Tips for faking confidence?

[deleted] · Sun Mar 30 20:55:25 2014 UTC

[permanently deleted]

GayLubeOil · 2014-04-01T20:17:50+00:00

Xanex makes people not give a fuck.

[deleted] · 2014-03-31T02:46:28+00:00

I can't cite the study, but striking a confident pose is psychologically proven to boost confidence.

They did studies where they had 2 groups, 1 who were in the confident positions (tall, spread) then the other who was in the 'weak' (slumped, small) then asked them the study questions. The ones who had FAKED confident posture ACTUALLY WERE more confident.

Taking up more room, so sitting on a bench with your arms along the back spread wide to either side, or just sitting tall with on your spread knees, should boost your outlook a bit.

I think the number was 20 minutes, so try it 20 minutes early then maintain it through your outings.

TVTestPattern · 2014-03-31T14:03:42+00:00

You feel insecure because you are comparing your behind the scenes footage to everyone else's highlight reels.

sir_wankalot_here · 2014-03-30T22:06:05+00:00

By doing exactly what you are doing. Atleast you went out and did something, most people stay home and sit on thier ass.

IDK what type of person you are. I naturally look like a thug, am loud and crude. And it is hard to change first impressions. So I intentionally play that role along with the simple country boy in the big city part. I was invited to an artshow where a friend of a friend was selling their paintings. So I played stupid made some comment about how come a painting costs so much. I am always polite and call ladies Maam and men Sir, if they make some comment about it, I tell them where I come from we are poor, but atleast we can afford manners and are friendly. So they assume I am a bit of an idiot. Later on after I have broken the ice, then I start asking intelligent questions and making intelligent comments. It then surprises people since it dawns on them I am not the idiot I appear to be.

So what ever you are be yourself. Use your weakness to your advantage. No matter what you do, you can't be as good as those fancy people. So use another method.

[deleted] · 2014-03-31T03:50:20+00:00

I have a friend who excels at these kind of situations. What he does is that he shows everybody exactly how much he doesn't know about the subject.

At an art gallery, he would ask if that post modern sculpture was edible, and he would do it in the most cock-sure kind of way. He would then probably tell a story about how he created an amazing piece of art by taking a giant 20 min continuous dump in the toilet. And then go on to describe how beautiful it is.

I think my point is, if you can't fake it, then stop giving a fuck and be yourself.

CrimsonCapsule · 2014-03-31T04:05:17+00:00

Just BS with confidence:

http://youtu.be/g031x5y4JmA

icanteventhecat · 2014-03-31T04:48:26+00:00

I used to be exactly like you, trying to put myself out there and shrinking into myself. I also used to believe that confidence was only thing for which faking was as good as the real thing. WRONG. Analogy time: if you were a warrior, would you enter a duel looking like a bad ass while wielding a fake sword or looking unassuming and wielding a real sword? The former outfit may intimidate an opponent, but you will know you are not equipped to do anything should he call your bluff and make a move. In that sense, it's always important to enter situations knowing full well that you have the ability to deal with them rather than entering them looking tough and running away when things get hairy.

In your case, I suggest baby steps. Throwing yourself into an undesirable situation like an art show and pretending is a surefire way to further crush your confidence. First, say no to things you don't want to do. For example, if you aren't interested in art shows, don't go, even if some girl you like is begging you. When you're in your element, then push the envelop. Always show up early and confidently greet people as they arrive. When you're winning, cash out and realize your gains. If you're proud a small victory (e.g., you've just had a good conversation), politely excuse yourself. Let the good feeling sink in. Now, re-engage with someone else with your boost. Talking to the same people all night can wear you out.

As you get more comfortable in your element, then try things you want to do but don't usually do. Genuine enthusiasm and desire to be somewhere boost your confidence.

Thus, confidence is only useful if it translates into positive action.

z_omg · 2014-03-31T04:56:07+00:00

My tip: Accept first that you can't.

FortunateBum · 2014-03-31T21:53:31+00:00

It's ok to not say anything and be silent. It's ok to not entertain people all the time. Just relax, observe, and listen. It's better to be quiet than awkward.

Hyooge · 2014-03-31T08:34:10+00:00

Honestly, confidence cannot be truly faked. I had done so for months on end but I always still felt insecure inside. It takes a lot of effort and you can be very vulnerable because if people poke at you for being fake you will get eaten alive because your veneer frame is very likely to shatter.

The good that comes actively appearing confident is that the more you get put into situations outside your comfort zone - like the art show - you will become more comfortable and confident in that environment next time. Therefore, you must be continually pushing your limits till you know you can deal with difficult situations which in turn means you can tackle any other easier situations much better.

You must start achieving things. Constantly, big or small, getting better at something. Knowing you can do something good or well transforms your view of yourself.

Evileddie13 · 2014-03-30T21:38:36+00:00

Fake confidence...lol. That's like saying "How do I fake being a Navy Seal, Ranger, Gren Beret?" Or, for the more technically minded, "How do I fake being a plumber with thirty years of experience?" If you want tricks go to /r/seduction. What I would suggest is that you is gone your own way for a bit. Take getting pussy and being CONFIDENT, off the table. Work on you. Back in my pagan days I would say, "Give it a year and a day." Faking confidence... "How do I fake being tall, looking genius with a masters in physics that speaks 5 languages?" YOU CAN'T.

Title	Tips for faking confidence?
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	15
Comments	18
Date	March 30, 2014 8:37 PM UTC (12 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/TheRedPill
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/TheRedPill/comments/21rsw9/tips_for_faking_confidence/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/TheRedPill/tips-for-faking-confidence.13311 https://theredarchive.com/post/13311

Comments