GF broke up with me after our first Argument Hi guys, I need help sorting through this mess. I'm 28 and she's 31. We had a great 2.5 months together or so I thought. I was very much in love with her and I thought she was as well.

She would always tell me how attractive I am, how special I make her feel, how well we get along and how we would be together for a long time because of our compatibility. She was always caring and attentive and tried to be as well. I would do sweet things for her and vice versa.

We never had a single argument up to this date, not even a tiff or any harsh words.

One day I was in a bad mood and feeling snappy, normally I'm mature enough to not take it out on people that I love and care about. But on that day I was upset and moody.

I sent her a text about our weekend plans and she didn't reply for over an hour. Normally I couldn't care less, there were times I wouldn't reply for six hours.

Text Convo:

Me: Hey we need to talk I know you have your phone on you all the time so I'm not sure why it takes you so long to respond especially when we go on our dates you are texting almost half the time

(I way over exaggerated how much she texts on our dates maybe she looks at her phone once or twice and sends like two text messages....I just found something and ran with it to be upset about)

I think my moodiness has to do with me trying to stop my depression medication too suddenly. It was giving me sexual problems and I didn't want that to come between us.

Her: Hey I'm eating I went back to sleep. ..u need to chill n we can talk when ur not so rude

Me: Sorry I'm just a bit frustrated...

Her: I will talk to you when you are more calm. Ttyl. Please don't reach out to me until you can speak to me respectfully.

Me: Okay Can I call you in 10 minutes?

(I wait for ten minutes and call her twice and she doesn't pick up)

Me: I just called...and I'm not sure how I'm supposed to be more respectful...but I just want to have a calm discussion with you If you don't want to talk to me let me know at least Sigh

Her: Yeah I'm a bit taken aback and offended that you would approach any time of convo with me in the tone you took w me. I really don't have the patience to talk to you right now. I don't tolerate that kind of attitude when all you needed to do was nicely say we should talk and it's important to me

Me: Okay....I agree with you....I let my frustration get the best of me....you've been so busy this week...and we don't text much or talk much i just felt disconnected...I'm not blaming you for busy....I know that once I get a job I'll be just as busy....but there are a few things that were bothering me I'll be honest my past relationships the other person was very defensive and in order to get my point across I had to go in with guns blazing That was the only way I could get her attention if I was loud and brash about it Otherwise I was just ignored My apologizes sincerely.... I love you And miss you very very much

(Just recently left a job to change fields and have gone on a couple interviews and she knows that)

(I wait for three hours after my last text)

Me: Are you still down to go out tonight? You don't have to answer that I understand you may be upset so We can worry about that later

Her: I am upset and a bit disappointed that you would think you had to speak to me so harshly to make a point. I don't feel like we are on the same page right now and I don't think seeing each other tonight will go over well. Not for me at least.

Me: Okay I understand This is kind of frustrating that I want to talk to you and you're just ignoring me So if I say something you don't like this is what you're going to do...just ignore my calls...What am I supposed to do baby I want to talk to you I'm sure if you were upset at me for something and I just walked away from you that would make you more upset That you don't care about my feelings enough to talk to me....

(It had been two hours now since the start and I wanted to hash it out and getting impatient)

Her: I care about your feelings but now is not the time to hash this out. I also need some space to think about what I'm feeling

Me: Okay I'd like to say that I'm sorry and hope we can move past this

(No response and I waited for another hour before I sent her my next text)

Me: Hey baby can we talk now? (No response)

Me: Baby all I want to say is that there were some things you do/did that bothered me and hurt me and frustrated me...but I didn't know how to tell you...so it just built up inside me...day after day...until you not texting me last night just set me off I wanted everything to be perfect So I tried to ignore the things which bothered me But I couldn't ignore them any longer... I should have just told you at the moment when something bothered me but I couldn't because I'm supposed to be a man like a rock who doesn't get hurt by anything I love you very much baby I don't want to hurt you it's the last thing I want to do But I know I did Anyway I hope you understand a bit better why I lost my cool bcuz the frustration was building up and I never shared it with you Hopefully in the future I will be more open and honest with you about how I feel so I don't just bury it underneath and pretend everything is okay

Her: Please give me some space I appreciate your explanation but please just let me think

Me: Okay...Can I ask what you're thinking about? I won't bother you...I just want to know if our small spat has made you not want to be with me anymore

(No response for four hours now it's 10:00 pm the issue started at 2:00 pm)

Me: I guess I'll just have to keep waiting....almost six hours ago when I said we needed to talk...you keep ignoring my phone calls...I think I gave you space...not sure how long I need to wait before we can talk about this like adults I'm not going to lie I'm losing my patience too

Her: I have have a lot going on the past week and I explained that to you and still flipped out on me. I need to think some things through and I will talk to you when I figure out what it is that I want.

Me: Can you explain what you mean by "what it is that you want?" Not sure if you're breaking up with me or not? Plus you never call me it's always me calling you...and you only talk to me for like 10 minutes....plus you text your friends when we go in a date These things bothered me...And you always tell me about when guys hit on you...And I'm not sure why you do that I feel wrongly or rightly that you're trying to make me feel jealous it really bothers me...I love you and I want you to know that Please don't make me the bad guy ...I had a rough week too I just didn't know how to tell you

(Normally these things didn't bother me at all in our relationship I was just feeling moody)

Her: I'm not making anyone good or bad. I just don't appreciate u dropping all this on me now out of the blue and bringing stuff up that's been bugging u and only now ur telling me. How do u want me to react? Ur like flipping on me and making it out like I'm intentionally here trying to do stuff. Look I need space. I'll talk to you when I figure out what it is I want or how I feel.

Me: Okay I'll leave you alone...but what do you mean by what it is that you want? If you want to break up then just say it FYI I don't want to breakup But yeah I'll give you space Well I'm sorry for dropping these things on you I'm not the best at this...I didn't do it intentionally It just built up inside me I swear I've def learned how to approach my frustrations in a more mature manner I never said you did them intentionally Hun Never meant to I guess I didn't realize that one fight meant it was over...didn't realize our relationship was so fragile And I don't want you to react in anyway Hun I just wanted to tell you how those things made me feel and I was too much of a pussy to tell you that's it

Her: It's not about the fight. It's about the the maturity level I thought you had.

Me: You have a point Not very mature on my part Well I love you And I will try to be more mature about sharing my frustrations...but I leave that up to you Hun to decide if you think I'm still worth it All I can say I'm sorry and I'll try to do better

(I leave her alone for three days of NC and not sending a single text, she reaches out to me)

Her: hey can we talk? I won't have time to call you between getting ready for my trip and work so let's text

Me: okay...I just want to say that I reacted badly because I had some trust issues in my past relationship and normally these things don't bother me at all and I'm sorry that I got upset...I just tend to take little things and assume the worst of people sometimes but you've never given me a reason to doubt you and your love. I was not in the right frame of mind and I apologize....I love you and trust you and will do my best to give you the respect you deserve

(This was all BS on my part trying to give her something to comprehend my behavior...I was just moody that day and snapped but didn't tell her that up front)

Her: I appreciate you taking a step back and realizing the issue wasn't that you couldn't talk to me but it was how you chose to speak to me. Also, it was very clear to me that you were judging me against some past habit or experience and I thought that was very unfair and immature. I came out of the ****tiest situation and I never once made you feel like I was judging you against my past nor did I ever make you feel like I didn't trust you. It was very offensive that you blew up at me even though I told you every step of the way what my schedule would be. That being said, I don't think you and I are going to move forward because at this stage in my life I've already been that girl to sit and wait for a guy to get himself together. I've also been in too many situations where a guy would flip out and then promise to change. In all honesty with my crazy work schedule and the hectic summer I have -I don't think I have the attention to give you that you require. In the beginning i thought you werr confident and laid back but after seeing how you handled a few days of my being busy-i dont think s relationship can grow.

Me: (feeling really scared I started to beg and plead a bit more and try to reason with her...telling her I was sorry etc...wrote quite a few messages)

Her: let's talk after I come back from my trip

Me: okay have a safe trip

(Give her space for five days...she reaches out to me first)

Her: I thought about it on way home I just don't think we have something I can see as lasting. I felt like I had to point out things and handhold you. I don't like that you explode and blow up so easily. Your approach is very volatile and I am not getting involved with that. Sorry.

Me: (I begged and pleaded some more...got no responses...even lost my temper saying how something so small could just make her walk away...)

Haven't heard anything since from

I know I made a few mistakes: a) being moody taking it out on her b) making a mountain out of a mole hill (gave her a bs answer about trust when I was just moody) c) not respecting her wish and giving her space and smothering her and inadvertently pushing her away

But my question is "what I did was it fair for her to judge my character and make such assumptions about me over something that was just passive aggressive"

In my head I thought it would have gone "sorry babe I was just a bit frustrated" And that would be the end of that