Choosing your frame.

Metalaggeddon · 2015-08-24T12:41:14+00:00

There aren't really aren't "frame" styles, as far as I can tell.

Frame is something that comes from knowing what you do and don't want, what is and is not acceptable, and enforcing that.

Saying no, saying something isn't acceptable or that it won't be tolerated, but also pushing for what you want and being demanding in what you deserve, these are frame.

So as you see, many different personalities, "funny guy, serious guy, quiet guy, life of the party" they can all hold frame as long as they know themselves cold and won't compromise themselves in a situation.

That being said, don't mistake frame for being methodical and scheduled, you should be dependable in your values, not necessarily your activity choice and schedule. A wild card, spontaneous person can easily have frame as much as a methodical schedule ruled 9-5 corporate titan.

I think with some healthy meditation and introspection, then practice with social groups and people, you will recognize your frame. A strong frame is to be dependable in your values, what is good for you stays, what is not simply goes.

robotghow · 2015-08-24T16:43:00+00:00

Frame is the combination of your goals, mood and boundaries. Apart from your absolute do's and don'ts, you set different boundaries for each person you know. For instance, good friends can call you in the middle of the night, but you won't tolerate it from other people. You might be okay with a girl touching your hair because you like her, but you won't tolerate it from a girl you dislike. Maintaining frame means people can't mess with your boundaries, and if they want you to relax your boundaries they have to earn it (i.e. it's not enough to be a pretty girl).

The second part of frame is your mood, which means your energy. It doesn't matter what it is, what matters is that it's completely your choice. No one can change your mood forcefully, no one can shake you. Of course, that's an impossible aspiration, but a good one to have. Generally, people who aren't important to you shouldn't have any effect on your mood. Same goes to your goals, which are the things that are important to you and the #1 reasons for any action you take. You shouldn't let others shake you. For instance, if you like dancing, don't let anybody's mockery dissuade you.

So yes, it's about deciding who you are, but you don't have to be rigid about it, or even very specific. You just have to choose who you want to be, and don't let anyone stop you from being that man.

Title	Choosing your frame.
Author	RedFrodo
Upvotes	2
Comments	5
Date	August 24, 2015 11:34 AM UTC (10 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/3i6vf4/choosing_your_frame/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/choosing-your-frame.152900 https://theredarchive.com/post/152900

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