The book the Polygamous Sex by Esther Vilar is a must read for any man. Esther nailed the dynamics and interplay between men and women. I only came across the book (available as a free downloadable PDF) through a mention in another posting. I encourage all men who haven’t read it to carefully read and absorb what she is saying. It's Red Pill from a woman.

Some highlights:

  • Women want to be provided for, and they are brought up with this objective. Women value security over sexual pleasure. A woman can easily control her sexual drive to get what she wants. For a woman, sex is too valuable to waste on self-indulgence.

  • Women make conscious use of sexuality to win a man to take care of her (BB), not a man who excites her senses and her mind (AF). A woman can get her sensual excitement later, once she’s locked down a man to provide her with security. It’s all about security first with women.

  • Women don’t mind being dishonest any more than they mind being less intelligent than a man, as they want to trigger a man’s protective instinct.

  • Men and women control each other by their sexual drive, however women create a one-sided sexual dependency to extend their power over a man. The man needs the woman for sex, whereas the woman can stay cold, using their sex as bait to attract a provider.

  • A bait-and-switch plays out with the woman; she baited the man as her weapon in the sexual struggle to get what she really wants, power over, and security from, the man. Women will play sexual partner, the baiting, to achieve their goal, then especially after the birth of the first child, they no longer need to play the role of the sex partner and sex tapers off to almost nothing. She seldom sees a desirable lover in a man she choose for his usefulness as a provider.

  • Men are programmed to be a family provider. A man who wants power over women must condition his sex drive. If he succeeds, she can no longer bait him with sex into the role of provider. But men will never succeed in fully mastering his libido no matter how hard he tries, something the average woman can do without trying very hard. And women will never give up their power. So men go to the other extreme in their powerlessness, and set the woman on a pedestal to worship her without restraint.

Esther goes on a great length about what happens between men and women. The main message is that women hold the power, and manipulate the power through the raising of children, mass media and societal institutions. The deck is stacked against a man from the minute he’s born, with his early formative years being left to a woman. He will be indoctrinated.

Coming to the theme of the book, that the woman the man marries is looking for his protection and security, not to be his equal sexual partner, polygamy results. The man goes and finds another woman to be his sexual partner, but in the end just finds himself burdened with another responsibility.

There are two basic requirements for success in the sexual relationship between a man and a woman. The greatest possible physical polarity between them, and the greatest possible intellectual similarity. A woman who adopts male traits in the workplace to succeed will not attract her polar opposite man. Men will tolerate some level of stupidity in their women, but they will not tolerate a lack of polarity. Women won’t tolerate a stupid man for long, even if he’s the prime example of a masculine man.

Esther goes on to say that women sow confusion in men’s minds. Women look like adults but they behave as children. They demand passion, but remain cool. They talk of tenderness, but mean protection. Women defines true love as putting her happiness first, but every time he tries that, he is not happy with her. Every time he is happy with a women, he has put himself first.

My takeaways from Ether’s work is knowing how the game is played and the deck stacked against me. Esther sums it up nicely in saying men have a right to look for a real woman, not a simulated child, and are only making themselves victims by playing the game women have constructed. Men can make a different choice.