Dates and timing

metallica11 · 2015-09-30T16:46:56+00:00

Its posts like these that remind me how much logistics and happenstance play into gaining success with women (=laid). since getting laid typically means the women is emotionally invested in you, you could almost say that happenstance and logistics, some of which seem to be "minor" factors, are a huge factor into whether a girl "falls for you" or not, and to optimize these factors In my opinion, a huge reason for this is that women want things to "fall into place" with little effort on their part, both because they want to be led and to absolve themselves of responsibilities for their actions.

Here is an example of an interpretation of what a women experiences up to sex (seemingly "accidents"), and what part a man that knows how to optimize these factors puts into it:

"I thought we were going to meet for one drink and leave, but I ended up in his bed and sex just happened. He recommended a bar he loves, but did not mention it was close to his place (guy planned close proximity to location where he can isolate and escalate and framed it as an awesome place rather than a place close to his place, which may cause the girl to think he is other motives), He arrived and insisted we sit at the bar near the corner instead of a table or booth across from each other (Guy realizes that close proximity is essential for kino), turns out it was 2 for 1 happy hours, so now I was drinking already 1 more than the usual drink (guy realizes that more alcohol = increased chances, and did not warn the girl of the happy hour so that it would not seem like he is forcing drinks upon him). I was already buzzed, and noticed his hand rubbing my leg but didnt seem to mind since I was buzzed and in close proximity to him anyways. He knew the bartender, who gave us a complementary bottle of wine to share (Guy again realizes that if the girl acts on her own conviction to drink it's less of her responsibility, and knows that one cannot turn down a complimentary drink). I was buzzing, him touching me was turning me on more and more, and I soon realized that I could not drive back to my place. After giving me the hottest makeout, He told me that he lives not too far and I can sober up at his place on the porch with his roommate if I choose, and then leave when I want since he has my safety in mind, but also gave me the option of getting a cab with my own money (frames coming back to her place as a concern for her driving back drunk and alleviates additional suspicion by stating that she can get a cab back to her place to and does not have to stay, and that they meet on the porch and not the bedroom with his roommate there)" ..etc.etc.etc

Bellum00 · 2015-10-01T09:34:16+00:00

Women are not goldfish. They don't forget you, they reject you.

"Asking if you don't mind going for drinks another day." It's a test to evaluate your social capital: available equals low SMV. Moreover you enter her frame. I think the reply should be that you are not available for a while, and that you will contact her if/when you find the time.

secret_barber · 2015-10-01T18:56:14+00:00

5 days of no contact made them forget you

This has never been my experience. If they want to meet you, they never forget.

throw_em_all · 2015-09-30T15:01:38+00:00

Text her the same night after making out, or the next morning, just your name or something like "hey enjoyed X last night, talk to you later" in my experience this is a good way to make her remember about what happened and fixate those emotions. Also to test if she's a possible flake (if you text the morning/day after and she doesn't reply or takes way to much time to do so, then obviously next).
Ask her for the first date with enough anticipation to avoid cheap bullshit flakes.
If she doesn't text you between the day you set the date and the day of the date, you don't text her, keeping her attention should be something you accomplish through SMV and not validation.
Text her the day before or the same day of the date, to confirm said date.

If she flakes after all of this, then next and move on, you should be scheduling multiple dates per week anyways, there's no way you can guarantee a 100% that any women will not flake you can only make sure you have plans to enjoy yourself anyway.

wehadtosaydickety · 2015-09-30T15:03:26+00:00

She's rejected you. Should've sealed the deal the first night. I'd expect it not to happen but send a reminder text the day of, knowing it's a Hail Mary.

OmLaLa · 2015-09-30T15:01:50+00:00

So long as you've met in person, 5 days worth of baking is perfectly acceptable.

That being said, whether or not you've left an impression on her for her to remember you after 5 days depends solely on your charisma.

Think of it this way:

To girls walk past you in the mall and wink, ones an HB5 and ones an HB9. Which are you more likely to remember after a week? The HB9.

From the dodginess of her texts, I'd assume that you didn't leave a strong enough impression on her for her to pine for your attention. While that could be due to her intoxication, attributing to such seems more like an ego-guarding justification. It's more likely that your SMV wasn't quite high enough and the ample text prior to baking further weakened your chances. This is only a guess, however.

She knows what you want from her. She remembers what you look like too, do a degree. If she doesn’t respond to meeting after 5 days, it means she's not as interested in you as you are in her. Drop her and try again with someone else.

I'd suggest making a date and on the day of the date not showing up or responding to her texts. She'll reach out a few days later asking what happened. Say you were busy. This will change her perception of your level of investment and will strengthen your chances to "close" in the future. Patience is your best option in cases like these.

ComplementaryColour · 2015-09-30T15:34:35+00:00

I usualy just drop some pictures, or fun facts each day. Make them seem like a broadcast message and just leave it at that. If she answears or asks follow up questions I usualy dont reply to her for another 2 hours or so.

This pokes her and reminds her of my existence and maby, some of the stuff you send her can make her laugh or what not.

But the absolutly best thing to do in a scenario like this is to set a good enough tone the first time you see eachother so that the ONLY thing holding you back from taking her home is logistics. Then she'll know the reason for the number.

The only thing the number, or the day 2 should imply is: "Hey we're attracted to eachother, just becaus we cant fuck tonight Ill get your number in order to fuck you at another time!"

When she knows this she'll be easier all the way through! She might even start to text you, and seek validation from you each day. Then you just have to keep her warm untill the date.

Title	Dates and timing
Author	Dsdcimyc
Upvotes	5
Comments	24
Date	September 30, 2015 1:11 PM UTC (10 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/3myn8i/dates_and_timing/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/dates-and-timing.154531 https://theredarchive.com/post/154531

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