Being a sexually submissive alpha?

[deleted] · 2015-12-15T21:32:49+00:00

[permanently deleted]

Homosapiensized · 2015-12-16T03:31:24+00:00

Have the type of sex that you like. What's more important to you? Being sexually satisfied or living up to the expectations of an Internet forum run by austistics?

huge_gap · 2015-12-16T02:10:53+00:00

When I started having sex my first girl always wanted to be on top so I acclimated to that. However, subsequent girls always preferred me going on top. It's a habit and feeling that may take a bit to get used to but you can definitely get used to and prefer top.

jace81 · 2015-12-16T03:52:05+00:00

it does get tiring having to initiate every time.

Wolfwoodd · 2015-12-16T18:40:02+00:00

Hey man.. kinks are kinks. We aren't here to judge you for legitimate kinks. However, you might want to consider actively attempting to increase your testosterone to see if anything changes.

Hackey23 · 2015-12-15T22:04:44+00:00

This is going to be a long read but man, I know a lot of people here are going to just say "get rid of it" but they don't necessarily get it. I for one had an insanely abusive childhood and yes, a terrible father and a great mother. I'm not going to blame my mom or her hamster or her lack of rationalization abilities or whatever the fuck for my dad being terrible. So shoot me. I'm not here to give emotional feelz and usually I'm against that but this is one of those cases where I feel a lot of people won't be able to relate and just tell you to man up - which is sort of unrealistic. What the fuck does being a man mean anymore? Who the fuck defines it? Is it how the majority of men act? If 80% of what a google search says then fuck, the feminazis can keep their definition of man and shove it up their very own assholes. Fuck that definition of a man. To me, a man does whatever the fuck he wants and what's best for him and doesn't let another person make his life decisions for him. A man lives how he wants and doesn't care about what's awkward or what not and really just doesn't give a fuck about other's perceptions. He doesn't let how he is viewed in a figment of some fucktard's imagination enslave him and define him. And a man lifts. It's how I define it.

I'm a switch personally. After careful introspection I've noticed why. I enjoy being put in positions I have little control over, it gives me a certain freedom. The reason for this I'm guessing is because as a child my father would often lock me in a room with just me and him, and only a window being a genuine exit and beat the living fucking shit out of me repeatedly until I literally screamed and begged him continuously to stop. I always lived in fear. He once smacked me for being scared while walking by and asked me why I was scared. Hahaha why do you think tough guy? I craved kicking his ass for a while but that would make me no different than him. For me a happy day would be to sit in my room under my blankets and watch the kids outside play and avoid my dad. This gave me genuine happiness. I was repeatedly in a situation where I had little control physically, mentally, emotionally and just had to accept it. Sitting alone in my room for a whole day and watching kids play outside gave me genuine pleasure and happiness and purpose in life. Eventually I just accepted that these are the cards I am dealt in life. When you get a bad deck you don't fucking complain and throw a hissy fit and throw your cards out, you work to get a good deck right? This isn't any different. I've made it out for the most part but there's still some stuff I struggle with. For example, I still feel uncomfortable for an hour when I wear short sleeves or shorts because I'm used to hiding all those marks (don't have em anymore). After an hour or so, I'm fine though. First I couldn't wear anything except for sweaters at all. I'm only writing this to tell you that you have my condolences and I get it.

I'll say it, my personal fetish is "mixed wrestling" - because watching two men wrestle is gay as fuck :). I never understood straight guys that were into whipping or peeing fetishes, anything that doesn't involve physical contact. I just didn't get it because what fucking difference would it physically make if it's a guy or girl? For me, there's just something really warm about being wrapped in a girl's (one you trust - for the time, week, or month anyway) thighs.

At the same time, I enjoy dominating, there's something really primitive about it that makes me really happy. It's who I was supposed to naturally be. I reflect on my behaviour as a kid and how I was up until I was about 11/12 and I knew what I was supposed to be, it's amazing how different I was. Dad fucked it all up. TRP is just helping me become how I was naturally supposed to be. My natural personality is probably why I was less affected by my childhood and why no one can tell I've had a bad childhood and why I'm doing pretty well now and my brothers are all royally fucked in the head. I'm primarily dominating but I enjoy my fetish too occasionally which is why I've always been in preference for LTRs over ONS and plates. That's not the type of shit you want to do with a plate. Takes a certain amount of trust. Even when I always masturbated to videos of my fetish before any trp or anything and when I was inherently beta I'd get turned off instantly if the girl wasn't respectful and kind and feminine while dominating and I'd really really want to fucking punch her hard in the face really hard if she acted like a bitch. Feminists and bitchy women always used to piss me off despite how beta I was. Now I don't care, they can act how they want. I once broke my brother's laptop screen watching a "porn" video when I was 16 because that's how badly shitty behaviour from women pissed me off. Instant boner kill. I mean wtf, you're watching domination videos but then get angry when she's not "feminine"? So I'm a fucked up case I guess.

Solution? Look you're going to be alive for 80 90 years and then die. Fuck trying to change to fit other people's definitions of happiness. You enjoy what you enjoy. The only thing I'd recommend is to cut out porn completely and change your behaviour and attitude and read the sidebar. Then you'll naturally make sense of it. I promise. Just killing off porn would change you. Don't try to kill your fetish or whatever, you enjoy it you enjoy it. You don't wanna be regretting all you missed out on when you're all old and saggy. Don't be mad at the fetish, embrace it. Just don't let it define you. Change your personality and mindset and the people you hang out with. Read theory. Spend time here. Get the fuck off reddit aka the most cuck website ever. I only created an account because of trp and if I'm honest I wish we'd move already to the new place. And also try enjoying domination in bed. Eventually you will enjoy it. And hey, if you still occasionally have to partake in your fetish so fucking what? It's what YOU enjoy, it's what YOU like, you're still getting her to do something for YOU, for YOUR happiness.

If none of the mindset and behaviour change is quite getting the job done, try a more hands on approach. Think of whatever fetish you have, and make slow progression mentally and physically.

I'd give my example but it won't help. For you, ok you like her to be dominating. Ok slowly escalate that. Now imagine her dominating but with YOU on top. Ok now change another small aspect of that. Keep adding a little more. Then a little more. Keep rewiring your brain. Then you'll start enjoying both. It takes a bit of effort but it's really not all that hard. Hopefully this helped. I'd give a tldr but fuck it whatever.

redpillcurious1 · 2015-12-15T21:14:12+00:00

1) Ideally, you wanna get rid of that. I think its bullshit that that's a 'part' of you. I think it'd change as you change yourself and you see yourself in a different way. Its the same as having a cuckolding fetish. People actually want their girlfriends and wives to cheat on them and make them feel inadequate - its just a defence mechanism because they have little value in themselves and think this is inevitable, so to avoid pain they subconsciously 'fetishize' it and turn that humiliation and betrayal into arousal. Yours is less extreme, but its the same principal; a man's natural sexual desire should be of a dominant nature speaking from biology - anything outside of that is generally a perversion of the outside world.

2) There was a recent post by a trusted contributor in the main sub but I can't find the bastard now that someone wants it. He basically said the same as point 1, but in the event that you absolutely cannot get rid of these tendencies, you still apply alpha and red pill principles. E.g. you want that behaviour in bed, you demand it, you take nothing less, she will give it to you because she wants to please you etc.

Title	Being a sexually submissive alpha?
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	5
Comments	30
Date	December 15, 2015 8:55 PM UTC (10 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/3wzlz4/being_a_sexually_submissive_alpha/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/being-a-sexually-submissive-alpha.187702 https://theredarchive.com/post/187702

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