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GoinDownDaRabbitHole
[–]the_letter_P 5 points6 points7 points 12 years ago* (1 child) | Copy Link
I am glad to see that you finally went ahead and did it. this was definitely the best course of action.
I remember when you first came here and told us and we all told you to get divorced. Just imagine if you landed in one of the other subreddits?
"GO TO TEH COUNSULLING!!1"
You'd be in even more debt and still have that woman on your back.
I think the final proof that is in the pudding of the kind of bullet you missed is that she is already fucking some other random so soon after the fact. The funny thing is she probably meant to say that cause she thought it would upset you and make you mad. If anything (when I read it anyway) it just made me smile. Like it was proving how low class a girl she is and just re-emphasised that this was the best decision you ever made.
Anyway, like we suggested on the first day, getting the divorce done is a top priority. Now you can properly put together a 'Plan'. Priorities of which should probably be based on getting a job, looking to pay off the debt and getting your living situation sorted. Along side that (if youre not already) start getting in shape, rebuilding your social/sex life and work on becoming the man you want to be.
Make sure you don't contact the ex wife (especially when she sees how accomplished you are becoming). a girl like that is toxic and will offer no value to your life.
Just keep taking it one step at a time and you'll be there in no time.
Also, keep updating your blog. I have it favorited and have been reading it from the beginning.
[–][deleted] 2 points3 points4 points 12 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
My family's response was really the "seal-the-deal" moment for me. When I told everyone, no one said "you haven't tried counseling?" Everyone gave a response along the lines of "THANK GOD!"
She found some other beta orbiter to feed feelings and emotions to. He has a kid as well, from a one-night stand. See how she likes raising other people's children. Maybe then, and only then, will she understand what it was like to be in my shoes.
Debt's going to be huge on my worry-list. Especially if my car gets repossessed. But I'm looking on the bright side that I have enough money for it to last another month so it's possible that I'll be able to keep it if I can get another job fast enough. I'll be working on a plan as soon as I'm moved into my parental's house.
Now that she can't go back on the divorce, I have no reason to speak with her. So no contact.
Just keep taking it one step at a time and you'll be there in no time. Also, keep updating your blog. I have it favorited and have been reading it from the beginning.
Thanks for reading! I'll be sure to update it so people can a) know my story b) know what it's like to go through this transformation and c) to try to show the horror-side of marriage to people.
[–]InsaneEngineer 6 points7 points8 points 12 years ago (6 children) | Copy Link
From omega to beta...
[–][deleted] 8 points9 points10 points 12 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link
Agreed, I'm still beta. And I'm not afraid to admit it. But like /u/Bro_Quest said, I'm a lot better than I used to be and I'm improving.
[–]capitan_caverna 14 points15 points16 points 12 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
picking her up?! lunch?! come on man..
listening about other men she is seeing?! WTF dude, grow a pair, will ya?
[–]mo_dingo 2 points3 points4 points 12 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I agree with you completely.
On the other hand, this experience may have been cathartic for him, highlighting his mistakes, seeing exactly what he didn't want in a woman, right in his face.
[–]enticingasthatmaybe 2 points3 points4 points 12 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
This was a big step and you're taking it armed with knowledge I would have probably close to literally killed for when I was wearing your shoes.
You took the most important step, but you've got a long way to go and it's going to be hard. Very hard. Healing yourself from the abuse women can deliver takes a while. Shit, I found myself habitually avoiding things that she didn't like doing years after my divorce. I lost myself so badly that I truly couldn't see the line between what I personally liked or disliked and what I only pretended to like or dislike because of her nagging.
She will never be civil, and she has no incentive to treat you with respect. Remember that. Avoid all contact unless it is absolutely vital, and then speak as few words as possible.
Literally, word for word say; "I'm not interested, please shut up" if you find yourself in a situation where she is prattling on about her personal life.
[–]throwaway-o 3 points4 points5 points 12 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
That time you spent having lunch with your exwife?
Better have spent it with friends or other women.
[–]Bro_Quest 4 points5 points6 points 12 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
He's going up atleast.
[–]TRP Vanguardscottishredpill 2 points3 points4 points 12 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
slow clap :)
[–][deleted] 0 points1 point2 points 12 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0KpoqynjV1g&t=3m50s
[–][deleted] 12 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
[permanently deleted]
[–][deleted] 0 points1 point2 points 12 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
I've considered bankruptcy. If it gets bad (over 3 months of unemployment), I might possibly do it.
And I'm not good enough to get laid yet. More late nights with Jill.
[–][deleted] 1 point2 points3 points 12 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Stop choking your chicken.
[–]Bro_Quest 1 point2 points3 points 12 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
I see you changed the layout.
I've changed sites a lot. This is my third one now. I think this one'll stick since it's reliable and I haven't forgotten the password yet.
[–]nojustice1 1 point2 points3 points 12 years ago* (0 children) | Copy Link
"this whole marriage thing taught me many valuable lessons. I will not make the same mistake again." I hope people learn from this and don't make a costly marriage mistake.
[–][deleted] 1 point2 points3 points 12 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
Is it normal for exes to talk about their new partners. Sounds boring or antagonizing.
[–][deleted] 2 points3 points4 points 12 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
It's a covert stab at each other. In a kind of "see? I have way more SMV than you" kinda way. But, she's a promiscuous woman so she'll find any schlub that'll fuck her and boast to me about her wrongly accumulated self-esteem. As if other people wanting to fuck her was validation on her attractiveness.
[–][deleted] 1 point2 points3 points 12 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
I'm sorry you got involved with this person. She sounds like a terrible person to be acquainted with.
[–]jakethesnake76 2 points3 points4 points 12 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
No this is how women roll in the western world completely unaware of consequences. She is so lost she doesn't even know what she screwed up. Only when enough of us men wake up and say no will they become aware of how badly they shit in their own bedrooms. Every one of these type women always trade down and have to live further outside reality to cope.
[–]Immuchtooawesome 1 point2 points3 points 12 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
Congrats! Feels good the longer it is.
I'm divorced as well. Make sure you keep active and busy, it'll help you acclimate into this wonderful world easily.
I'll keep as active and busy as an unemployed white boy can be. :)
[–]LuciusExitius 1 point2 points3 points 12 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link
I like your blog keep it up, I am glad that its finally over. Never talk to her again she isn't worth your time and she will try to bring you down. I'd suggest coming up with a routine, from when you wake up until you go to sleep and follow that religiously. It is very hard to get distracted and make excuses. I just got out of a nine year relationship so I know how hard it can be.
[–][deleted] 2 points3 points4 points 12 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
Thanks, man. I appreciate it.
She's out of my life. For good. And I'll consider making a schedule.
[–]LuciusExitius 0 points1 point2 points 12 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
Does the blog help at all?
Absolutely. Like free therapy.
[–]LuciusExitius 0 points1 point2 points 12 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Makes sense.
[–]Modredpillschool 1 point2 points3 points 12 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Congrats dude. This is big news. Things only get better from here.
[–]pcadrian 0 points1 point2 points 12 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I just read the very first post in your blog (introduction to my world?). I have to congratulate you for freeing yourself from that hell. Best wishes!
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[–]the_letter_P 5 points6 points7 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] 2 points3 points4 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]InsaneEngineer 6 points7 points8 points (6 children) | Copy Link
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[–]capitan_caverna 14 points15 points16 points (1 child) | Copy Link
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[–]TRP Vanguardscottishredpill 2 points3 points4 points (1 child) | Copy Link
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