Context: I have been with my girlfriend for over three years. It has been really amazing even though we argue every few days (quite heavily sometimes). I moved in to her place 4 months ago (it was the best flat option). We are both 33. One recurring friction point is kids. At the beginning, she didn’t want any and I wasn’t sure. Now I know I want at least 1 (ideally 3). She’s been thinking about it and could maybe see herself with 1, but definitely no more. She’s slightly autistic, and maybe I am too, so life already feels like a lot without children sometimes.

Issue: She said blonds are rarer and she would like her kid to be blond if she has one. She said that with me, it is unlikely. It was meant to be mean I think (it was a slightly tensed evening where we argued a bit). She did the same a month earlier saying that with my brown eyes it would overrule her blue eyes. I responded that she should go get a blond blue eyed boyfriend, not caring too much. The next day I woke up very resentfull. Over dinner I told her clearly: if she really wants a blue-eyed blond child, then she should get another guy. I explained that I feel shamed for traits I can’t change, and that this crossed a boundary for me. She answered that all of her family except her father are blond with blue eyes, and this is why she has this preference. We stopped the discussion and went each to our room. Tonight she is by her own will, sleeping on the couch. I'm thinking about ending the relationship, because I want a woman that would be proud to carry my children.

Maybe it's just a shit test, but that amount of disrespect is crazy. Please give me your thoughts.

TLDR: Girlfriend shames me for the brown eyes and hair I have when she wants a baby looking just like her.