I'm not sure if there is a better place to write this but I thought maybe someone here could help. If this isn't the right place please direct me to the right one.
So a bit of a back story. I found this cool band and started to follow them on YouTube/FB. They now have about 8,000 followers on FB. It's a small amount compared to bigger artists so I have been able to interact with the band on their posts. Random comments like others who like their posts about what songs I like, liking a post they share, saying nice work, etc. Nothing extreme.
I really started dig the band and realized I like every song of theirs and that never happens to me. I vibed with the music so hard and every single song it was unreal. Good stuff. lol. Anyway I started to feel really into the vocalist. A crush if you will. Idk I felt like I recognized his soul through the music he writes (he writes the lyrics and also his vocals and artistic expression in general speaks to me)
Also he's handsome. I thought he was handsome the whole time but it wasn't until after a few months I was feeling this crush. He would comment back to me at times or like something I said. Nothing that was a big deal but i'd get excited about it.
After a while I said maybe I'll send a friend request why not. He has almost 5,000 friends. So I sent it. Every so often I wondered about it and why he didn't accept but I figured it's because he viewed me as a random person which is understandable or a fan. I'm friends with musicians since I am one but I figured it was one of those two things. idk those were my guesses.
It didn't bother me until after a while. I decided to go on to his fb via my laptop to and view his friends. I viewed recently added and it showed many women he had recently added. Immediately I felt sad and removed my friend request.
I don't feel I'm super horrible looking. I honestly don't understand. It makes me not want to even listen to their music anymore. Not because of the idea of him not looking at me attractively but I guess because I admired this person who now seems shallow to me. I mean, if it is about looks. Maybe I'm not "ugly" to him but just not very cute? Although he has women on his list that I would say are the same attractiveness as me. Idk.
Any thoughts? I have now stopped commenting on the band posts. I will like one here and there but I feel the someone I admired and admittedly had a crush on may just be some shallow kind of guy. I do still love the music but it does make me sad to hear it thinking of all of this and bring confused. Also because I feel a connection to this person in this odd way.. Idk.
I've been focusing on myself and just doing me. I guess I just wondered what anyone else would think if that happened to them. And just to be clear I never bombarded this person with messages. I did comment on a handful of youtube videos saying I liked some songs but nothing extreme. So yeah idk.
It is what it is at this point I guess I just wondered what another woman's perspective would be. I know this person doesn't owe me anything. I just figured if he adds tons of random people he would add me. I guess it made me feel pretty bad but I also realize it's a mirror of problems I have deep within that I need to work on. But idk. Just looking for some advice here or opinions.
Thank you
[–]throwRA8935747835FDS Specialist 13 points14 points15 points (6 children) | Copy Link
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[–]the-cool-hedgehog1 points [recovered] (1 child) | Copy Link
Girl, the connection was only in your head. For him, you were simply one of many fangirls publicly swooning over him and stroking his ego (I know you think you did nothing of the kind, just some supportive comments, but it is enough that you give him your attention and publicly praise him - it comes off as a fangirl swooning for him). This is a hard pill to swallow, I'm sorry. I'm speaking of my own experience. Musicians are often the worst, lots of them are narcissists who come off as charismatic people with the ability to create the impression of "connection". I've been down the same road as you when I was younger, it actually ended by us becoming friends, me falling in love with him and him in cold blood using me as a booty call whenever he felt the need. It broke my heart. It all happened because I also deluded myself with the "connection" we were supposedly having and me putting him on an unearned pedestal. It was years ago and all that is behind me, but I think I would be happier if I had saved myself several unhappy years. Please be more selective with your attention. It is actually incredibly valuable.
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