I broke up with my ex about five months ago. We stayed friends, I freely hooked up with other girls, but we also continued to do the same. Obviously this didn't last, and we stopped seeing each other at all. I realized that continuing to have sex with her was a huge mistake because it just caused me to stay attached, and I really screwed things up. I kept calling her, no response, texting her, the kind of stuff I wouldn't dream of doing for any girl before. I'm sure that absolutely destroyed my value in her eyes, and even in the moment, it was disgusting to me, too, that I would stoop that low.
Fast forward a few months, I've been hitting the gym hard. Seeing loads of other girls (some more attractive than her, some less), but considering everything, I should be moving on. I have multiple girls that bring me food without me asking, I have fucked all of them, and I'm always clear that I'm not going to date them. To old bluepill me, that was the dream. But I still miss my ex.
I took time off to be sad about it, I didn't try to rush things. I started lifting again, seeing other girls, spinning plates, all that stuff. I know she was wrong for me: she had many flaws that cause her to no longer be relationship material in my eyes. But I still miss her. And this isn't like a "sometimes you'll look back and miss people." I called her again last night, and I know that's completely unacceptable, but I don't know what else to do to move on.
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