Been out of the game for nearly 3 years due to depression and self-imposed isolation which affected everything about me, especially my self esteem and confidence.

I've had to relearn the fundamentals like how to be funny and cocky again, how to DARE and not to DEER, frame and letting all of this become internalised and natural. I feel like I'm getting there again slowly but surely.

My issue is now that I have to translate that into the real world. I've been learning all of this through online communication, but the true battleground is out there, meeting them and approaching. Which I'm anxious to do after so long out. I get excited about doing it again, but I'm quickly overwhelmed with self doubt and anxiety over it.

I realise it's gonna be a problem because as funny and charming and flirty as I know I can be, it's not reflecting well in person. Even just spending time around my family, I still appear to be a grumpy, serious asshole, or my jokes don't come off well when I try. Yet its easy for me to tap into that primal headspace when I'm online. It's like I'm afraid to let go and be myself again.