~ archived since 2018 ~
Popular
Other
wackarnolds99
[removed]
[–]sicrm 14 points15 points16 points 5 years ago (11 children) | Copy Link
no matter what you do, you need to talk to a lawyer to see what you could be up against.
read your post back, you really think she’s not looking at other options?
[–][deleted] 4 points5 points6 points 5 years ago (10 children) | Copy Link
I will contact a lawyer thanks.
As much as she tells me she isn't, AWALT.
[–]HornsOfApathyMod / Red Beret 4 points5 points6 points 5 years ago (9 children) | Copy Link
Would you be looking at other options if you were married to... you?
[–][deleted] 0 points1 point2 points 5 years ago (8 children) | Copy Link
Not immediately! But I'm not a woman and operate differently.
[–]HornsOfApathyMod / Red Beret 0 points1 point2 points 5 years ago (7 children) | Copy Link
That's a very cute way of avoiding the truth.
You know who does that?
Women.
[–][deleted] 1 point2 points3 points 5 years ago (6 children) | Copy Link
By options do you guys mean living arrangements? Or other dudes?
I was starting to get super pissed off earlier, so I calmed myself down before acting and went to the gym. There's a lot of focus on what she may or may not be doing, I'm not sure it's important. I'm only interested in what I have to be doing!
[–]HornsOfApathyMod / Red Beret 1 point2 points3 points 5 years ago (5 children) | Copy Link
Stfu. Lift. Sidebar. OYS.
That's all you need to be doing, and if you really, really do want a shot at saving your marriage we aren't the right group of men. The relationship is the woman's job.
We save the man, not the marriage.
Maybe if you focus on the shit that matters you might save your marriage. Or not. Doesn't matter.
And I want you think how pathetic you are that you get angry from shit internet strangers say. Let that sink in.
[–][deleted] 0 points1 point2 points 5 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link
Horns I wasn't angry about anything you guys said, I can handle that no problem. I was angry at myself for getting myself into a retarded situation with kids and a million dollars and child support and perhaps spousal support involved. I channeled it to gym.
I will post in OYS once my 31 day newbie ban is up.
My relationship is over.
[–]HornsOfApathyMod / Red Beret 0 points1 point2 points 5 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
There's no 31 day ban... post Tuesday.
[–][deleted] 0 points1 point2 points 5 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
I got a rule 9 for posting this post as my OYS #1
[–]threekindsoflucky1 point 5 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link
Do better then
[–][deleted]1 point 5 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link
I will after my ban 🙏
[–]thingsbrycesays 11 points12 points13 points 5 years ago (7 children) | Copy Link
You need to act as if you are already broken up/ the divorce is imminent. Imagine it, make it real to you and go see an attorney ASAP (and keep your mouth shut about it)... Keep reading the sidebar, keep lifting, keep working on you.
if Im reading you correctly here, her best case scenario is staying at the house while she goes back to school/ gets back on her feet/ meets interesting new people while you foot the bill, keep her life stable and stay in limbo about your future. She hasn't just friend-zoned you, shes father-zoned you. If she wants to live like she did when she was a teenager, let her do it back at home with her parents.
This is one of those moments in life where you really need to be the man you imagine yourself one day becoming. First, I would cut ALL affection seeking from her (makes you seem weak and needy, so cut that shit out an STFU about it). Second, I would start planning your exit from the relationship even if you hope everything works out in the end (its a position of strength, shows you respect yourself/ have boundaries and is an action you can do). Keep working on yourself and use this time to focus on what you need to do to be attractive to new women. Sounds like your already working on this so keep it up. Cut out everything that makes you weak. You mention drinking and porn so start there and redouble your efforts. That feeling of being "horny" is you body's way of communicating to you to to go out and find a real girl to fuck. use that feeling to lift more/ dress better/ learn game/ etc. Make yourself fuckable again. Porn and Booze kills testosterone.
Jesus dude, remember your power and strength. Mentally come to terms with selling your house and losing half of your stuff. Worst case scenario you start your life over with almost half a million dollars. Start coming to terms with that. If you and your wife are able to work through this, and I think you can, the only way you'll be satisfied moving forward is if you really become the man you know your capable of being. What your kids will remember from this situation is either their dad was kinda a push over and a wimp or that he was a total bad ass who can handle anything thrown at him. Be a bad ass.
[–]ImmortalEdge 2 points3 points4 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
All of this.
[–][deleted] 0 points1 point2 points 5 years ago* (5 children) | Copy Link
I appreciate that well thought out response. I will cut out all affection seeking, which has been my main symptom of neediness. I will plan for my exit, and discuss my options with a lawyer and some relatives experienced with real estate and divorce.
Booze and porn are non issues, I went cold turkey on porn 3 months ago, and alcohol usage has been at a healthy level for 4 months. Healthy level means in a social setting where most friends drink beer often, I will have 1 beer and bring along 2 cans of bubly, and absolutely zero solo beers. I cut out hard liquor and wine 2 years ago completely. I have conquered my alcohol problem.
In the meantime, the next month or two, I will continue being joyful, fun, funny, playful. No neediness, no affection. She will ask why, I will STFU.
[–]BobbyPeruRed Beret 1 point2 points3 points 5 years ago* (4 children) | Copy Link
No affection means quit initiating... just so we’re clear. You initiating and constantly getting rejected is about as needy as it gets.
If it’s truly over as you say, you should be putting the house up for sale, splitting $ and assets, hooking up/dating... etc. you should be lifting like you are single because you are if you are really separated.
Be honest with yourself.
BTW, I completely agree with whoever said he is buying time. She gave you the equivalent of the ILYBINILWY speech. She’s done.
[–][deleted] 0 points1 point2 points 5 years ago* (3 children) | Copy Link
Ok thanks for clearing that up. I quit initiating.
Haven't touched her for 3 days. Last night she did her hair n makeup and was wearing skimpy clothes and bending over in front of me, having her shirt open to reveal her tits. Super fucking hard not to try to initiate but I paid her no attention.
She started questioning me about something related to her mom moving in, I said we have to discuss what the plan will be moving forward. She got angry, said I thought we had a plan, how can I go to school without childcare etc. I broken recorded, convo ended with her saying I'm unbearable which is why we're not together. I said that's true, we're not together. We'll discuss the plan will be moving forward. Felt good to not react and not act needy.
The way I've been handling this until now was this:
"If you're not signing something or sitting in court then it is not a current concern."
I was treating it as a joke, fully believing after a few more months she'll be asking to get back together. I was not taking her seriously at all. I was continuing to act like we're a couple, laughing off her "protests" and her shit tests. I felt OI, as I was fine if it actually progressed to where one of us is moving out. I was just doing my thing, self improvement and gym and not reacting to her outbursts.
Now I've got thoughts going through my head "she's trying to fuck you over, she's looking for cock, she's probably sending sexy pics to dudes, she's looking for other options" etc. My level of spite is creeping up. It feels less OI and less in my frame than before I posted. Before I thought, if any of that is true I'll deal with it when it happens, who gives a fuck.
[–]BobbyPeruRed Beret 3 points4 points5 points 5 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
Now I've got thoughts going through my head
This is your insecurities creeping in. Take it out on the iron; Get super focused; get your ducks in a row; work on you. If you need it, get a good therapist as this type of thinking can spiral. Just know that the thoughts are BS onc you take the focus off her and start improving yourself- takes time. Sounds like you did pretty good with that situation.
[–][deleted] 0 points1 point2 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Thanks for the direction dude. I'm doing better.
[–]BobbyPeruRed Beret 1 point2 points3 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Sure - hit me up on dm if you have other stuff come up
[–]Over60_FireTempered3Red Beret 7 points8 points9 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Here's an idea...
Try to be at least as uncommitted to the relationship as she is.
She is buying time to move out without missing a meal (that you pay for).
Isn't about time that YOU started making YOUR OWN plans?
[–][deleted] 0 points1 point2 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
You are correct, it's time. Thank you.
[–]wkndatbernardus 6 points7 points8 points 5 years ago (14 children) | Copy Link
That 3 month separation last year? Yeah, that was a failed branch swing. She's 100% testing other options (i.e. banging dudes) while you're funding her life of leisure. Also, I love how you're spinning this new degree your wife is getting. Mark my words, the moment homegirl gets that diploma, it's gonna be divorce city and CS for a decade plus while she works part-time, at best.
[–][deleted] 0 points1 point2 points 5 years ago (13 children) | Copy Link
6 years ago* edited. The degree is under the pretense that it's still divorce city, CS will be reduced at the least. I won't be living with her for a year while separated, that's just her suggestion. Chick has low n-count and only goes to the gym or out with a married very wholesome friend, I really don't think she's banging anyone yet. I could be wrong of course
[–]ragnar_DaneskjoldCucked by Cosmo 2 points3 points4 points 5 years ago* (7 children) | Copy Link
Chick has low n-count
She probably thinks so too and she's told you she plans to fix it.
Wife maintains she is still in love with me but wants to fix her own issues and not be in any relationship
She'll be able to fix it while she's going to school supported by you. You'll get to put off your inevitable loss of equity for a while though.
I can't help but read your post like you're really hoping you can turn it around and eventually pull it off with her.
[–][deleted] 0 points1 point2 points 5 years ago* (6 children) | Copy Link
I am hoping I can fix myself and turn it around and pull it off with her. If I can't turn it around, I will have fixed myself anyways and sleep well knowing I gave it an honest attempt. Life is good either way!
Too much she her she but just for informational purposes we're still sleeping in the same bed, she hasn't been out at night once, she's got one kid with her most of the time. She said I love you out of the blue 2 nights ago.
I think she wants me to improve. She told her mom she isn't sure, we might work it out if I improve. Of course it's possible she's gearing up to fuck other dudes, I just don't see it for now.
I don't care, what's my move? Do I cut all affection? Do i try to game her while practicing OI and STFU? Do I act 100% single?
If everything you just said is true, your woman is both of these:
1) Giving you the world's most gigantic shit test to see if you'll accept her retarded woman terms of a relationship, and if you do, hate the man you are for it.
2) Not attracted to you enough to stop wanting to fuck other men.
[–][deleted] 0 points1 point2 points 5 years ago* (4 children) | Copy Link
I'm going to put my trust in your knowledge as I've read a lot of your stuff and it's been very educational. I won't accept her retarded plan. Was no chance of being cucked like that. At the same time, I want her to get a career. It will benefit my kids if mommy isn't a loser for life. At the end of the day, they are my focus.
Any immediate advice you can give me, or do I just continue to lift and sidebar and form exit plan?
[–]ragnar_DaneskjoldCucked by Cosmo 0 points1 point2 points 5 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
“ At the end of the day, they are my focus.”
I’m an infant on this sub but this might be your problem simplified. Your end of the day focus shouldn’t be on anyone except for yourself.
Focus was the wrong word. Ultimate responsibility. My kids safety and upbringing are my responsibility.
[–]EasyDaysHardNights 1 point2 points3 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
So many guys get caught on this point. As if, the relationship is what keeps the kids healthy. It's not. It's a healthy parent. If you have your shit together, you will be able to give your kids the stability they need. Whether or not you and your wife stay together. If you don't have your shit together, your kids will have the instability they don't need, regardless of whether you and your wife are together. The ONLY focus you need to have is getting your shit together. It covers all bases. Missing it, fucks you over on everything.
There's really no choice. Focus on you and you only.
I agree 100%. Me getting my shit together will benefit me and my sons.
[–]red-sfpplusHard Core Red 1 point2 points3 points 5 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link
Chick has low n-count and only goes to the gym
I fuck at the gym all the time.
[–][deleted] 0 points1 point2 points 5 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
Like in the fucking gym??
[–]HornsOfApathyMod / Red Beret 2 points3 points4 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Where you been?
Dude is pinning girls in the family bathroom while they blow him at the gym.
I ain't shittin' you.
[–]red-sfpplusHard Core Red -1 points0 points1 point 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
In the family bathroom, yeah. In the hottub, once in the sauna.
I give my girl her shot in the bathroom while she is blowing me 2x a week. You think those fit girls at the gym are not fucking bros all day long?
What shot what is pinning, roids?
[–]Rpeeing 5 points6 points7 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
TL;DR: you’re newly single and you have close to half a million in equity.
Talk about first world problems...
[–][deleted] 1 point2 points3 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Positive spin thank you.
[–]Ole-Guy 2 points3 points4 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
You have lots of work to do from this point forward - full stop.
Be prepared to not see a new pussy for the next 3 to 6 months.
Be prepared for your finances to be sucked in fifteen different directions for the next year, until things are settled on your end between you, your lawyer, and your (soon to be) ex-wife.
Be prepared to up your game with weightlifting, hitting the sidebar, and taking ownership of your life to a new level that you haven't been at yet.
Be prepared to start your life over from scratch.
Be prepared to be the bad guy in someone else's story, to be the hero in your story.
Be prepared to walk into the darkness of the abyss, without knowing where you will come out on the otherside.
Be prepared for the new life that will be ahead of you within the next year or two after you keep putting in the work on yourself.
Be prepared.
That's a lot of preparation but I can handle it. It's exciting really.
[–]Over60_FireTempered3Red Beret 1 point2 points3 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Question is this, how to I adjust the mrp principles for this in house separation situation?
Maybe u/bogeyd6 would be inclined to help. At least read his old posts for some insight.
Thank you I will read tomorrow. Tonight I read family law updates.
[–][deleted] -1 points0 points1 point 5 years ago* (4 children) | Copy Link
What's my move gentlemen? Stfu and game with oi, stfu and treat her like a roommate? Everything I've read pertains to "your wife". How do I adjust mrp to "your separate but living together wife"? Having dinner made for me every night still is nice.
I will not live with her or support her throughout the next year while she goes to school, that is not on the table. I would say 2-3 more months is all I'm willing to wait before I fuck other women.
I am going to be footing the bill whether living with her or not. I will have to pay out the ass.
[–]threekindsofluckyMod who asks, "are we the baddies?" 1 point2 points3 points 5 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
Fuck you're needy. You already have the OP. Make your own life decisions.
I wouldn't be here if I weren't needy and knew all the answers. My decision making skills need adjustment.
You act like a unicorn. You're not.
First, Lift.
Second, STFU.
Third, Sidebar.
4th, OYS.
That is all you need to focus on.
That is all you need to know.
That is all you need to do.
Any thought, word or action that is not tied to those 4 things is a complete waste of your time and you are slowing your progress.
That is all.
Ok I will focus on that. Thank you.
[–]rpbb9999 0 points1 point2 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Shes going to hit you for child support and half your stuff no matter what
You're right. Thanks.
© TheRedArchive 2026. All rights reserved.created by /u/dream-hunter
[–]sicrm 14 points15 points16 points (11 children) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] 4 points5 points6 points (10 children) | Copy Link
[–]HornsOfApathyMod / Red Beret 4 points5 points6 points (9 children) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] 0 points1 point2 points (8 children) | Copy Link
[–]HornsOfApathyMod / Red Beret 0 points1 point2 points (7 children) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] 1 point2 points3 points (6 children) | Copy Link
[–]HornsOfApathyMod / Red Beret 1 point2 points3 points (5 children) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] 0 points1 point2 points (4 children) | Copy Link
[–]HornsOfApathyMod / Red Beret 0 points1 point2 points (3 children) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] 0 points1 point2 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]threekindsoflucky1 point [recovered] | Copy Link
[–][deleted]1 point [recovered] | Copy Link
[–]thingsbrycesays 11 points12 points13 points (7 children) | Copy Link
[–]ImmortalEdge 2 points3 points4 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] 0 points1 point2 points (5 children) | Copy Link
[–]BobbyPeruRed Beret 1 point2 points3 points (4 children) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] 0 points1 point2 points (3 children) | Copy Link
[–]BobbyPeruRed Beret 3 points4 points5 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] 0 points1 point2 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]BobbyPeruRed Beret 1 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Over60_FireTempered3Red Beret 7 points8 points9 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]wkndatbernardus 6 points7 points8 points (14 children) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] 0 points1 point2 points (13 children) | Copy Link
[–]ragnar_DaneskjoldCucked by Cosmo 2 points3 points4 points (7 children) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] 0 points1 point2 points (6 children) | Copy Link
[–]HornsOfApathyMod / Red Beret 1 point2 points3 points (5 children) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] 0 points1 point2 points (4 children) | Copy Link
[–]ragnar_DaneskjoldCucked by Cosmo 0 points1 point2 points (3 children) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] 0 points1 point2 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]EasyDaysHardNights 1 point2 points3 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]red-sfpplusHard Core Red 1 point2 points3 points (4 children) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] 0 points1 point2 points (3 children) | Copy Link
[–]HornsOfApathyMod / Red Beret 2 points3 points4 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]red-sfpplusHard Core Red -1 points0 points1 point (1 child) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Rpeeing 5 points6 points7 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] 1 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Ole-Guy 2 points3 points4 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Over60_FireTempered3Red Beret 1 point2 points3 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] -1 points0 points1 point (4 children) | Copy Link
[–]threekindsofluckyMod who asks, "are we the baddies?" 1 point2 points3 points (3 children) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] 0 points1 point2 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]EasyDaysHardNights 1 point2 points3 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]rpbb9999 0 points1 point2 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link