Question about DEERING and STFU

justpickanyusername · 2019-05-08T20:22:16+00:00

I just broken record and say something like “I understand your frustration and why you are upset but I won’t be apologizing nor do I think I did anything wrong”.

Not sure how you think this is not DEERing already. You could get away with just the first 4 words of that example above. Even that can be too much at times. There comes a point that when she persists you raise an eyebrow and give her the look of “really?” without even saying a word.

Now, a lot of this advice isn’t going to be worth a damn until you are worth a damn. The withdrawal of your attention doesn’t have any teeth until you are someone she wants to be around and/or other women want to be around. Work on yourself all the way around. Once some DREAD starts to settle in it is much easier to lay down some ground rules.

Right now, it is like asking for detailed advice on how to summit Mt Everest when you can’t even go upstairs without needing a breather. As you get higher up the mountain, you gain more experience, more insight, and credibility. Just keep grinding. You aren’t going to find some magic trick to get your wife to obey you. The only way this is achieved is by becoming a complete top-tier man. That takes work. That’s why they are rare and in demand.

SBIII · 2019-05-09T09:06:35+00:00

You're a fat fuck, can barely lift a bar and spend way too much time playing video games. I'm sure there's more to it that you're not telling us.. Why do you think your wife is going to respect anything you say?

3 months of Red Pill, no OYS, little or no understanding of the sidebar, can't lift and doesn't know how to STFU.

Do the work or fuck off, you lazy cunt.

suprathepeg · 2019-05-08T20:33:26+00:00

Nothing beats a sense of humour. Always be teasing and playfully responding. I think the teasing mindset is the best mental point of origin. If you can maintain that fun silly undercurrent to your behaviour it should help you avoid the deer in the headlights stall that leaves you stammering to explain yourself.

Concurrent to this you should be owning your shit at all times. Making the bed if your the last one up, making your half if you’re the first one etc.

The above two are probably the most difficult things to keep consistent when you find yourself in a shitty marriage. When I first started unplugging I was pretty bitter and angry a lot. Even though I was 90% angry with myself she still picked up on it immediately and it made for a shitty ride for her with a lot of Rambo moments for me. I think the best way to avoid this is to be trying to tease and be fun with her daily.

Once you have the above on lock the next position you take should be to never apologize. You should be fully able to explain your reasoning for your decisions whether you do explain or not. If you can’t explain it to yourself then go back to owning your shit. When you fuck up and you’re standing in the pile of shit you just made, admit it, clean up and keep moving forward. She is going to be way more interested in following a man who owns his shit and is fun than a lost puppy.

Hope this makes sense.

red-sfpplus · 2019-05-08T20:50:31+00:00

Can you please stop eating in the car as it makes a mess and I just cleaned the car?

Been dating Mandy about 10 months now. Somewhere around month two or three we had been up all night on Addy and Vodka. Hell of a time.

After we stopped having sex due to the fact we were both chafing from the friction, no matter how much lube we used we finally needed some food.

She went to my kitchen, got a ham and chesse lunchable, came back to my room, got in my bed and started to open the package.

Even in my drunk, sleep deprived, full of amphetamines, dick wanting to fall off state, I still looked at her and said:

"If you think you are eating food in my bed, you will never find yourself in my bed again."

With a big grin and a kiss on the cheek.

Woman has never stepped foot in my bedroom with food again.

bowhunter857 · 2019-05-08T20:56:37+00:00

If someone is asking you something to learn then explaining it is not DEERing. My god how would we ever teach our sons anything. The thing to remember is that you don’t owe people explanations for shit about you. Explaining how to change the oil in your car is ok, explaining why you would rather do it than pay someone else is DEERing.

MrChad_Thundercock · 2019-05-08T21:21:50+00:00

She she she she she ... fuck.

Babe how many times I need to tell you to not eat in the car,, why? It’s my chick mobile...bend her over , slap that ass as punishment.

Tease her.

You don’t owe explanations to anyone.

“Constantly nagging about the past and my wrongdoings,”

Because she still resents you after all those years you were acting like a Beta. You put her in charge and she still hates you for it.

Give it time.

Start acting like the Prize.

Sepean · 2019-05-08T20:28:08+00:00

This path you’re on is a rocky road. She doesn’t just accept that you’re alpha because you hold frame for a day. Anyone can do that. She has to see that you can hold frame for months, that you’re not plagued by self doubt when results don’t show immediatedly.

Fuck her “punishes”, ignore that shit and play dread. If you’re alpha enough that other girls eye fuck you, the nagging sex denying behavior goes away real fast.

NoCoast82 · 2019-05-09T03:49:48+00:00

Stats: 6’2 BF 17%, BP 185, Squat 200, Deadlift 225

Funny how you didn't list your bodyweight, you're a fat fuck right?

I shouldn’t ever DEER regarding my actions, plans, etc. However, does this translate to scenarios when I ask for my wife to do something and explain why I would like that done

What the fuck do you think the E's in DEER stand for???

You literally just asked "I know I shouldnt explain... but should I explain?"

STFU, Lift, Diet, and side bar

SeamusAwl · 2019-05-08T19:45:38+00:00

Can you please stop eating in the car as it makes a mess and I just cleaned the car?

Y’all share a car? Stop sharing it if she cant keep it clean.

Can you please vacuum the house?

Do you know how to vacuum? Or was this a “i am coming home with Jimmy” request?

As for a bitchy nagging wife demanding an apology. Well are you sorry? If yes then say it. If not. Then learn to fog or grab the bull by the horns and say it quickly with a big smile. Have fun with the rodeo after that.

nastynickdr · 2019-05-10T00:19:17+00:00

> Can you please stop eating in the car as it makes a mess and I just cleaned the car?

She fully knows why she shouldnt eat in the car. No need to explain it to her. She wouldnt do it if she respected you. As you said, she sees you as a fat fuck who doesnt own his shit, hence no respect for you. You wouldnt need to hell her why she shouldnt shit on the floor, do you?

> Can you please vacuum the house - She: why? Me: because we have friends coming over and I would like the house to be clean.

A woman that sees her man as a high value man who she is "lucky to have snatched" will gladly keep the house clean, cook and drain his balls on the regular. And will feel good for that. But if she realizes she is stuck with a loser, the opposite happens. Its up to you to put in the work to become a high value man.

> IF she thinks my actions were wrong or whatever, she goes off on a rant, twists words, “remembers incorrectly” and demands an apology (for me to say the actual word sorry and what I will be doing differently going forward), basically wants to argue.

Just like any woman on the planet. What matters is how this affects you (hint: it shouldnt)

> “I understand your frustration and why you are upset but I won’t be apologizing nor do I think I did anything wrong”

You are still talking and caring too much. Go with less caring and less talking. Be more fun and witty. Give less shits. More doing. Remove yourself when shes acting like a bitch, completely unnafected and not butthurt.

> Is this normal behavior for a woman resisting change?

Yep. Its easier for her to have her weak easily manipulated beta bux around, but she wont respect and want to fuck him. She knows all the dents on your armor and will go for it. Its up to you to resist.

You are just getting started. Sidebar and lift. Eat healthy. Lose the fat, gain muscle.

weakandsensitive · 2019-05-10T05:53:12+00:00

I'm not quite sure why you think she gives a shit what you want.

If you want it so badly, do it. If not, fuck off.

Title	Question about DEERING and STFU
Author	Reach4it2018
Upvotes	5
Comments	20
Date	May 8, 2019 6:57 PM UTC (7 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askMRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/askMRP/comments/bm97n7/question_about_deering_and_stfu/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askMRP/question-about-deering-and-stfu.237916 https://theredarchive.com/post/237916

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