Summary: 

Quick field report on the first awkward tinder date I've had since getting back on tinder. Had a tinder date in a small town while visiting that didn't go as hoped. Ejected from the date and moved on to other plans.

Body:

Matched with a HB7 who was an exchange student from Europe. Hit it off and quickly got her number. She was in town visiting her roommate's family, and was looking forward to meeting up. The date was planed and I shot a text an hour before to follow up. This is where things went south.

The plan was to have her meet me at a local bar where I would be with friends. Then from there share a few beers, games of pool and darts, escalate, take her too a nice romantic spot in the wilderness and escalate before heading home. Here's what actually happened.

  1. I agreed to meet her and her friends at the bar they were at instead of her coming to me. I stepped into her frame.

  2. There was a group of people that I awkwardly knew from my adolescents with her. They were the friends she was talking about. I wasn't able to adapt and was thrown off my game since half of them were shitfaced. The few sober ones were babysitting and it made the group dynamic just feel awkward to me.

  3. The place was too loud which made conversation tough, but it felt more like an interview. I kept asking her open ended questions trying to find things to start a light and fun conversation, but nothing caught. It was obvious there wasn't an instant spark. Too many IODs from her, including: minimal eye contact, wandering eyes, turning her body away from mine, fidgeting and playing with her drink.

  4. Very little kino and I couldn't isolate to try and move to a quieter place to hopefully shift the dynamic. The few attempts made felt kind of awkward even though she was compliant. The music was too loud making it difficult to talk.

So feeling awkward after about 30 minutes, I took the opportunity to leave when she walked away with her friend. What seemed like a solid night, quickly turned upside down.

So as I walked to my car to go meet with my friends, I couldn't help but laugh at the awkwardness I had felt. Been a long time since I've been out of my comfort zone like that. She shot me a text after I left that said, "Well, nice to meet you anyway." Haven't replied and don't think I will.

Lessons Learned:

  1. Back to the gym to hit it harder. If there isnt an instant spark, it's probably because she's not attracted to you. If you don't have abs, time to drop the cake and get some.

  2. Always maintain frame. Compromise if you have to, but always meet on your terms.

  3. Always have a back up plan. Murphy's Law states that no plan survives first contact.

  4. Don't be afraid to walk away. Shit happens. Just laugh and move on.