~ archived since 2018 ~

How can i stop this struggle

December 31, 2020

21F bombarded with thoughts on how i can stop hurting so much over what my 28M ex has done and is doing. My ex basically stole my whole personality and he is now using it on other victims. For example i am anti porn and my ex wasn't in anyway, he would post weird Facebook memes about sex and porn and porn sites and lying and then when he got with me be lied about the pornography and even went as far as to send his porn obsessed friend a link on how porn hurts people especially women, yet i was the one who sent it so i don't understand why he'd send it to his friend, especially when he wasn't even anti porn and is a predator /porn addict, he lied to me constantly, called me names, manipulated me and hurt me on absolute purpose to get a kick out of it. I'm having so much trouble getting over the hurt and it's worse now that i know there are people out there believing his lies, thinking he is a good guy, yet he totally stole my personality and morals that he doesn't have. Since we broke up he's gotten new friends who also seem like predators and porn addicts (especially anime/hentai) and I just can't stand to think how he just got away with hurting me like he did and that other women especially would be fueling his ego. I feel so stupid for sticking around for this guy and giving him attention and now even after blocking him in everything i am still struggling. Please any advice would be so grateful. X

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Post Information
Title How can i stop this struggle
Author 19Bubbles98
Upvotes 1
Comments 1
Date December 31, 2020 3:27 PM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit /r/askFDS
Archive Link https://theredarchive.com/r/askFDS/how-can-i-stop-this-struggle.1059897
Original Link https://old.reddit.com/r/AskFDS/comments/knrwm7/how_can_i_stop_this_struggle/

[–]SadClownProstituteFDS Specialist 3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

For your own safety and mental health, you need to start by blocking this man everywhere, which you say you've done, but somehow you also know about his new friends and what they're into.

You should not be able to see who his friends are or what his online activity looks like. Block him and block anyone he's friends with who is posting anything gross. Block anyone who is still friends with him and who makes you feel like they believe what he's saying about you.

You should not feel stupid. You were duped into a bad situation by a far older man, and this happens SO OFTEN.

The only way to get over it, is to focus 100% on yourself, your own growth, your own confidence.

What other people think about you is so much less important than you believe it is. The only person whose opinion of you actually matters, is your own. Do you like who you are? If not, figure out the things you don't like, and find ways to better them. Do you like where you live? If not, start looking for a new place. Do you like your job? If not, start thinking about how you're going to get a new one, or how you're going to get to school.

Get out of the house. Keep yourself busy. Do not sit around wondering if he's thinking about you. He doesn't deserve one more moment of your time.

You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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