the higher levels of Maslow's pyramid, even though you did not have the emotional capacity nor wisdom to truly comprehend the ideas. Why? Because you were artificially allowed to explore up high, your parents provided the bottom three levels for you.

You're feeling lost now because you're realizing you yourself now have to build these lower levels. So you got stuck at the highest point your psyche reached in the past. There's more layers of the pyramid. There's more to life than being a drone. But you need to build the base of your pyramid before you can reach the upper levels.

You're stuck feeling the grind. Of course you think life is meaningless, a sufferfest with an anticlimactic finale. That's the secret... you have to find the reason you get out of bed in the morning. A passion, a drive, a lust for life. How? Well you have to first realize that life is what you make of it. There's no grand purpose... we're all just slowly rotting meatsacks on a tiny rock way out on a distant galaxy that's slowly being pulled into a supermassive black hole. Makes an existential crisis seem inconsequential.

But we still have to occupy the sacks, so what do you do with your time? You have years of free will to burn. Try new things? Even been hunting? BUNGEE? racing? jump into a pickup bball game where you didn't know anybody? Make soap? start a fight with a complete stranger and lose?

You'll find something you like, which will start you down a path, which will fork, and you'll decide which way to go, which leads to another.... you end up where your decisions have taken you. Just keep walking the paths you want and you'll get somewhere.

Spotlight effect. Everybody goes through this to some degree. You are not alone, you're not a speeshul sneauxflaque. Everybody can only see the world through their own lens. So we assign a lot of our inner judgements externally projected onto others. In reality, we're all just walking around in out own spotlight. And if everybody has a spotlight, that's the same as saying nobody does.

Find your passions.

Or, give up. If you do it, do it right, though. None of these pathetic cries for attention I see daily... little wrist scratches. Pathetic. Even a failure at ending themselves. And don't leave the mess for anyone else to find, selfish fuck.

Or, you could try a suicide hotline, therapy, or drugs before deciding to end it all after 1 year of adulting.

P.S. - This belongs in askTRP, but I wanted to reach you before the post is killed.

anabolic92 · 2018-02-17T10:58:18+00:00

Same here, I get those thoughts from time to time.

Like /u/Oscar_Cc I just wouldn't like to imagine the face of my mother on my funeral, so I just keep going. It affects my day to day life though, fucking serious face all the time, not feeling like interacting with people at work, deep breakdowns from time to time, just making life a non-enjoyable experience I'd say.

Seeing that here is more people like me makes me feel that maybe it's a normal thing to have those thoughts?

Pretty much like OP I have moved out, have a nice job, I hit the gym and have a decent physique but I feel like I'd be happier with more women in my life.

Seeing my own mindset, I see two big flaws that I'm unable to change:

Relying my happiness on other people (women) as a source of validation/happiness.
The lack of a real mission that makes me want to leave my bed on my free time, other than for training.

For the first I think you cannot solve it until you get enough abundance, that mental stability that you can pretty much get laid if you propose to. I do barely have the balls to approach woman even on clubs, tipsy and with clears IOI, I get paralyzed. So I guess there's no one but myself to blame.

The second one I don't know, it's more complicated and personal.

OP at the end of the day it's just chemicals in your fucking brain, I refuse to take any medication.

Stay strong and it will pass like everything in life, good or bad.

banjew · 2018-02-17T09:33:52+00:00

Many stand up comedians are actually chronically depressed people and lots commit suicide.

Medication works. You will realize what you really have: a disease no different than a stomach ache or back pain. You take the pill, go on with your life.

Beware: The pill don't work 100% of the time and you will relapse sometimes, but it's better than being on your bed unable to move all the time. Source: I was married to a chronically depressed girl.

Beware II: If you are suicidal, a woman won't make it go away magically. If anything, a woman will only get things worse. Either by being a bitch, or by being great and then leaving. I encourage you to seek medical help and just THEN get into a relationship. For sex, I would get only ONS or go whoremonging, it's great.

Also: Beware, medication for depression like SSRIs has some fucked up side-effects and maybe you are better starting with something more natural and over-the-counter like HTP-5. It's basically a serotonin supplement and you can buy it via Amazon. I take it when I'm down, and it's great.

[deleted] · 2018-02-17T10:02:12+00:00

Are you taking care of your mental and physical and spiritual health?

Escape is never far away either, you just have to start building your mentality and future prospects.

I understand you're feeling like shit right now but it will pass, just try and conquer that suicidal voice.

DanielBeckett · 2018-02-17T10:52:18+00:00

Out side of a 3-6 month stint in a LTR which I wasn’t happy in, i have never be depressed. So I can not relate truly.
From reading what you wrote you’re not doing you. You’re doing what society/parents/friends expect which doesn’t make you happy. You need to find what makes you, you and embrasses it. Learn to love you.
I can say, I’m a natural salesman who loves to win at almost any cost. Like my dead shit father, I can only have 1 or 2 true focuses at any one time in my life. Many including my ex partner battered me down to where I thought it was wrong or at least not moral. I have since learnt to accept and enjoy who I am. Now, I’m back to looking after and focusing on number 1, me. I’m damn fucking happy and couldn’t give a crap what anyone thinks.

In short, do what you want and embrace who you truely are. Live your life only for your self. In my opinion, that’s the key to happiness.

Oscar_Cc · 2018-02-17T10:18:37+00:00

Thanks for sharing your story. I also get suicidal thoughts often, although for me they started in my mid-twenties.

I won't kill myself primarily due to my parents. It would devastate them, particularly my mom. They don't deserve it.

If you are more financially stable now I suggest looking for a different job. The search will probably motivate you. Also, I have found that learning foreign languages is highly motivating as well, giving you both a sense of achievement and a valuable skill.

HATEFULretard · 2018-02-17T13:17:00+00:00

I get compelling suicidal thoughts sometimes. Normally when I'm angry, I just think about blowing my brains out in front of the person "that'll show them" but I then take a few steps back and rationally think about it.

Think about suicide is it's the ultimate final decision, there's no take backs , no nothing. Interview logically think about it if life is at its worst and it feels like there's no reason to go on, that means it can only get better from there. EVENTUALLY.

Rock-bottom might last a long time, but it will eventually get better. Suicide is a trap, sentence marry you and cut off your capabilities in life early.

The women thing? Learn game. Go pick up some body language books, and study them with pen and pencil. I did that and it helped me read people even better.

HATEFULretard · 2018-02-17T13:18:42+00:00

Gosh dammit, I use my voice to text... Where the post looks a little wonky reading between the lines, you get the meaning

Pedrao420 · 2018-02-17T13:31:51+00:00

Do not give up. Stop thinking about suicide.

Ive been there too and there is no point doing it. If you really feel suicidal, hell, just sell all you have, go for a world trip, start working with something that really interest you. If you are willing to end your life why not try every single diffefent and interesting thing there is to do before, you know? Give up on the things that make you feel bad. Goddamn turn gay if you must but do not kill yourself. Women are not going to change, but you can change.

minoc_uo · 2018-02-17T14:32:56+00:00

I read the into about being deleted and though this guy has a sense of humor. Then the stand up comedy bit....

Suicide is so final man. Better off making a drastic change then that.

padanis76 · 2018-02-17T14:44:14+00:00

Suicide is so blue pill to me. It’s the cowards way out life’s problems. Seek professional help and ways to make your life better.

OneRedYear · 2018-02-17T14:52:57+00:00

I suffered with depression most of my life. Over 30 years. The times when I was least depressed? When I was doing exactly what I wanted to do and I felt useful to myself and to others. Usually when I was creating art/music/film with collaborators. The times when I wanted to kill myself? When I was alone, not creating, zero friends, no women and most importantly, no useful mission in life.

The thing that saves me right now? My weekly dinners with my offspring who needs me even if she thinks she doesn't and my aging parents who need me. My film projects and my film bros who all rely on each other to push each other and work on each others projects. My coworkers and my employees who I mentor and help guide through the traps of having a weak beta ass department head who will sacrifice us for his own glory. If those things were gone, I would be lost. But I would find a new mission.

What is your mission? What is it that you really want to achieve? What is that impossible thing? Why are you not building a team, a family and going for it?

Also, eat right, and exercise, but you should be doing that anyway. Don't be afraid to get some help.

MedinaPharma · 2018-02-17T15:10:50+00:00

The universe is billions of years old. It existed before you were born and it will exist after you die. On the grant scheme of things, your existence is a blurb in the cosmic timeline. Why the fuck would you want to off yourself now when you’ll be dead soon enough. It’s not like you will never die, you will. You just have to wait slightly longer, but I assure you that you will get your death 100% of the time. It’s all about perspective. When you’re in a life or death situation, your reptilian brain will always fight for survival. So why not embrace your true biology and do everything in your power to survive. People commit suicide when they’re tortured, put in solitary confinement, put in extreme circumstances. You’re just acting like a little bitch. “Boo-hoo, I’ve got a bazillion first world problems and girls don’t like me”. So fucking what? You’re not being tortured by ISIS, you’re not being abused or improssoned. You’re just a little bitch, who lets face it, wants some attention. Don’t get bitter. Get better.

Title	Suicidal thoughts and intent
Author	TheScornfulEgotist
Upvotes	13
Comments	16
Date	February 17, 2018 8:49 AM UTC (8 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/TheRedPill
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/TheRedPill/comments/7y5lyj/suicidal_thoughts_and_intent/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/TheRedPill/suicidal-thoughts-and-intent.48796 https://theredarchive.com/post/48796

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