As I've moved along this journey, I've learned a good amount about relationships with women and the RP world.

Even though I am a year in, I catch myself doing BP shit that I rationally know I shouldn't do, but do anyway. I over invest in women riding the CC. I can approach and flirt some days, other days I want to be the nice dude who they want to be friends with.

After careful introspection, what I've found is that I repeat the behaviors that I was valued for displaying as a kid. Like a lot of us here, dad was gone. I had to older sisters. I was rewarded for being an agreeable boy and putting women before myself. This doesn't even begin to touch on all the bull shit that society has crammed down our throats.

My goal now is to rewrite the script. I wrote down 10 year goals recently and have decided that working towards those is where my value comes from, not being an emotional tampon. This is a new journey for me but one that I think will pay big dividends when it comes to being the best version of myself I can be.