Comfort Test?

vandaalen · 2019-12-10T09:04:10+00:00

This is what you get for texting horseshit. Keep it to logistics.

2019-12-10T08:03:42+00:00

Well you probably shouldn’t tell her that your going on dates. That being said, nothing wrong with being honest rather than avoiding her question. You could have even asked her back “why do you care about that”

unnatural_by_nature · 2019-12-10T14:11:15+00:00

Look: you’re causing all of this back-and-forth lame banter because you’re sending out mixed messages and she’s probing to find out what is truth and what is fiction.

I’m staying at your place

A good start. She shit tests you in response.

Jk I’ll get my own place.

DEFCON 2- She still capitulates because she’s interested, but also sends a scout to try and figure out what is happening with “jk I just want to keep my eye on you”.

You now decide to tell her you’re going on dates.

Now she is in DEFCON 3.

“This dude is paying to fly himself to New York and insists on staying with me, but he’s going on dates and telling me about it?”

She sends ANOTHER scout with “so how was the date” but meanwhile starts building obstacles, setting up snipers while gathering troops and equipment (probably consulting with allies AKA other women about what your deal is).

I’m canceling my flights. You seem unsure.

Your bitch beta behavior because she isn’t responding the way you think she should (AKA “covert contract” for those unfamiliar with MRP) has now gotten her to DEFCON 2 and has likely also gotten her ASD and LMR protocols allllll warmed up, just for you.

“Is this dude coming to New York just to fuck me? Does...does he think I’m a slut?”

She ponders with a glass of boxed wine in her hand.

“He’s the one coming all this way on his own dime during the holidays when we aren’t even exclusive, so clearly I’m not a slut; he’s got no other options”

Meanwhile you haven’t even bought the tickets because you don’t trust her? Get the fuck outa here.

Either go or don’t. Stop being a woman about it, trying to get some reaction out of her that you haven’t even laid the groundwork for. I’m sure you’re thinking “WTF I’M COMING ALL THIS WAY JUST TO SEE HER AND SHE ISN’T EVEN EXCITED” as you pout your lip and cross your arms with a huff.

Ever think she might be a bit nervous about the whole thing AND excited, but waiting for YOU to give her a reason to allow herself to show that excitement?

I know you probably think waffling on the things you say (staying at her place and maybe not coming at all) and telling her you’re going on dates in the interim is being all aloof and dreading the fuck outta her brah, but it’s not.

Keep up the manipulative bullshit and DEFCON 1 is in your very near future. She’ll let you get all the way there, ghost your ass from orbit and you’ll deserve it.

i-am-the-prize · 2019-12-10T13:32:01+00:00

yeah, you needed to pressure flip, it was a shittest, not a comfort test. I know "text for logistics" but if you're going to give a Long Distance Plate a try (Not an LDR (LTR at distance b/c they suck and rarely end well)) then either you talk or text a bit more than a local chick.

Here's some advice... when she said: "how was your date?"

instead of replying with " id prefer if we just focus on our time we'll be spending together in new york and not talking about that" (ie: talking about what you want to talk about) - instead actually talk about it. reply with: "tell me where you'll be taking me in 'your town' to show me a good time" You focus the convo on her/you (not your other date) AND you put pressure on her to be the one who has to impress you. She's already hamstering about your other Plate, no need to keep that up. So have her be the one who has to Prove herself to you - as a host and a local (since you're flying to her - which is another not great idea - spending hundreds of $$ for a piece of ass) so get her to entice you...

You're already doing a needy move by flying to her (BP guys will say it's "your end of things" and women will say its romantic... that's beside the point, you are flying to go fuck her.) So you need to make the rest of the interaction balance out the effort - it's not just about the $$ it's about the 'investment' of Time and Attention. That is your Gold. Spend it wisely.

did she say all 3 of these statements? (i can't tell if this is back and forth or if she triple texted)

she replied "starting to doubt your interest"

"i think i need to hear more from you than to hear how excited youll be to see me"

"im asking to have a serious conversation"

If this is her triple texting, yeah - line 2 she's actually pushing you to prove yourself - and you're the one considering flying to her!

jonsmif9797 · 2019-12-10T08:48:24+00:00

her living 3 hours ahead

Are you in a long-distance, OP?

IceBear---69 · 2019-12-10T13:59:18+00:00

I see you're still listening to what she says. Radio silence / logistics only is preached here for a reason. MOST newbies are gonna fuck up if they go beyond that. The longer you stick around here, the sooner you'll find your voice and learn how to text properly.

StrangeInstructions · 2019-12-10T16:18:59+00:00

how was your date

"it kinda sucked. i'm looking forward to seeing you. we vibe way better."

starting to doubt your interest [..] i think i need to hear more from you than to hear how excited youll be to see me [..] im asking to have a serious conversation

"i understand how you're feeling completely. we're going to have a great time"

my initial reaction was to answer her before she even asked that second part because it's obvious what's going on. every girl does this at some point and it's all the same 2-3 lines.

girls are kids and it's important they know you know how they feel. this leads to them needing to painfully spell their emotions and a lot of guys losing their fucking shit. but if you want to keep a girl around this is the price you pay.

failed_singingcareer · 2019-12-10T21:44:36+00:00

You're in the wrong, she's in the right.

Stop texting like a needy weirdo. Keep things funny, confident and serious.

Title	Comfort Test?
Author	StrangeInstructions
Upvotes	0
Comments	17
Date	December 10, 2019 7:50 AM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/e8noql/comfort_test/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/comfort-test.298630 https://theredarchive.com/post/298630

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