Beating Social Anxiety

lietruth · 2016-12-29T07:37:28+00:00

Read "The Charisma Myth.". This will help you break out of your shell more.

If you think social anxiety can be cured by a one or two line response on asktrp you are going to be disappointed. You have to read books on this stuff. Pick up "The six pillars of self esteem" and then read "the magic of thinking big" and "breaking the habit of being yourself."

These books changed who I was, they will likely do the same for you. Changing takes effort and time. There's no easy way out. TRP can tell you what to do, but we're not going to do it for you. Take action on your own life if you want to truly change.

SexySmexxy · 2016-12-29T08:01:28+00:00

Things like starting off with just having a big smile on your face and walking around with it not caring what people think (the thought of this gave me anxiety as in TRP it is said to not seem overly happy, I dont want to seem mentally challenged either).

I think it's a bad idea because obviously it just makes you look a bit creepy if you have a huge :) face on the whole time for absolutely no reason. (Autism spectrum).
Don't take anything written on this sub or any related TRP or Seduction sub as the bible. Remember these things are all written by humans who are far from perfect. How do you know the person on the other end isn't some 250lb neckbeard who gives out advice that sounds good but is actually useless as fuck, even what I'm writing right here and now, you don't know what I look like. Always keep your wits about you.

The classic advice I would personally give.

Fitness. Get in the gym and/or do some kind of sport. Make your body look average, then proceed to work towards better than average. You only get one body and you might as well make it look good.
Fulfillment. Theres more to life than girls and a social life, speaking as somebody who has it now and never had the girls part before trust me on this. A social life is good to keep your happiness levels up, but don't seek it for the sake of it because you wan't quality over quantity which takes time and effort. Look for something you think has meaning. A business you want to start, a hobby you adore etc.

Personally I never lived the "high school life" I wanted to, or could have possibly have, but I think the majority of people didn't either, but now in college and uni I'm doing great in most aspects social-wise. Why? I don't actually know.

When I went from school to college I just decided to act more confident ( I wasn't actually more confident) and for some reason people just assumed I was this really natural, social great speaking confident guy. Then I became it.

It's weird. I would say possibly try to find yourself a new batch of friends/people to hang with. For example join the tennis team and just act like the guy you want to be. People will have no choice but to believe thats who you are, and soon it'll become who you are.

Comfort Zone.

Destroy the comfort zone. But don't nuke it, that's overkill. Take it down bit by bit, like a tall building.

Noncomment · 2016-12-29T12:51:42+00:00

You don't need to do the drills on campus, if you are worried about your reputation. Go somewhere with people you will likely never see again and do them.

Have you heard of rejection therapy? It's a similar idea. The first time I tried it, I went up to a random dude on the street and asked him for $100. I was so nervous. I didn't know how I was going to explain myself if he questioned me. But he just started laughing. And I laughed too. And then he showed me a place where I could get a quick loan, and was really friendly.

There is a guy on YouTube that recorded himself doing rejection therapy for 100 days. Look it up, watching them helped a lot.

Auvergnat · 2016-12-29T11:03:42+00:00

You need to force yourself into social contexts. Take baby steps if you need:

First, make one friend.

Then, make a group of friends.

Then, go out with your group of friends where you guys interact with strangers.

Then, go out by yourself to interact with strangers.

Then, start theatre.

Last, go out by yourself to pick up girls.

newme1252016 · 2016-12-29T11:16:26+00:00

hey man ok so you have social anxiety but its not that bad what you need to do is very simple...

start by taking your self out of your comfort zone...the biggest key here so setting a goal of talk to one person two three four five etc depending on how many people you usually interact with on a daily basis and up it. So lets say i dont talk to people and have an issue of social anxiety and im ready to change what do i do. i say im going to to talk to one person per day for the rest of the week...so that is at the cafe server, librarian, tutor a student next to you etc

so at the library keep in mind the first day will be soooo uncomfortable talk to guys for the first week if you must no problem. me: hi can you help me find a book im abit lost her: yea sure what books are you into Me: talk about my interests in books me: she may suggest some stuff etc etc etc ok at the end of this convo ask your self did i die did she laugh at me did she physically hurt me etc the answer will be no no no no no and no

the next at the cafe server same ask for help or an opinion and talk to her with that. the first week is up ask your self was it really as bad as you thought it was going to be then up it the next week talk to two people a day then three then four till you become more confident PM if you want more info this was really jsut a draft

KardinalMcGillan · 2016-12-29T10:53:39+00:00

I remember something I read in the "Art of the Deal" that will help you out. When wondering whether you should worry about someone's opinion, ask yourself the following:

1) Who is this person? (does this person whose opinion you worry about pay your bills? Is he your boss?)

2) Does their opinion really matter?

If this person you're worry about isn't your boss or doesn't your pay your bills, their opinion simply does not matter. They could think whatever they want about you but their opinion of you should not matter because they are nobody.

Officer_Dick_Johnson · 2016-12-29T11:28:52+00:00

Yes, do the drills.

Social anxiety must be get rid of. Do whatever it takes.

Drills like that are meant to help you get rid of your social anxiety, it's not how you have be/act forever.

It's like gym. You do a certain number of sets & reps, it all takes a certain amount of time. It's not like you take barbell wherever you go. It's just training.

Do the drills.

DrakeSaint · 2016-12-29T14:54:35+00:00

If you think social anxiety can be cured by a one or two line response on asktrp you are going to be disappointed.

Wrong.

OP, consider your social skills as a "muscle" in that it needs to be worked out consistently to improve itself; you're not exercising your social skills, then you'll be the awkward guy in the room, like the >100lbs guy trying to bench with dudes double their weights. Try and analyze all social interactions you've done in the past, how you could improve them, and apply all concepts in the next; repeat it and try it out consistently until interacting socially isn't something hard nor particularly out of the ordinary, just like working out every once in a while is not a chore, but a necessity for a stronger body.

[deleted] · 2016-12-29T17:31:03+00:00

Start with talking to your 7-11 guy then work your way up to men on the street then women.

roomrider · 2016-12-29T18:17:36+00:00

I used to be super awkward with shitty self esteem the first year of high school and turned it around. You already took the hardest step: Finding out you don't like how you are now, and vowing to change for the better. Personally, changing up my wardrobe (getting my own style) and exercising were probably the two biggest factors that helped kick start my change and boost my self esteem. I saved up cash to buy the types of clothes I wanted (brand name/skate apparel/preppy), and set aside time to exercise every day/started taking a weights class in school. Then I started looking into Machiavellian philosophy, 48 laws of power, and eventually Red Pill.

Honestly, once you work on yourself and build your self worth and esteem, everything else falls into place. I started out socially by interacting more with people of higher social standing than I. It's crucial at this building period to stay away from losers and weirdos. Find a group to hang out with first, then find more groups and hang out with whichever group you want to whenever you want to. It's important that you surround yourself with people who you want to be like. Secure your position in each group. From my experience it's really hard to find permanence in a group at first by trying to take on the alpha role. You have to first build rapport. I build my foothold in a group by being funny. People want me around because I make them laugh, therefore I've established permanence and can now start my climb to alpha.

I'd say that interaction with females you're interested in is the last step you should approach with all this. So this will be after you work on yourself and work on your social circle. Just to give you an idea, I used to be scared as shit to approach any girl, had the bitch butterflies 24/7, and thought that no half attractive girl would ever want to date me. Now, I actually enjoy approaching girls in public, don't have an issue talking with girls at school, and went on a date just last week. It all started with me stumbling across TRP and cold approaching girls for the first time.

I know this works best in high school environments, but I hope there are some things you can take away from my experiences. If you want me to elaborate on anything, please send me a message. I'm a senior in high school, but I think I know a thing or two you can apply to college life.

CaptainCringeworthy · 2016-12-29T17:24:11+00:00

i dont blame any girl for ever not liking me before or even now, who would want to be with a hermit like me?

This is such a debilitating thought don't ever have this enter your head again.

Title	Beating Social Anxiety
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	17
Comments	13
Date	December 29, 2016 7:30 AM UTC (9 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/5kvmba/beating_social_anxiety/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/beating-social-anxiety.182406 https://theredarchive.com/post/182406

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