How does one better themselves?

Liz_Lemondrop · 2020-03-12T13:44:09+00:00

Huge question, and I love it. Well, let's break it down by domain.

Physical:

Are you working out or engaging in some recreational sports activity?
Do you eat like a dumpster person?
Do you brush your teeth, wear deodorant, wipe your ass?

Social:

Do you have friends (and I mean IRL friends, not Discord/Xbox Live friends)?
Do you have hobbies and meaningful activities that you participate in?
Are you engaging and interested in others, or expect them to be engaging or interested in you?

Emotional:

How do you handle your feelings? What do you do when you get really angry, or sad?
Do you go to therapy? Why not?
Do you drink or smoke weed to handle your emotions?

Spiritual:

Do you have some form of spirituality or religious practice?
How do you work on your "immortality project" in the words of the great Ernest Becker. What's your legacy and how are you advancing it?

Lifestyle:

Is your room clean? Your car? Your bathroom?
Are your clothes clean and well-maintained? Do you wear outfits, or whatever happens to be "cleanest"?
Do you cook and clean for yourself, or wait until it reaches critical levels?
What are your most obvious habits, good and bad? What efforts are you taking to change negative habits and create positive ones?

Financial:

Do you have a career, or a job? Are you working towards advancing your career?
Are you in school? How are your grades?
How do you manage your money? Do you save, invest?
Are your finances a reflection of your value systems (e.g. putting it towards travel, social activities, your future) or are you a passive/indifferent/compulsive spender? Do you spend more on escapism (weed, alcohol, porn, video games) than you do on securing your future?

In my opinion, all of these things should be addressed before you even think about dating or attempting to date a HVW. There are MANY subs and books and podcasts and youtube channels dedicated to these things. Being proactive and intentional about the different life domains will level you up in no time!

the-cool-hedgehog · 2020-03-12T14:04:49+00:00

Go to therapy. Work on your traumas so you can be a decent partner and not use yours as a free therapist/emotional dumpster. It's a basic homework for any person, but men are lacking so much more in this department.

Use this list, there are lots of useful ideas here that will generally make you a better person: https://www.vice.com/en_us/article/bj5ex8/how-to-help-gender-equality-international-womens-day

Pay attention if you integrate women-produced art content in your life (books, films, music, etc.). It will help you improve your empathy and realize other types of worldview.

RobotAmerican · 2020-03-12T18:12:48+00:00

Be observant, proactive, and act early rather than late. Many men act like horses with blinders on. I say this as an aspergian, someone known for having a trait of unshakable and obsessive hyperfocus. It's funny, because this is sometimes described as "extreme male brain," but it's wholly different. For men, it comes from a place of privilege and thinking "not my problem" or "this doesn't amuse me, so I don't care." Asking them to change when they don't want to doesn't help, either; only refusing to act on their missed problems and rubbing it in when they finally notice seems to have much effect. Harsh, I know. I've had male roommates (fuck college) and their response was to ignore everything that didn't amuse them as long as possible and then to break down screaming / crying that they're being "forced" to be adults by taking care of messes that happened due to their extreme neglect in the first place. It's disgustingly pathetic.

2020-03-13T21:37:55+00:00

Stop watching porn. Porn users are the epitome of a LVM.

Title	How does one better themselves?
Author	CashmereCannonball
Upvotes	38
Comments	13
Date	March 12, 2020 1:15 PM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askFDS
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/askfds/comments/fhg5uy/how-does-one-better-themselves/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askFDS/how-does-one-better-themselves.1628904 https://theredarchive.com/post/1628904

Comments