Finding the strength to leave..

fim_de_semana · 2020-10-20T08:32:19+00:00

He’s your emotional safety net, believe you or not. Even bad relationships can become safety nets. Even abusive ones. That’s why it’s hard to leave them. You have to start by loving yourself some. You don’t need a man to take you on a date, you can take yourself on a date, for example.

Have you ever considered joining therapy, specifically CBT?

Anodynic · 2020-10-20T19:22:41+00:00

Ask yourself what is holding you back and work on fixing them one at a time.

You call him your boyfriend so you're not married, which is great. Look into child support requirements for your state/country and start seeing what will happen with your kid's funding and support more than anything.

Could you feasibly financially afford to move to an apartment in the area while you think of long term, or no? If you could, then work out finances ASAP. Having a budget and planning will give you a lot more of the confidence. Apartment hunt, look, don't be afraid of the unknown, start getting used to it by looking at places, making a budget, thinking of what will be affected, etc.

If you have a gym membership, look into cancelling it or having a gym with multiple locations. If your kid's daycare is nearby, look into other daycare options closer to your place of employment.

Is it emotional? Start reconnecting with old friends. Stop focusing on your relationship with your partner, he's shown you how he doesn't prioritize you, and start focusing on yourself. Do a new skincare routine, treat yourself as though it was date night every night just to be with you. Spend as much time with your kiddo and just treat your partner as though he's there but as furniture more than anything, you need to spend time detaching yourself.

Rather than focusing on the girl at work, or what he's doing, focus on what you want to be doing and what you think will be great in your future. After all of these steps you'll realize in a short bit you've detached and have a lot more confidence that it will be okay, and just leave him. Don't cheat on him back though, that will only make you feel worse, but definitely stop treating this as a partnership and instead think of him as a roommate. Consider yourself broken up in your head, and think of it more as a "when to tell him" rather than a debate on the breakup. Do your hobbies, go on outings with your child, connect with friends and family, and do your best. It won't be easy but it will be worth it in the end.

Title	Finding the strength to leave..
Author	Rileysmommy18
Upvotes	64
Comments	3
Date	October 20, 2020 3:45 AM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askFDS
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/askfds/comments/jehw1o/finding-the-strength-to-leave/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askFDS/finding-the-strength-to-leave.1629100 https://theredarchive.com/post/1629100

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