The Omnipresent Shit Test

b_dubya · 2013-09-18T17:58:04+00:00

Can always agree and amplify. - Yes, lots. - Yes, are you applying? First part of application is a kiss. - Yes, too many to count. - Yes, damn women, they keep throwing themselves at me. - Yes, how many grandchildren did you want again? (for parents). - Why, do you have someone for me to meet? Take a number.

Turn it into a nonsensical answer. Keep it vague, noncommittal, don't give away any useful info like any answer to a shit test.

shamanbard · 2013-09-18T17:53:20+00:00

"I have 5 girlfriends, actually."

euneaux · 2013-09-18T19:25:21+00:00

Or try the opposite of agree and amplify.

"No, too busy for that kind of thing."

"No, some creepy stalkers have turned me off women for now."

JohnPeel · 2013-09-18T22:30:02+00:00

Girlfriend is such an outdated term... I prefer "fuckbuddy".

euneaux · 2013-09-19T01:05:06+00:00

I can't believe nobody thought to quote Jay Z.

"I got 99 problems, but..."

RedBigMan · 2013-09-19T07:12:35+00:00

Well if it's friends and/or family you can be honest. If it's women you're meeting for potential hook ups and dating? You can always try negging.

"No, but then I haven't met any quality women lately"

This sets your frame as being the one who is selective (remember abundance mentality, there is plenty of pussy out there just not all of it is up to your standards). Most likely she'll rise to the occasion and try to prove herself a 'quality woman'.

JimmyTheIntern · 2013-09-18T17:49:09+00:00

This is a catch-22. Yes means youre lying , No means you have no pre-selection. I usually say I dont have time for a gf. Basically dsqualifying myself. And that is the truth. I dont have time for a gf.

InsaneEngineer · 2013-09-19T01:51:31+00:00

I always say "Nothing Serious". It's the truth.. I honestly don't want a serious relationship with 95% of the women I meet.

FortunateBum · 2013-09-18T20:13:50+00:00

Possible response:

In a bored/irritated tone: sigh "Too many!"

edit: I thought of a good followup. Either immediately or later in the conversation you say, "Sometimes I feel like being able to have sex with beautiful women anytime you feel like it isn't worth the trouble!"

Helmut_Newton · 2013-09-18T21:18:14+00:00

Just use Joe Pesci's line from Goodfellas:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8jcYKyTfiuE

monsieurhire2 · 2013-09-18T21:41:16+00:00

Responses:

"Just one?"

"I have many girlfriends . . . ."

"I had one just last night . . . . "

"I prefer women."

If they have a boyfriend.

"Wouldn't rather have a man; When are you going to level up to a man; A BOYfriend, huh; etc. etc. etc."

Zackcid · 2013-09-20T14:07:00+00:00

It's becoming more and more of an auto-reply for me to answer:

"It's complicated" whenever I get this shit. It's a beautiful ambiguous, yet effective answer, but feel free to try out more amusing answers. I'm thinking something like "Nah, she's just a slut" as you casually brush it off. I'm definitely gonna try this one out soon.

frequentlywrong · 2013-09-18T18:38:43+00:00

Why are people down voting a legitimate question?

trplurker · 2013-09-19T07:40:55+00:00

I've always found that correcting her question works well. Girl> Do you have a girlfriend Me> Girlfriends you mean [while looking her in the eye and communicating dominance via body language] Would you like to join in? I could see if there are any vacancies.

Then while she's laughing I say something like you ever fuck a girl before, if not you should try it out, I find it immensely fun.

Title	The Omnipresent Shit Test
Author	JimmyTheIntern
Upvotes	8
Comments	29
Date	September 18, 2013 5:39 PM UTC (12 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/TheRedPill
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/TheRedPill/comments/1mnlg7/the_omnipresent_shit_test/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/TheRedPill/the-omnipresent-shit-test.6779 https://theredarchive.com/post/6779

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